As Time Stands Still...

Well – GOOD NEWS!!! We are bringing home Tanaya Jean on Tuesday morning at 11am!!! It has been a long ordeal, with difficult to obtain documents, and then a further one week delay waiting for the orphanage to process their paperwork, etc. But now it suddenly seems like it was easy and (relatively) quick!! I am sure the big hassle is still yet to come, as we have the three month foster period to complete, and then the Kenyan court system to navigate our way through. But having her home, and giving her a good bath, and lotion massage, and dressing her up in nice new clothes – I can’t wait!!!

Speaking of which… I should make a countdown ticker!!!! Anyway – 3 more sleeps, and we can bring her home… !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Orphanage

So this is a google Earth picture of the orphanage. You can tell by the photo that the courtyard within the building is the only outdoor space the orphanage has. When I get more details, I will post them... ;-)

Progress. It is??

So I spent the morning chasing around the adoption trail… turns out there isn’t a 3 month old baby girl ANYWHERE!!! The ones born in November are already fostered out to adoptive parents. We even went to a different orphanage on this side of town that had reported having a baby girl, but they also turned out to be 7 months old and 1 year old. So that sucks.

Basically we can have our social worker send our paperwork to New Life Homes – which is when they can be open about the status, gender, and ages of the children they have (although the youngest girl they have is 7 months old). Then basically we wait for baby girls to be brought in, and grow up to 3 months in age. I am hoping they have one that is maybe 4 or 6 weeks old, but from what the social worker said – they don’t.

At least our application is officially DONE, and the letter of approval is being signed today, and sent off to New Life… so we are officially in-line! Who would have thunk it, huh??? 2 million orphans, and not one 3 month old healthy baby girl. UGH!!!

I KNOW it is all in God’s time, and when the right daughter for our family comes along, it will work out perfectly… but still so frustrating to be so close, and yet still have nothing tangible. Sigh…

Tick....Tock....

The Certificates of Good Conduct (criminal background checks) are ready to be collected from the C.I.D. Finally!! So I should see them tonight when dear hubby get’s home from work – then scan them to make a copy for the adoption scrapbook. Tomorrow I am HOPING to go to Little Angels Network and drop them off in the morning as soon as traffic clears up a little. Then scoot by New Life Home Trust to speak with a social worker about which babies are available at this time, etc.

I am being hopeful that there is a new little angel that is just waiting for us, and will be 3 months old in the middle of April. That is what I am REALLY hoping for!!!

Tomorrow Meer is also 1000 days old!!! Yes – the only reason I would ever have known is that handy little ticker at the side of this page – who knew it would be so useful when I installed it years ago, hey??

So that is that. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting….

Paperwork...

Mission successful! After waiting for a good hour in the parking lot for someone to arrive, we have gotten our finger prints officially taken, and our applications for Certificates of Good Conduct are due out on Monday. How GREAT is that??? So Tuesday I can go and drop them off at Little Angels Network, and then they can immediately refer us to New Life Homes to select our daughter.

We still do have company coming, and it might still work out best for us to bring her home immediately after returning to Nairobi… I suppose we have to wait and see when exactly we can meet our daughter, and take it from there. All in all, a GREAT day!!!

Paperwork Update

The update is, we have an appointment at C.I.D. (aka: Kenya’s highest police division, called the Criminal Investigation Department) set for Friday morning. Which means – if all goes quickly, we should have our Certificates of Good Conduct (aka: Kenya’s version of a criminal record check) handed over to Little Angels Network sometime next week.

My GOAL is to have our documents completed and handed over before our friends arrive on the 29th. Then while we are busy around town and on safari, our paperwork can be referred to New Life Home Trust, and we can set up an appointment to “select our child” for as soon as we get back from safari – most likely April 13th or 14th. Then my mom will still have about 10 days to visit her grand daughter at the orphanage, and a couple weeks to help us all adjust to the new addition when we FINALLY get to bring her home!!!

So you know what they say about idle hands...

Baby Options

The minimum age for adoption in Kenya is 6 weeks, but the orphanage we have selected has a strict rule of the minimum age being 3 months old. Their reasoning behind it is half medical, half legal… The medical part is obvious – the health and developmental ability of the children can be assessed quite well by three months of age. The legal part I am a bit more confused about… the social worker at New Life Home Trust explained it to me (twice – shh!), but I didn’t have the courage to keep questioning her until I understood it completely. The jist of it that there is a six week period where the parents can come back and claim the child, or something like that. Or it’s a form that takes 6 weeks to process in the courts? I don’t exactly know – but something like that. Basically New Life Home Trust waits until the health of the child is confirmed, and the legal status of the child is confirmed. Thus the minimum age of 3 months to adopt. (heavy sigh.)

Anyway – they have two baby girls that are around “the right age” to be adopted. One was born on November 4th, and the other on November 26th. Apparently one of my Aunts was born on November 4th!! …she had breast cancer, and passed on a couple years ago. So that is pretty cool… NOT that my Aunt passed on, of course, but that there is a baby waiting to be adopted that was born on her birthday. ;-)


Our other option is to see if any baby girls are available at New Life Home Trust’s orphanage in Mombasa. If there is, we can fly out there and meet them/her, and adopt from there.

Or we can wait until another baby girl becomes 3 months old… I’m not sure how many younger baby girls they have though.

Technically we can also switch orphanages and choose a 6 week old baby girl from somewhere else. I really don’t want to do that, as New Life is the “best” orphanage in Kenya, and I obviously want our daughter to have received the absolute best care and medical attention before we can provide for her ourselves.

Now waiting to be approved is absolute AGONY… I don’t know what else I can paint, remodel, or build, to keep me occupied until we are, but I most certainly will have to keep myself swamped with projects – just to keep my sanity!!

Things Available Locally

Photo Albums – hand made with leather and bone, etc. LOVELY. ($20 - $100 depending on size) A definate MUST HAVE.
Scrapbooks – same thing. Pricey, but worth it. ($60 - $120 depending on style and size)
Leather beaded sandals. Pick your color, pick your style! Great, and like $20 a pair.
Kazuri Beads – fab necklaces, etc. www.kazuribeads.co.uk/ (yes – you can go to the factory!!)
Swim Suit Wraps www.kikoy.com (or great fabric in general to make nursery items!!)
Johnson & Johnson Baby Bath Products
Colgate Toothpaste
Oral B Toothbrushes
Shampoo and Conditioner (Pantene, Organix, Sun Silk, etc)
Body Wash & Lotions (Fa, Dove, etc, plus ones from a healthfood store)
Avent Baby Bottles, Soothers, etc… a bit pricey – but good quality.
Normal Pampers - made in Egypt, very absorbent, but with a thin plastic outer shell.
Bath Towels - grocery stores have them for like $6! Not bad.
Baby Spit Rags - very reasonable - 12 for... $4? But you will need to take a taxi into town to get them - we have a street dedicated to sewing supplies and baby stuff! Imagine.
Baby Flannel Blankets - same thing - cheap ($3), but you have to go into town to get them.
Baby Q-Tips - Septona brand. Cheap, and pretty good. Like - $3 per box of 100.
Baby Board Books - the price is about $10 - $20 canadian per book, but easier than packing heavy things, if you ask me!
Baby Baths – plastic kind with a moulded seat.
Plastic Stuff in general – 2 local companies that produce just about everything for cheap
Medications – pharmacies are cheaper here by far – no prescriptions required.
Vitamins and Healthcare Products - we have two healthfood stores, which carry just about everything these days!

Did I miss anything? Just ask!!

Things to Bring with You

Face Care
House slippers and/or cozy sox’s (It gets cold inside the house at night)
Deodorant - the best kind you can get here is Nivea... it works in a pinch, but, seriously.
Baby’s Clothes & Shoes - you do NOT want to buy ONE THING locally!! FAR too expensive, and the quality is poor.... well - poor-ISH!
Baby Blankets - same thing - best to bring one with you. Fleece ones here are.. $80 ??
Baby Slings (2 – one for the laundry) www.hotslings.com
Hip Seat Carrier - FABULOUS – best for travelling back home! I am wearing mine in the picture on the right - I wear it ALL the time! Saves the shoulders and back - completely. www.hippychick.com
www.hippychick.com/index.cfm/children/Products.List/category_id/65
Concentrated Tylenol Infant Drops I would bring a lot – like 6 or 12 bottles. (they’re small!!)
Fancy Thermometer (IF you have one – no biggie. Normal ones are cheap here.)
Baby Toys… Discovery Toys – Rattles, and “Stacktivities” (they are great and light weight)
Clamp-On High Chair – great for restaurants, and at your apartment or hotel.
Stroller… optional, but you can if you like. I use the hipseat instead. Easier. People carry your shopping for you here – so a stroller can be a bit of a hassle, if you ask me.
Travel cot/playpen/crib combo – might be handy for your child to sleep in, etc.
Car Seat – another pain in the ass. I wouldn’t bother… oops! Not to be a bad mother! But in a dirty taxi, I would rather hold the kid and get in and out faster. It’s up to you, though.
Playtex Baby Bottles - or whatever feeding system you prefer. You can get Avent brand here.
Pampers Active Fit - these are my favorite. Super thin, super absorbent (12 hours plus), and have a breathable fabric feeling outer shell. When you can find them here, they are $30 - $40 per pack of 32. (ouch!!) I use them during the night, and on outings.
Stickers for Scrapbooking – if you are doing the scrapbook thing! Can’t get jack here.

Sigh...

So I got another call from New Life Home… they wanted us to come over on Tuesday afternoon at 3:00 to select our daughter! How freakin’ HEARTBREAKING to have to DECLINE. I explained that we have an upcoming trip abroad, and have to wait until we come back to select our daughter – so we don’t have to leave her behind. It just sucked. I felt like SUCH a looser. I still do. I dunno. It’s just depressing to be the one responsible for the hold-up…

I’ll babble more when my mood improves… no point whining all over the place!!

Lifebooks - The Time to Start is Now

Here we go again - click on the title to view the original document I stole (see author info at the end of the post) this from - I think this whole Lifebook thing is just SO important... ;-D

Good news for waiting families: pre-placement is a perfect time to start the lifebook process. Before children arrive, parents will have time - a luxury not often enjoyed once children are at home! Use that time to;

*keep a journal
*pay attention to non-critical information
*maintain alertness to the 'warm fuzzies'
*gather information by examining history and interviewing people involved in the placement.


Keeping a journal, says Massachusetts' ODS Adoption Community of New England, Inc., Executive Director Joan Clark, helps both process your own emotions and record vital pieces of information. Journaling permits us to rely on our experiences instead of our occasionally spotty memories. The adoption process can be lengthy and stressful, not unlike pregnancy. Holding on to an assortment of events, names, and hard and soft facts is next to impossible when you can't remember where you put the car keys some days. If you keep a journal, that journal will always be available for review.

Another way to start is by simply maintaining attentiveness. This is related to keeping a journal, because sometimes connections between events aren't made right away. Parents may receive pieces of information that don't fit neatly together. Only over time, after repeated exposure, do the pieces of the puzzle suggest where they might fit. In addition, synchronicity (unusual coincidence) seems to pop up a great deal in the adoption world. Sometimes these connections just call out, "This is unbelievable!" Reviewing a journal can help facilitate making these connections - but first we have to be sure we're paying attention to the details.

"A couple adopting from Russia was planning to follow their religious tradition of naming their new baby after a grandmother who had passed on... Often people choose either the first name or the first initial, which was M in this instance. When they received the referral papers, the baby's first name already started with M, and she was born the same day that the grandmother died." - as told to ODS Community NE Executive Director Joan Clark, adoptive mother.


These stories contribute to family history and honor a spiritual dimension. They enhance the 'legend' quality of the adoption story, giving children a sense that this was always meant to be. This sense may enhance positive feeling and help with acceptance of adoptive-family values once the teen years arrive!


A third way to start the lifebook process is to maintain alertness to 'warm fuzzies,' which are pieces of personal, family-oriented information that are not typically part of the official record. Waiting parents can be more sensitive to warm fuzzy facts as they engage in such pursuits as travel to birth countries, meetings with birthparents to discuss open adoption, or receipt of foster care placement information. As you move through the adoption process, developing lifebook 'antenna' for cute items and other tidbits will help you collect the stories your child will cherish.


One of the best times to soak up information - the fourth means of beginning a lifebook - is prior to placement. Once placement occurs, then the initial attachment period sets in. Sometimes this period isn't compatible with examining your child's birth history, placement history, or the reason s/he became available for adoption. (This is why it's best for foster children to be placed in adoptive homes with up-to-date lifebooks.) I often find that after placement it takes 12-18 months before the lifebook journey can be resumed.


Before placement occurs, search out those pieces of information that will turn to gold in the teen years, even during young adulthood. As the 'lifebook detective,' see this search as Job #1! The information you uncover will help lay the cornerstones of your new family's foundation.


Often, as a child becomes older, s/he will have numerous questions about the pre-placement period or birth family history. These might be as simple as, "What was the name of my favorite staff member at the orphanage?" or direct and complicated, such as, "Is my birth mother still alive?" During adolescence and early adulthood, adoption information takes on great significance.


Personally, I always hated doctor visits, when I had to say I knew nothing about my medical history. Medical information can be difficult to obtain, yet few things are as necessary to have. Pieces that may be just as vital to track down are nuggets like the birthmother's favorite childhood games. Try to interview people who had contact with birth family members. Treat the orphanage staff as extended birth family. Get quotes about your child, the full name of the person quoted, and photos.


Open adoption? Don't be shy - find out as much as possible about the birthfather, his childhood interests, talents, nationality, personality traits, favorite things. Do the same for the birthmother.


Treat each opportunity as if it were the last, because you simply never know what the future might bring. Lifebook information comes to you via official documents, your recollections and experiences, and the results of paying attention to new types of information.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Beth O'Malley, speaker, and author of "LifeBooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child", "My Foster Care Journey", and "For When I'm Famous: A Teen Foster/Adoption LifeBook", is a former foster baby, and has worked over 18 years as a social worker. She is married and lives on the ocean outside of Boston. She can be reached at 1.800.469.9666 or lifebooks@earthlink.net or her Web site, www.adoptionlifebooks.com.

Breaking News...

Kush was home from work “early” today (before 6pm, at least!) so we ate some food with Meer, and then as we were getting ready to take Meer out for one last spin in his car, Kush got a phone call and went into the living room to take it. Meer and I carried on our way out the door. Kush caught up with us within a minute, and had two cereal bars in his hands. He hands me a bar, and tells me to open it – he had good news!

So we both open our bars, and began walking and pushing Meer in his car…

Kush was like, “We’ve been approved.” And I was like – “What? By WHO?” (yes – completely oblivious!), and then he was like, “To adopt a child!”!!!

WhooOooOoOOooOOooOOoo HOOOOOOOOO!

I think it was a phone call from New Life Home orphanage – I saw a missed call from tehm on my phone. But then like – the ORPHANAGE calls to tell us we are approved? Not our social worker??? I am a bit confused about that part. And that we were to go on MONDAY to select a child??? Something like that.

Which has spun us into another dilemma, because Kush has upcoming work abroad, so have to wait a bit before we can actually select a child… once we have found our daughter – we can’t leave her behind!! Ya know? And our daughter cannot leave Kenya until her passport and adoption is finalized… a slight pain in the ass, but nothing unexpected.

So the jist of it, we are waiting until about December or January to go and find our daughter… but somehow now that we are APPROVED, it is more painful to wait. I dunno. It’s hard to explain. But then again – I was giving Meer his bath tonight, and was thinking – I can do this for TWO kids at once??? I can still be a great mom to Meer AND another infant?? Suddenly I can see why parents tend to wait for 2 or 3 years between children!! Maybe it is just a slap of reality hitting me…

Anyway – off to bed! Just had to share the good news as soon as possible!

Many blessings…

Adoption - Some Inspiration

Well – deciding to do it is the hardest part. There is a lot of inspiration available – all you have to do is visit an orphanage once, and you will be touched so deeply you will suddenly find adoption in your heart.

Before we went, I had it in my head I would have to adopt an infant - the younger the better. But after visiting with the children, I knew it was in me to adopt a toddler! Who would have thunk it. After speaking with our pediatrician though, we have decided to maintain the birth order for Meer, and will be adopting a child younger than he is. Aparently it is easier for them to bond if the oldest stays the oldest, etc. Makes sense, really.

Anyway - the above picture was taken by my Mom, at an orphanage called New Life Home Trust. (You can check out their web page by clicking on the title of this post.) The home cares for up to 50 babies, all of which were HIV+ and abandoned at birth. When we were there they had 47 babies. The babies are taken in between 0 – 3 months old, and then moved on to other homes when they reach the age of 3. Some are adopted, but as one of the workers told us, only about 10 per year. This is a bit confusing when you compare it to the stats on the website (which says most children are adopted or fostered), so I think that means lots of children become fostered, but not actually adopted. I should also add that 70% of them are HIV negative by the age of about 4 months old.

The orphanage is run in a quite large house – three separate wings/stories for the different ages; 0-1, 1-2, and 2-3. The home is VERY clean, and they have a lot of volunteers from all over the world that come to play with the children, and help with feedings, etc. There is a doctor’s office within the home, where pediatricians come on a volunteer basis to provide healthcare for the children. There is also an isolation nursery where the very young stay when they first arrive. There were 9 newborns there when we visited. They are in isolation to protect them from germs while they fight off the HIV virus.

All in all it is a really good place. I highly recommend you to snoop around their website – they have some stories of the individual babies that are really touching.

Anyway – I hope you are inpired! ;-D

Adoption - the 1st Step

When you find adoption in your heart, the first thing to do is contact Little Angel’s Network. There is also a Christian based agency, and a government agency – we chose Little Angel’s, since I had heard them mentioned on the Internet quite a bit. There website is private (?), so I don’t recommend trying to contact them via email either – I never did hear back from them. So pick up the phone, and give them a call. The number to dial is: 254-20-386-6442 and technically, their website is: www.littleangels.or.ke IF you can get it to work for YOU! Who ever anwers the phone will be very helpful - a shocking and rare event here in Kenya!

So what you have to do then, is actually go in person to pick up the application forms. Basically you have to pre-apply, to apply! NOT joking. And they are these faded yellow tissue-paper forms from the 1950’s, I SWEAR! So like why they are kept in lock-down – Lord only knows!

Anyway – when you get there, you will be taken into a little room with a little table and a couple plastic lawn chairs. A very pleasant social worker will come in and ask you a few questions, and then basically READS the fine print to you, and explains what else you have to do, and what documentation you have to include in your application. All in all, it takes about 10 minutes, and was quite interesting and even... dare I say...enjoyable!

Following is a copy of information on the form...

Adoption - the Application Form

A - PRE-REQUISITES FOR ADOPTION

*Must be between the ages of 25 and 65

*Must be 21 years older than the child they wish to adopt

*Is a mother or father of child (??)

*In case of joint application the couple must have been married to one another for at least 3 years

*Single applicants (male or female) cannot adopt children of the opposite sex unless under special circumstances

*A sole foreign female applicant can only adopt under special circumstances


B - FORMAL APPLICATION

If you meet the requirements given by the law, e.g. age limit, you will be issued with the application forms. Your application is only considered formal when you hand in your duly completed application forms.

The following should be attached:

*2 full sized recent photos of the applicants (if you have children – 2 pictures of you and your spouse, and 2 pictures of you, your spouse, and your children)

*Copy of ID (Kenyan Citizen)

*Copy of Passport and Work Permit (Non-Kenyan Resident)

*Marriage certificate – in case of joint application, they must have been married for at least 3 years

*Medical Reports

*Proof of financial status – pay slip, bank statement, etc



C - JOINT INTERVIEW

The applicants will go through a joint interview at Little Angels Offices


D - INDIVIDUAL INTERVIEWS

Incase of joint applicants, each of them will go through an individual interview with the LANS social worker. This also includes any children in the home over the age of 14 years.


E - HOME VISIT

Upon return of the forms and completion of the interview sessions an appointment is fixed for the home visit. The aim of the visit is to:

· Determine applicants physical location (where the child will be living)

· Assess the suitability of the applicants to adopt/foster a child – living conditions are also assessed

· Conduct an in depth interview with the applicants in the privacy of their home.

Note: In case of a joint application, both applicants MUST be present during the home visit.



F - COUNSELING

Visit recommended counsellors for manditory counselling session.



G - MEDICAL CHECK-UP

This must be done by a doctor recommended by the Society and the report forwarded to Little Angels confidentially.

Note: The adoption regulation requires that an HIV test is carried out as part of the examination.



H - CASE COMMITTEE DECISION

The LANS Case Committee will then go through your applicationand Home Study Report. The committee will either: Approve, Defer, or REJECT your application. In the event that your application is Deferred or Rejected - reasons for the same will be given in writing.



I - IDENTIFICATION OF THE CHILD

Once approved as a fit parent, the applicants will be assisted in identifying a suitable child(ren).



J - GENDER

Please indicate preference of age and sex of child to simplify the identification process.



K - BONDING PERIOD

After identifying a child, the applicants will be required to make at least 6 visits to the relevant home over a 1 to 2 week period.

Reasons for the visits:

· To bond with the baby before taking him/her home.

· Medical check-ups: during the 2 weeks, it is optional for the applicants to seek a second opinion on the child from an independent doctor. This should be arranged with the Matron/Nursing Manager of the relevant home.

· Preparation to receive the baby at home e.g. buying clothes, bedding, etc.



L - FOSTER PERIOD

After 2 weeks bonding process, the child is discharged to the prospective parents who then begin the fostering process. This period shall last 3 months.



M - FOLLOW-UP ASSESSMENTS

During the 3 month foster period, the social worker will conduct follow-ups to assess the progress of the child in the new family.The follow-up schedule is as follows:

· 1st Follow-Up – one month after discharge of the baby. Done from the LANS office.

· 2nd Follow-Up – Two months after the discharge of the baby. Also conducted at the LANS office.

· 3rd Follow-Up – Three months after discharge of the baby. It MUST be conducted at the applicants home – to observe the adjustment of the child in the home environment. Then a Final Report is complied.


Note: The relevant home will also conduct their independent follow-ups on agreed intervals e.g. two weekly, monthly, etc. Please consult the home on this.



N - LEGAL PROCESS

The legal process should commence immediately after the 3 month foster period. For this process you will need:

i. A Lawyer – to represent you in court. The lawyer’s fees vary depending on the lawyer you choose.

ii. Guardian ad Litem – to protect the best interest of the child during the adoption proceedings. Preferably a social worker, though a friend can also act as thus. The guardian ad litem must do a report and file it in court.

iii. Declaration from a Registered Adoption Society – for this purpose, the society’s social worker will make a visit to your home.

iv. Report from the Children’s Department (Ministry of Home Affairs) – a Children’s Officer will conduct a Home Study and file a report in court.

Note: The legal process varies in time depending on the court schedule, the advocate you engage, and sometimes how fast the above mentioned reports are done and filed in court. On average it takes from 4 to 6 months.

You should not make any arrangements to travel outside of the country with the child until the adoption/guardianship order has been granted by the court. LANS does not support such travel, and it is against the law.

Custody; It must be clearly understood that the child is in the legal custody of the relevant home until the Guardian ad Litem is appointed. The applicant therefore has no legal claim over the child until the High Court of Kenya has granted the Adoption/Guardian order.

If you do not comply with the above procedures, the child may be withdrawn from you and returned to the relevant home.

Counseling 101

Good morning everyone!!

So our counselor’s meeting yesterday was quite interesting… for a start, each time I called to get directions to the place, I got a different answer. So I had James (our driver/personal assistant/friend) call. So we go to the place he was told… it’s on the “first floor”, meaning the second floor (buildings start with a “ground floor” here). Had to climb up this little tiny staircase – narrower than what you have in your own house, let me tell you! And there was no parking outside, so Meer couldn’t stay and “drive” with Uncle Jimmy (his favorite pastime!). So there we were – I’m huffing up the stairs first – having to side step people coming down all the time, with a toddler in my arms and on uneven slippery tile stairs…. Uneven slippery DIRTY tile stairs! Ha ha ha!! Kush is behind us - yelling (- oh. I mean "talking"!) on his mobile ohone the whole way! Anyway – we get up there, and find that is the MAIN OFFICE. The counseling offices are ACROSS THE ROAD on the THIRD FLOOR of a different building. Sigh.

And yes – by this time we are already 10 minutes late!

So we cross the road – still no parking, so Kush grabs Meer and off we go – marching up another four flights of stairs. Luckily these stairs were a normal width, and had those open bricks on the one main wall – so there was fresh air, and it was almost pleasant!

So we get to the top, and an askari (guard) opens this grill gate thing for us. Kush asks him if the security is ok, and the guy smiles and says (in Swahilli), “Yes it is not bad.” To which we all laugh – because why would they have a security gate at the top of a staircase if the security was GOOD??? (***Tracey – this is the part of town where the orphanages are… kinda yucky as in no green trees, and lots of litter and dirty concrete)

Anyway – we go inside and are waiting to meet “Violet” – she is the head of the counseling department, apparently. We are a good 15 minutes late by now, and Kush has a meeting scheduled in 45 minutes. I had lied and told him it would take an hour – our social worker said it was less than 30 minutes, so I figured I was safe with doubling it.
Turns out we had to wait about 10 minutes for Violet to show up, and by this time Kush had a slight lather to him- looking at his watch constantly and a bit of tension showing up in the face… ya know what I mean?? Well – for those who know him – it worth a quick chuckle!!

So we go into this room with this middle aged African Lady… we sit down. Kush takes Meer and feeds him some puffed wheat. Violet hands me this three page form to fill out – which I do immediately. As I am doing it she explains to us that the meeting will take between one and one and a half HOURS, and that we can talk about anything, blah, blah, blah. I am not looking, but I can FEEL Kush clench up!! So I mention (as I am fillign out a form at the speed of light!!) that Kush has a meeting, and we were told the session would only last 30 minutes – so if we could do the short version – I would appreciate it. Violet agreed, and commented that she had seen Kush look at his watch about 20 times since entering the room! So I was relieved, but then we sat in silence while I worked at the form! I was like… uh….

Eventually I broke the ice myself, and said, “Hey Hun – do you have any questions about adoption? – I do. What are we supposed to tell the child about her birthmother if her birthmother had thrown her away in a pit latrine? Are we supposed to tell the truth? Or lie? Like when the child asks and is a late teenager or early adult? Do we tell the truth?” So THAT got things going! By this point in time I was following Meer around the room as he investigated everything, and Violet asked me what I would want to know if I was the one that adopted and asking. I had to admit I would rather hear the truth – as an ADULT, that is. Anyway…

We were outta there in about 35 minutes – including the time it took Violet to write us a receipt (so I could put it in Our Future Child’s scrapbook!!!!) All in all it was lovely! We have to go back with our daughter and Meer – so she can see how we are bonding, etc. Got to admit – she was a truly lovely person! Even Kush really liked her! So top snaps to that.

Well – Meer is outside driving around in his Tiny Tikes car with Uncle Jimmy… I had best get out there before Kush has to go to work! Meer freaks when they leave, so I like to have something exciting in the works for the departure – as a distraction.
MUCH loving…