Counseling 101

Good morning everyone!!

So our counselor’s meeting yesterday was quite interesting… for a start, each time I called to get directions to the place, I got a different answer. So I had James (our driver/personal assistant/friend) call. So we go to the place he was told… it’s on the “first floor”, meaning the second floor (buildings start with a “ground floor” here). Had to climb up this little tiny staircase – narrower than what you have in your own house, let me tell you! And there was no parking outside, so Meer couldn’t stay and “drive” with Uncle Jimmy (his favorite pastime!). So there we were – I’m huffing up the stairs first – having to side step people coming down all the time, with a toddler in my arms and on uneven slippery tile stairs…. Uneven slippery DIRTY tile stairs! Ha ha ha!! Kush is behind us - yelling (- oh. I mean "talking"!) on his mobile ohone the whole way! Anyway – we get up there, and find that is the MAIN OFFICE. The counseling offices are ACROSS THE ROAD on the THIRD FLOOR of a different building. Sigh.

And yes – by this time we are already 10 minutes late!

So we cross the road – still no parking, so Kush grabs Meer and off we go – marching up another four flights of stairs. Luckily these stairs were a normal width, and had those open bricks on the one main wall – so there was fresh air, and it was almost pleasant!

So we get to the top, and an askari (guard) opens this grill gate thing for us. Kush asks him if the security is ok, and the guy smiles and says (in Swahilli), “Yes it is not bad.” To which we all laugh – because why would they have a security gate at the top of a staircase if the security was GOOD??? (***Tracey – this is the part of town where the orphanages are… kinda yucky as in no green trees, and lots of litter and dirty concrete)

Anyway – we go inside and are waiting to meet “Violet” – she is the head of the counseling department, apparently. We are a good 15 minutes late by now, and Kush has a meeting scheduled in 45 minutes. I had lied and told him it would take an hour – our social worker said it was less than 30 minutes, so I figured I was safe with doubling it.
Turns out we had to wait about 10 minutes for Violet to show up, and by this time Kush had a slight lather to him- looking at his watch constantly and a bit of tension showing up in the face… ya know what I mean?? Well – for those who know him – it worth a quick chuckle!!

So we go into this room with this middle aged African Lady… we sit down. Kush takes Meer and feeds him some puffed wheat. Violet hands me this three page form to fill out – which I do immediately. As I am doing it she explains to us that the meeting will take between one and one and a half HOURS, and that we can talk about anything, blah, blah, blah. I am not looking, but I can FEEL Kush clench up!! So I mention (as I am fillign out a form at the speed of light!!) that Kush has a meeting, and we were told the session would only last 30 minutes – so if we could do the short version – I would appreciate it. Violet agreed, and commented that she had seen Kush look at his watch about 20 times since entering the room! So I was relieved, but then we sat in silence while I worked at the form! I was like… uh….

Eventually I broke the ice myself, and said, “Hey Hun – do you have any questions about adoption? – I do. What are we supposed to tell the child about her birthmother if her birthmother had thrown her away in a pit latrine? Are we supposed to tell the truth? Or lie? Like when the child asks and is a late teenager or early adult? Do we tell the truth?” So THAT got things going! By this point in time I was following Meer around the room as he investigated everything, and Violet asked me what I would want to know if I was the one that adopted and asking. I had to admit I would rather hear the truth – as an ADULT, that is. Anyway…

We were outta there in about 35 minutes – including the time it took Violet to write us a receipt (so I could put it in Our Future Child’s scrapbook!!!!) All in all it was lovely! We have to go back with our daughter and Meer – so she can see how we are bonding, etc. Got to admit – she was a truly lovely person! Even Kush really liked her! So top snaps to that.

Well – Meer is outside driving around in his Tiny Tikes car with Uncle Jimmy… I had best get out there before Kush has to go to work! Meer freaks when they leave, so I like to have something exciting in the works for the departure – as a distraction.
MUCH loving…