Wow. 2009 is almost over. And yes - how horrible of me to have been silent since APRIL!! I know. I know. Well - better late than never, so here is my politically correct update:
Adoption: It's going "well". Slow, but that is to be expected, I suppose. We completed the 3 month foster period, fought with the directors of the orphanage, made several large donations to the orphanage, and finally the directors managed to "feel comfortable" with relinquishing their authority over Tanaya. The horrifying part is that directors of the orphanage are friends of my parents, and live in the same upper-end neighbourhood that we do. It was just so discouraging. Don't even start me on the issue!! Grr.
After that battle, (and yes - it was!!), we waited an additional five months for our first court date, which was on December 11th. Basically we had to show up at the High Court of Kenya (no - don't picture it like that - Imagine a small office on the set of M.A.S.H. - No. I'm serious - 2 desks shoved in a room with stained curtains, and 4 wooden chairs pushed along the wall for us to sit on! "High Court" my arse!!!) The judge was frail and bored. He held his head in his hands most of the time, and basically just took notes (that were already printed out in front of him - don't ask me!), and acted as rudely as possible. Not that I expected much else - other than a proper COURT ROOM!! Gosh.
Now we are waiting for a meeting at the Child Services something-er-other in February, then a home visit from a government social worker, and then we file for another court date. That could be the last court date - the judge could grant us custody on the spot. Or he could ask for an additional document, and thus an additional court date. Who knows!
The good news is that Tanaya is with us, and has shed off most of her bad habits she acquired at the orphanage!! (thank goodness!!)
Well - more as it happens, I suppose. Thank you all for keeping up with me, and especially to 'anonymous" for the much needed kick in the ass to keep writing!!
Best wishes for a devine 2010...
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
As Time Stands Still...
Well – GOOD NEWS!!! We are bringing home Tanaya Jean on Tuesday morning at 11am!!! It has been a long ordeal, with difficult to obtain documents, and then a further one week delay waiting for the orphanage to process their paperwork, etc. But now it suddenly seems like it was easy and (relatively) quick!! I am sure the big hassle is still yet to come, as we have the three month foster period to complete, and then the Kenyan court system to navigate our way through. But having her home, and giving her a good bath, and lotion massage, and dressing her up in nice new clothes – I can’t wait!!!
Speaking of which… I should make a countdown ticker!!!! Anyway – 3 more sleeps, and we can bring her home… !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Orphanage
So this is a google Earth picture of the orphanage. You can tell by the photo that the courtyard within the building is the only outdoor space the orphanage has. When I get more details, I will post them... ;-)
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Progress. It is??
So I spent the morning chasing around the adoption trail… turns out there isn’t a 3 month old baby girl ANYWHERE!!! The ones born in November are already fostered out to adoptive parents. We even went to a different orphanage on this side of town that had reported having a baby girl, but they also turned out to be 7 months old and 1 year old. So that sucks.
Basically we can have our social worker send our paperwork to New Life Homes – which is when they can be open about the status, gender, and ages of the children they have (although the youngest girl they have is 7 months old). Then basically we wait for baby girls to be brought in, and grow up to 3 months in age. I am hoping they have one that is maybe 4 or 6 weeks old, but from what the social worker said – they don’t.
At least our application is officially DONE, and the letter of approval is being signed today, and sent off to New Life… so we are officially in-line! Who would have thunk it, huh??? 2 million orphans, and not one 3 month old healthy baby girl. UGH!!!
I KNOW it is all in God’s time, and when the right daughter for our family comes along, it will work out perfectly… but still so frustrating to be so close, and yet still have nothing tangible. Sigh…
Basically we can have our social worker send our paperwork to New Life Homes – which is when they can be open about the status, gender, and ages of the children they have (although the youngest girl they have is 7 months old). Then basically we wait for baby girls to be brought in, and grow up to 3 months in age. I am hoping they have one that is maybe 4 or 6 weeks old, but from what the social worker said – they don’t.
At least our application is officially DONE, and the letter of approval is being signed today, and sent off to New Life… so we are officially in-line! Who would have thunk it, huh??? 2 million orphans, and not one 3 month old healthy baby girl. UGH!!!
I KNOW it is all in God’s time, and when the right daughter for our family comes along, it will work out perfectly… but still so frustrating to be so close, and yet still have nothing tangible. Sigh…
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tick....Tock....
The Certificates of Good Conduct (criminal background checks) are ready to be collected from the C.I.D. Finally!! So I should see them tonight when dear hubby get’s home from work – then scan them to make a copy for the adoption scrapbook. Tomorrow I am HOPING to go to Little Angels Network and drop them off in the morning as soon as traffic clears up a little. Then scoot by New Life Home Trust to speak with a social worker about which babies are available at this time, etc.
I am being hopeful that there is a new little angel that is just waiting for us, and will be 3 months old in the middle of April. That is what I am REALLY hoping for!!!
Tomorrow Meer is also 1000 days old!!! Yes – the only reason I would ever have known is that handy little ticker at the side of this page – who knew it would be so useful when I installed it years ago, hey??
So that is that. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting….
I am being hopeful that there is a new little angel that is just waiting for us, and will be 3 months old in the middle of April. That is what I am REALLY hoping for!!!
Tomorrow Meer is also 1000 days old!!! Yes – the only reason I would ever have known is that handy little ticker at the side of this page – who knew it would be so useful when I installed it years ago, hey??
So that is that. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting….
Friday, March 20, 2009
Paperwork...
Mission successful! After waiting for a good hour in the parking lot for someone to arrive, we have gotten our finger prints officially taken, and our applications for Certificates of Good Conduct are due out on Monday. How GREAT is that??? So Tuesday I can go and drop them off at Little Angels Network, and then they can immediately refer us to New Life Homes to select our daughter.
We still do have company coming, and it might still work out best for us to bring her home immediately after returning to Nairobi… I suppose we have to wait and see when exactly we can meet our daughter, and take it from there. All in all, a GREAT day!!!
We still do have company coming, and it might still work out best for us to bring her home immediately after returning to Nairobi… I suppose we have to wait and see when exactly we can meet our daughter, and take it from there. All in all, a GREAT day!!!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Paperwork Update
The update is, we have an appointment at C.I.D. (aka: Kenya’s highest police division, called the Criminal Investigation Department) set for Friday morning. Which means – if all goes quickly, we should have our Certificates of Good Conduct (aka: Kenya’s version of a criminal record check) handed over to Little Angels Network sometime next week.
My GOAL is to have our documents completed and handed over before our friends arrive on the 29th. Then while we are busy around town and on safari, our paperwork can be referred to New Life Home Trust, and we can set up an appointment to “select our child” for as soon as we get back from safari – most likely April 13th or 14th. Then my mom will still have about 10 days to visit her grand daughter at the orphanage, and a couple weeks to help us all adjust to the new addition when we FINALLY get to bring her home!!!
So you know what they say about idle hands...
My GOAL is to have our documents completed and handed over before our friends arrive on the 29th. Then while we are busy around town and on safari, our paperwork can be referred to New Life Home Trust, and we can set up an appointment to “select our child” for as soon as we get back from safari – most likely April 13th or 14th. Then my mom will still have about 10 days to visit her grand daughter at the orphanage, and a couple weeks to help us all adjust to the new addition when we FINALLY get to bring her home!!!
So you know what they say about idle hands...
Monday, March 16, 2009
39 Days Later
Caroline called this morning at 10:42, with the news that the LANS Case Committee sat down last week, and approved our case PENDING the receipt of our Certificates of Good Conduct. SO – that means we are a couple more weeks away from being referred to New Life Homes… which is ok, I guess. I can live with it.
We have guests coming from overseas, so we will be out of Nairobi on Safari from March 30th until April 11th. So as long as we are referred BEFORE we return, I’m ok with it.
The big hold up is that I have never gotten my little plastic "resident card", which is something that we need before I can request a Certificate of Good Conduct from the C.I.D. So that is the jist of it. I have a few ques to line up in, and then we are in the clear. It can take about 2 weeks to get both documents - so 4 weeks in total. Not too keen on waiting that long, but have to wait until tomorrow to see what we can do speed things up. God bless Kenya, hey??? So often the system can work in our favor, and I am hopeful this will be one of those times!!!
So good news, bad news, good news, bad news!!! UGH!!!
We have guests coming from overseas, so we will be out of Nairobi on Safari from March 30th until April 11th. So as long as we are referred BEFORE we return, I’m ok with it.
The big hold up is that I have never gotten my little plastic "resident card", which is something that we need before I can request a Certificate of Good Conduct from the C.I.D. So that is the jist of it. I have a few ques to line up in, and then we are in the clear. It can take about 2 weeks to get both documents - so 4 weeks in total. Not too keen on waiting that long, but have to wait until tomorrow to see what we can do speed things up. God bless Kenya, hey??? So often the system can work in our favor, and I am hopeful this will be one of those times!!!
So good news, bad news, good news, bad news!!! UGH!!!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Baby Options
The minimum age for adoption in Kenya is 6 weeks, but the orphanage we have selected has a strict rule of the minimum age being 3 months old. Their reasoning behind it is half medical, half legal… The medical part is obvious – the health and developmental ability of the children can be assessed quite well by three months of age. The legal part I am a bit more confused about… the social worker at New Life Home Trust explained it to me (twice – shh!), but I didn’t have the courage to keep questioning her until I understood it completely. The jist of it that there is a six week period where the parents can come back and claim the child, or something like that. Or it’s a form that takes 6 weeks to process in the courts? I don’t exactly know – but something like that. Basically New Life Home Trust waits until the health of the child is confirmed, and the legal status of the child is confirmed. Thus the minimum age of 3 months to adopt. (heavy sigh.)
Anyway – they have two baby girls that are around “the right age” to be adopted. One was born on November 4th, and the other on November 26th. Apparently one of my Aunts was born on November 4th!! …she had breast cancer, and passed on a couple years ago. So that is pretty cool… NOT that my Aunt passed on, of course, but that there is a baby waiting to be adopted that was born on her birthday. ;-)
Our other option is to see if any baby girls are available at New Life Home Trust’s orphanage in Mombasa. If there is, we can fly out there and meet them/her, and adopt from there.
Or we can wait until another baby girl becomes 3 months old… I’m not sure how many younger baby girls they have though.
Technically we can also switch orphanages and choose a 6 week old baby girl from somewhere else. I really don’t want to do that, as New Life is the “best” orphanage in Kenya, and I obviously want our daughter to have received the absolute best care and medical attention before we can provide for her ourselves.
Now waiting to be approved is absolute AGONY… I don’t know what else I can paint, remodel, or build, to keep me occupied until we are, but I most certainly will have to keep myself swamped with projects – just to keep my sanity!!
Anyway – they have two baby girls that are around “the right age” to be adopted. One was born on November 4th, and the other on November 26th. Apparently one of my Aunts was born on November 4th!! …she had breast cancer, and passed on a couple years ago. So that is pretty cool… NOT that my Aunt passed on, of course, but that there is a baby waiting to be adopted that was born on her birthday. ;-)
Our other option is to see if any baby girls are available at New Life Home Trust’s orphanage in Mombasa. If there is, we can fly out there and meet them/her, and adopt from there.
Or we can wait until another baby girl becomes 3 months old… I’m not sure how many younger baby girls they have though.
Technically we can also switch orphanages and choose a 6 week old baby girl from somewhere else. I really don’t want to do that, as New Life is the “best” orphanage in Kenya, and I obviously want our daughter to have received the absolute best care and medical attention before we can provide for her ourselves.
Now waiting to be approved is absolute AGONY… I don’t know what else I can paint, remodel, or build, to keep me occupied until we are, but I most certainly will have to keep myself swamped with projects – just to keep my sanity!!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Back on Track
Greetings, everyone!! So - I know. 2009. Life has a way of blurring by, until something triggers a change in our paths... Anyway - good news! We are back on track for adopting a Kenyan baby!!! yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our paperwork and approval has all expired, so we are starting the process all over again... today! My driver is picking up the paperwork just now, and I am hoping that tomorrow he can scoot around to get the various forms filled out and signed. Then we begin the interview process - one joint interview, and then individual ones. And a councelling session as well - always fun! ;-D
Anyway - one step at a time. The good thing is we have been through all this before, so it's not as daunting as it was the first time around. Phew!
Fingers crossed we can get aproved quickly... Last time I think it took about a month - the panel only has one meeting per month, so it's luck of the draw when it comes to how long you have to wait for it. Anyway - SO excited!!
;-D
Our paperwork and approval has all expired, so we are starting the process all over again... today! My driver is picking up the paperwork just now, and I am hoping that tomorrow he can scoot around to get the various forms filled out and signed. Then we begin the interview process - one joint interview, and then individual ones. And a councelling session as well - always fun! ;-D
Anyway - one step at a time. The good thing is we have been through all this before, so it's not as daunting as it was the first time around. Phew!
Fingers crossed we can get aproved quickly... Last time I think it took about a month - the panel only has one meeting per month, so it's luck of the draw when it comes to how long you have to wait for it. Anyway - SO excited!!
;-D
Friday, August 31, 2007
Things Available Locally
Photo Albums – hand made with leather and bone, etc. LOVELY. ($20 - $100 depending on size) A definate MUST HAVE.
Scrapbooks – same thing. Pricey, but worth it. ($60 - $120 depending on style and size)
Leather beaded sandals. Pick your color, pick your style! Great, and like $20 a pair.
Kazuri Beads – fab necklaces, etc. www.kazuribeads.co.uk/ (yes – you can go to the factory!!)
Swim Suit Wraps www.kikoy.com (or great fabric in general to make nursery items!!)
Johnson & Johnson Baby Bath Products
Colgate Toothpaste
Oral B Toothbrushes
Shampoo and Conditioner (Pantene, Organix, Sun Silk, etc)
Body Wash & Lotions (Fa, Dove, etc, plus ones from a healthfood store)
Avent Baby Bottles, Soothers, etc… a bit pricey – but good quality.
Normal Pampers - made in Egypt, very absorbent, but with a thin plastic outer shell.
Bath Towels - grocery stores have them for like $6! Not bad.
Baby Spit Rags - very reasonable - 12 for... $4? But you will need to take a taxi into town to get them - we have a street dedicated to sewing supplies and baby stuff! Imagine.
Baby Flannel Blankets - same thing - cheap ($3), but you have to go into town to get them.
Baby Q-Tips - Septona brand. Cheap, and pretty good. Like - $3 per box of 100.
Baby Board Books - the price is about $10 - $20 canadian per book, but easier than packing heavy things, if you ask me!
Baby Baths – plastic kind with a moulded seat.
Plastic Stuff in general – 2 local companies that produce just about everything for cheap
Medications – pharmacies are cheaper here by far – no prescriptions required.
Vitamins and Healthcare Products - we have two healthfood stores, which carry just about everything these days!
Did I miss anything? Just ask!!
Scrapbooks – same thing. Pricey, but worth it. ($60 - $120 depending on style and size)
Leather beaded sandals. Pick your color, pick your style! Great, and like $20 a pair.
Kazuri Beads – fab necklaces, etc. www.kazuribeads.co.uk/ (yes – you can go to the factory!!)
Swim Suit Wraps www.kikoy.com (or great fabric in general to make nursery items!!)
Johnson & Johnson Baby Bath Products
Colgate Toothpaste
Oral B Toothbrushes
Shampoo and Conditioner (Pantene, Organix, Sun Silk, etc)
Body Wash & Lotions (Fa, Dove, etc, plus ones from a healthfood store)
Avent Baby Bottles, Soothers, etc… a bit pricey – but good quality.
Normal Pampers - made in Egypt, very absorbent, but with a thin plastic outer shell.
Bath Towels - grocery stores have them for like $6! Not bad.
Baby Spit Rags - very reasonable - 12 for... $4? But you will need to take a taxi into town to get them - we have a street dedicated to sewing supplies and baby stuff! Imagine.
Baby Flannel Blankets - same thing - cheap ($3), but you have to go into town to get them.
Baby Q-Tips - Septona brand. Cheap, and pretty good. Like - $3 per box of 100.
Baby Board Books - the price is about $10 - $20 canadian per book, but easier than packing heavy things, if you ask me!
Baby Baths – plastic kind with a moulded seat.
Plastic Stuff in general – 2 local companies that produce just about everything for cheap
Medications – pharmacies are cheaper here by far – no prescriptions required.
Vitamins and Healthcare Products - we have two healthfood stores, which carry just about everything these days!
Did I miss anything? Just ask!!
Things to Bring with You
Face Care
House slippers and/or cozy sox’s (It gets cold inside the house at night)
Deodorant - the best kind you can get here is Nivea... it works in a pinch, but, seriously.
Baby’s Clothes & Shoes - you do NOT want to buy ONE THING locally!! FAR too expensive, and the quality is poor.... well - poor-ISH!
Baby Blankets - same thing - best to bring one with you. Fleece ones here are.. $80 ??
Baby Slings (2 – one for the laundry) www.hotslings.com
Hip Seat Carrier - FABULOUS – best for travelling back home! I am wearing mine in the picture on the right - I wear it ALL the time! Saves the shoulders and back - completely. www.hippychick.com
www.hippychick.com/index.cfm/children/Products.List/category_id/65
Concentrated Tylenol Infant Drops I would bring a lot – like 6 or 12 bottles. (they’re small!!)
Fancy Thermometer (IF you have one – no biggie. Normal ones are cheap here.)
Baby Toys… Discovery Toys – Rattles, and “Stacktivities” (they are great and light weight)
Clamp-On High Chair – great for restaurants, and at your apartment or hotel.
Stroller… optional, but you can if you like. I use the hipseat instead. Easier. People carry your shopping for you here – so a stroller can be a bit of a hassle, if you ask me.
Travel cot/playpen/crib combo – might be handy for your child to sleep in, etc.
Car Seat – another pain in the ass. I wouldn’t bother… oops! Not to be a bad mother! But in a dirty taxi, I would rather hold the kid and get in and out faster. It’s up to you, though.
Playtex Baby Bottles - or whatever feeding system you prefer. You can get Avent brand here.
Pampers Active Fit - these are my favorite. Super thin, super absorbent (12 hours plus), and have a breathable fabric feeling outer shell. When you can find them here, they are $30 - $40 per pack of 32. (ouch!!) I use them during the night, and on outings.
Stickers for Scrapbooking – if you are doing the scrapbook thing! Can’t get jack here.
House slippers and/or cozy sox’s (It gets cold inside the house at night)
Deodorant - the best kind you can get here is Nivea... it works in a pinch, but, seriously.
Baby’s Clothes & Shoes - you do NOT want to buy ONE THING locally!! FAR too expensive, and the quality is poor.... well - poor-ISH!
Baby Blankets - same thing - best to bring one with you. Fleece ones here are.. $80 ??
Baby Slings (2 – one for the laundry) www.hotslings.com
Hip Seat Carrier - FABULOUS – best for travelling back home! I am wearing mine in the picture on the right - I wear it ALL the time! Saves the shoulders and back - completely. www.hippychick.com
www.hippychick.com/index.cfm/children/Products.List/category_id/65
Concentrated Tylenol Infant Drops I would bring a lot – like 6 or 12 bottles. (they’re small!!)
Fancy Thermometer (IF you have one – no biggie. Normal ones are cheap here.)
Baby Toys… Discovery Toys – Rattles, and “Stacktivities” (they are great and light weight)
Clamp-On High Chair – great for restaurants, and at your apartment or hotel.
Stroller… optional, but you can if you like. I use the hipseat instead. Easier. People carry your shopping for you here – so a stroller can be a bit of a hassle, if you ask me.
Travel cot/playpen/crib combo – might be handy for your child to sleep in, etc.
Car Seat – another pain in the ass. I wouldn’t bother… oops! Not to be a bad mother! But in a dirty taxi, I would rather hold the kid and get in and out faster. It’s up to you, though.
Playtex Baby Bottles - or whatever feeding system you prefer. You can get Avent brand here.
Pampers Active Fit - these are my favorite. Super thin, super absorbent (12 hours plus), and have a breathable fabric feeling outer shell. When you can find them here, they are $30 - $40 per pack of 32. (ouch!!) I use them during the night, and on outings.
Stickers for Scrapbooking – if you are doing the scrapbook thing! Can’t get jack here.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Lifebooks - Activites for Waiting Parents
* Prior to your trip, compose a list of questions about your child’s early life.
* Emphasize questions relating to her background, such as when she came to the orphanage or foster home and who took care of her there, rather than her routine (such as her sleep schedule, which will be disrupted anyway).
* Try to anticipate the questions your child may have in the future.
* Talk with other adoptive parents about information they or their children wish they had.
* Exercising cultural sensitivity, gather as much relevant information for your child during your trip as you are able. Is it possible for you to visit your child’s birthfamily, foster parents, people who cared for your child—or your child’s birthplace?
* While traveling, when you’re in between trips to court or to the consulate, awake at night, or waiting for a plane, write it all down!
* Emphasize questions relating to her background, such as when she came to the orphanage or foster home and who took care of her there, rather than her routine (such as her sleep schedule, which will be disrupted anyway).
* Try to anticipate the questions your child may have in the future.
* Talk with other adoptive parents about information they or their children wish they had.
* Exercising cultural sensitivity, gather as much relevant information for your child during your trip as you are able. Is it possible for you to visit your child’s birthfamily, foster parents, people who cared for your child—or your child’s birthplace?
* While traveling, when you’re in between trips to court or to the consulate, awake at night, or waiting for a plane, write it all down!
Lifebooks - What to Include
What do you imagine your child will wish to know about her earliest days, months, or years? Even though you probably don’t have the answers to all—or even some—of these questions, it’s helpful to keep them in mind.
1. Who gave birth to me?
2. Why couldn’t my birthparents raise me?
3. How and when did I get from my birthparents to the orphanage, foster parents, or other caretakers?
4. Who gave me my name?
5. What type of area or community did I live in?
6. What did my home look like? Did I share a room, crib, or bed?
7. With whom did I live? Who took care of me? What were their names?
8. What was my life like? What was my daily routine? What was my general health? What skills had I developed? Did I have any special friends? What were my favorite toys or foods? Do you know someone who may have photos or additional information about my early life?
9. Why was I not adopted sooner? (Your child was older.)
10. Where and how was my special need diagnosed? What special services or help, if any, did I receive?
11. Is my medical condition common in my country of origin?
12. Do I have biologically related siblings?
13. Did my birthparents die?
For more information, clic on the title of this post, or the following link (it's the same):
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=350
1. Who gave birth to me?
2. Why couldn’t my birthparents raise me?
3. How and when did I get from my birthparents to the orphanage, foster parents, or other caretakers?
4. Who gave me my name?
5. What type of area or community did I live in?
6. What did my home look like? Did I share a room, crib, or bed?
7. With whom did I live? Who took care of me? What were their names?
8. What was my life like? What was my daily routine? What was my general health? What skills had I developed? Did I have any special friends? What were my favorite toys or foods? Do you know someone who may have photos or additional information about my early life?
9. Why was I not adopted sooner? (Your child was older.)
10. Where and how was my special need diagnosed? What special services or help, if any, did I receive?
11. Is my medical condition common in my country of origin?
12. Do I have biologically related siblings?
13. Did my birthparents die?
For more information, clic on the title of this post, or the following link (it's the same):
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=350
Lifebooks - The Time to Start is Now
Here we go again - click on the title to view the original document I stole (see author info at the end of the post) this from - I think this whole Lifebook thing is just SO important... ;-D
Good news for waiting families: pre-placement is a perfect time to start the lifebook process. Before children arrive, parents will have time - a luxury not often enjoyed once children are at home! Use that time to;
*keep a journal
*pay attention to non-critical information
*maintain alertness to the 'warm fuzzies'
*gather information by examining history and interviewing people involved in the placement.
Keeping a journal, says Massachusetts' ODS Adoption Community of New England, Inc., Executive Director Joan Clark, helps both process your own emotions and record vital pieces of information. Journaling permits us to rely on our experiences instead of our occasionally spotty memories. The adoption process can be lengthy and stressful, not unlike pregnancy. Holding on to an assortment of events, names, and hard and soft facts is next to impossible when you can't remember where you put the car keys some days. If you keep a journal, that journal will always be available for review.
Another way to start is by simply maintaining attentiveness. This is related to keeping a journal, because sometimes connections between events aren't made right away. Parents may receive pieces of information that don't fit neatly together. Only over time, after repeated exposure, do the pieces of the puzzle suggest where they might fit. In addition, synchronicity (unusual coincidence) seems to pop up a great deal in the adoption world. Sometimes these connections just call out, "This is unbelievable!" Reviewing a journal can help facilitate making these connections - but first we have to be sure we're paying attention to the details.
"A couple adopting from Russia was planning to follow their religious tradition of naming their new baby after a grandmother who had passed on... Often people choose either the first name or the first initial, which was M in this instance. When they received the referral papers, the baby's first name already started with M, and she was born the same day that the grandmother died." - as told to ODS Community NE Executive Director Joan Clark, adoptive mother.
These stories contribute to family history and honor a spiritual dimension. They enhance the 'legend' quality of the adoption story, giving children a sense that this was always meant to be. This sense may enhance positive feeling and help with acceptance of adoptive-family values once the teen years arrive!
A third way to start the lifebook process is to maintain alertness to 'warm fuzzies,' which are pieces of personal, family-oriented information that are not typically part of the official record. Waiting parents can be more sensitive to warm fuzzy facts as they engage in such pursuits as travel to birth countries, meetings with birthparents to discuss open adoption, or receipt of foster care placement information. As you move through the adoption process, developing lifebook 'antenna' for cute items and other tidbits will help you collect the stories your child will cherish.
One of the best times to soak up information - the fourth means of beginning a lifebook - is prior to placement. Once placement occurs, then the initial attachment period sets in. Sometimes this period isn't compatible with examining your child's birth history, placement history, or the reason s/he became available for adoption. (This is why it's best for foster children to be placed in adoptive homes with up-to-date lifebooks.) I often find that after placement it takes 12-18 months before the lifebook journey can be resumed.
Before placement occurs, search out those pieces of information that will turn to gold in the teen years, even during young adulthood. As the 'lifebook detective,' see this search as Job #1! The information you uncover will help lay the cornerstones of your new family's foundation.
Often, as a child becomes older, s/he will have numerous questions about the pre-placement period or birth family history. These might be as simple as, "What was the name of my favorite staff member at the orphanage?" or direct and complicated, such as, "Is my birth mother still alive?" During adolescence and early adulthood, adoption information takes on great significance.
Personally, I always hated doctor visits, when I had to say I knew nothing about my medical history. Medical information can be difficult to obtain, yet few things are as necessary to have. Pieces that may be just as vital to track down are nuggets like the birthmother's favorite childhood games. Try to interview people who had contact with birth family members. Treat the orphanage staff as extended birth family. Get quotes about your child, the full name of the person quoted, and photos.
Open adoption? Don't be shy - find out as much as possible about the birthfather, his childhood interests, talents, nationality, personality traits, favorite things. Do the same for the birthmother.
Treat each opportunity as if it were the last, because you simply never know what the future might bring. Lifebook information comes to you via official documents, your recollections and experiences, and the results of paying attention to new types of information.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Beth O'Malley, speaker, and author of "LifeBooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child", "My Foster Care Journey", and "For When I'm Famous: A Teen Foster/Adoption LifeBook", is a former foster baby, and has worked over 18 years as a social worker. She is married and lives on the ocean outside of Boston. She can be reached at 1.800.469.9666 or lifebooks@earthlink.net or her Web site, www.adoptionlifebooks.com.
Good news for waiting families: pre-placement is a perfect time to start the lifebook process. Before children arrive, parents will have time - a luxury not often enjoyed once children are at home! Use that time to;
*keep a journal
*pay attention to non-critical information
*maintain alertness to the 'warm fuzzies'
*gather information by examining history and interviewing people involved in the placement.
Keeping a journal, says Massachusetts' ODS Adoption Community of New England, Inc., Executive Director Joan Clark, helps both process your own emotions and record vital pieces of information. Journaling permits us to rely on our experiences instead of our occasionally spotty memories. The adoption process can be lengthy and stressful, not unlike pregnancy. Holding on to an assortment of events, names, and hard and soft facts is next to impossible when you can't remember where you put the car keys some days. If you keep a journal, that journal will always be available for review.
Another way to start is by simply maintaining attentiveness. This is related to keeping a journal, because sometimes connections between events aren't made right away. Parents may receive pieces of information that don't fit neatly together. Only over time, after repeated exposure, do the pieces of the puzzle suggest where they might fit. In addition, synchronicity (unusual coincidence) seems to pop up a great deal in the adoption world. Sometimes these connections just call out, "This is unbelievable!" Reviewing a journal can help facilitate making these connections - but first we have to be sure we're paying attention to the details.
"A couple adopting from Russia was planning to follow their religious tradition of naming their new baby after a grandmother who had passed on... Often people choose either the first name or the first initial, which was M in this instance. When they received the referral papers, the baby's first name already started with M, and she was born the same day that the grandmother died." - as told to ODS Community NE Executive Director Joan Clark, adoptive mother.
These stories contribute to family history and honor a spiritual dimension. They enhance the 'legend' quality of the adoption story, giving children a sense that this was always meant to be. This sense may enhance positive feeling and help with acceptance of adoptive-family values once the teen years arrive!
A third way to start the lifebook process is to maintain alertness to 'warm fuzzies,' which are pieces of personal, family-oriented information that are not typically part of the official record. Waiting parents can be more sensitive to warm fuzzy facts as they engage in such pursuits as travel to birth countries, meetings with birthparents to discuss open adoption, or receipt of foster care placement information. As you move through the adoption process, developing lifebook 'antenna' for cute items and other tidbits will help you collect the stories your child will cherish.
One of the best times to soak up information - the fourth means of beginning a lifebook - is prior to placement. Once placement occurs, then the initial attachment period sets in. Sometimes this period isn't compatible with examining your child's birth history, placement history, or the reason s/he became available for adoption. (This is why it's best for foster children to be placed in adoptive homes with up-to-date lifebooks.) I often find that after placement it takes 12-18 months before the lifebook journey can be resumed.
Before placement occurs, search out those pieces of information that will turn to gold in the teen years, even during young adulthood. As the 'lifebook detective,' see this search as Job #1! The information you uncover will help lay the cornerstones of your new family's foundation.
Often, as a child becomes older, s/he will have numerous questions about the pre-placement period or birth family history. These might be as simple as, "What was the name of my favorite staff member at the orphanage?" or direct and complicated, such as, "Is my birth mother still alive?" During adolescence and early adulthood, adoption information takes on great significance.
Personally, I always hated doctor visits, when I had to say I knew nothing about my medical history. Medical information can be difficult to obtain, yet few things are as necessary to have. Pieces that may be just as vital to track down are nuggets like the birthmother's favorite childhood games. Try to interview people who had contact with birth family members. Treat the orphanage staff as extended birth family. Get quotes about your child, the full name of the person quoted, and photos.
Open adoption? Don't be shy - find out as much as possible about the birthfather, his childhood interests, talents, nationality, personality traits, favorite things. Do the same for the birthmother.
Treat each opportunity as if it were the last, because you simply never know what the future might bring. Lifebook information comes to you via official documents, your recollections and experiences, and the results of paying attention to new types of information.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Beth O'Malley, speaker, and author of "LifeBooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child", "My Foster Care Journey", and "For When I'm Famous: A Teen Foster/Adoption LifeBook", is a former foster baby, and has worked over 18 years as a social worker. She is married and lives on the ocean outside of Boston. She can be reached at 1.800.469.9666 or lifebooks@earthlink.net or her Web site, www.adoptionlifebooks.com.
Lifebooks - Every Adopted Child Needs One
Yes - Yes - I have CHEATED, and cut and pasted this from a fabulous site on the net! (See Author infor at the end of the post) The link to the site is available by clicking on the title of this post...
And also- I have begun our daughter's lifebook already - with a complete copy of the paperwork, letters, forms, photos, and then a series of letters we wrote to her - kept in matchy-matchy envelopes, and glued into the lifebook for her to open and read when she is older. It is important for me to at least try as hard as I personally can - to make sure ALL our children KNOW they were wanted and loved - even before they were born. I am hoping that starting a Lifebook early will provide the same reassurance that a pregnacy journal does. ANYWAY - enough blabbering from me! Read on...
Information is gold when you are adopted. Every tiny piece is precious, whether it's a photo or quote from the orphanage staff. LifeBooks help put all the information pieces together in a way that helps your child make sense of, and ultimately feel good, about his/her history.
People often ask me, "What is a LifeBook?" I respond, "It's the best gift you can ever give an adopted child. A LifeBook is a record of an adoptee's life that uses words, photos, your child's artwork, computer graphics, and memorabilia."
But it's more than a life story. It is a unique opportunity for parents to honor every minute of their child's life. A LifeBook is an adoption security blanket. It makes talking about adoption feel like everyday conversation. Putting your child's life story on paper is such a simple concept. Who would have guessed that the benefits are countless?
"My daughter's LifeBook only brought us closer and increased her trust in me." - Mary McGuire, adoptive mom of seven- year-old Cassie, adopted from China.
Yes, the concept is simple. Is a LifeBook therefore easy to write? Maybe, maybe not.
The stories and photos abound once a child enters his/her family. (How many boxes of pictures do you have stored away?) But that's not the child's beginning. Imagine a picture of someone that gets cut off at the knees. This is what it feels like not to have or to discuss your history. Adoptees end up with a floating or numb sensation with no roots to attach to. I should know. I spent my first five months in foster care before being adopted. I listened carefully to the silences around adoption during my childhood.
Some families are reluctant to consider a LifeBook. We have no information - how can we write when we know nothing? ¨ There are now a number of creative ways to work with little or no information. Ironically, it becomes even more critical for the child with little biographical data to have a LifeBook. Just because a child doesn't talk about it¨ doesn't mean s/he isn't thinking about the other parts of his/her life. Often it's that pre-photo period that adoptees crave to know more about.
It's that sense of missing pieces that can affect attachment or concentration for adopted children. LifeBooks can fill in the missing pieces with words, artwork, and photos, if available. The words will create pictures when none exist.
"My Mother is a social worker who now uses LifeBooks in her work. I wish LifeBooks were available 22 years ago. Maybe I wouldn't have so many unanswered questions." - Kate, age 22, adult adoptee from Colombia, herself a new social worker.
Adopted children often have secret thoughts about why they were adopted. Many believe that somehow they are responsible for the separation from their birth family. At the age of six I decided that my birth parents died in a plane crash in Africa. I didn't tell a soul. Then I changed the story. It was always death. It's the power of magical thinking. LifeBooks help reduce magical thinking and fantasy. They free up an adoptee to pay better attention in school. Or to be more available to focus on talents and interests. Better for a child to be out playing soccer or painting a picture than to be fantasizing endlessly about what happened.¨
If your child comes from another country, be aware that it's important to discuss the country's conditions and/or rules for adoptions. Often this is the only explanation a child has as to why s/he was placed. LifeBooks are the ultimate teaching tool and they can save hours of therapy later in life.
Remind your children of the ways they are connected to their adoptive family, despite not looking like you. This may be in the form of similar voice patterns, talents, food choices or interests. It took me 45 years to figure out that I got my dry sense of humor from my adoptive father. (OK, so I was a little slow.) Never assume that your child doesn't want to be reminded of these connections often. They bear repeating.
In his/her story, make your child the star and celebrate both their resiliency and survival.
"Sara's Story: What better way to welcome her than by preparing and preserving her history with a LifeBook?" - Mimi Robins, adoptive grandmother of 4 year-old-old Sara, from China.
Help your children to feel proud of their own strengths and the strengths of their birth parents. As Corinne Rayburn, LCSW, LMFT, Co-Director of the Center For Family Connections says, "Birth families are like inlaws: you didn't pick them but have to [accept] them."¨ If you don't have any information, then look to your child's talents and wonder if perhaps they got their artistic talents from that unknown birth father.
The Birthparent Page of a LifeBook really helps out with those tough adolescent years when identity issues begin to peak. The more your child knows, the more that s/he will feel "real".
Some would argue, "Our family is very open and always talks about adoption, so why write it down?" Because a book that you and your child can pick up and hold gives the adoptee control over his/her own story. A child can look at it when the urge hits, without having to ask. It becomes symbolic for adoption discussion.
"Mama read me my LifeBook," or "Where's my LifeBook, I want to show it to my friend." The older a child gets, the more tools a family needs to communicate on adoption issues.
If you are starting to think that LifeBooks are very powerful, you may be wondering where to begin. Here are a few suggestions from Dr. Vera Fahlberg, national adoption expert:
· Start with the child's birth; (Or during the adoption process if you are freaky like me!!)
· Always discuss the birth mother and birth father (even if you know nothing, say that you don't know);
· Talk about the reason for separation from the biological family.
I like to include the original birth certificate (if available). This official record always fascinates children of any age. Court papers or official records will suffice if no birth certificate is available.
Once you have laid the foundation with birth history, then add the fun part, the time when they joined your family. Don't get caught up in creating the "perfect" LifeBook. LifeBooks become worn and torn and more beautiful with age. The only real mistake you can make is never to begin. The ultimate MAGIC to creating a treasured LifeBook is to start it, work on it as a family, and give it your child. Even if it only has five pages, it is tangible proof to your child that s/he is precious enough to deserve this treasure.
See??? Couldn NOT have said it better myself!! Hope you are inspired...
;-D
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Beth O'Malley, speaker, and author of "LifeBooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child", "My Foster Care Journey", and "For When I'm Famous: A Teen Foster/Adoption LifeBook", is a former foster baby, and has worked over 18 years as a social worker. She is married and lives on the ocean outside of Boston. She can be reached at 1.800.469.9666 or lifebooks@earthlink.net or her Web site, www.adoptionlifebooks.com.
And also- I have begun our daughter's lifebook already - with a complete copy of the paperwork, letters, forms, photos, and then a series of letters we wrote to her - kept in matchy-matchy envelopes, and glued into the lifebook for her to open and read when she is older. It is important for me to at least try as hard as I personally can - to make sure ALL our children KNOW they were wanted and loved - even before they were born. I am hoping that starting a Lifebook early will provide the same reassurance that a pregnacy journal does. ANYWAY - enough blabbering from me! Read on...
Information is gold when you are adopted. Every tiny piece is precious, whether it's a photo or quote from the orphanage staff. LifeBooks help put all the information pieces together in a way that helps your child make sense of, and ultimately feel good, about his/her history.
People often ask me, "What is a LifeBook?" I respond, "It's the best gift you can ever give an adopted child. A LifeBook is a record of an adoptee's life that uses words, photos, your child's artwork, computer graphics, and memorabilia."
But it's more than a life story. It is a unique opportunity for parents to honor every minute of their child's life. A LifeBook is an adoption security blanket. It makes talking about adoption feel like everyday conversation. Putting your child's life story on paper is such a simple concept. Who would have guessed that the benefits are countless?
"My daughter's LifeBook only brought us closer and increased her trust in me." - Mary McGuire, adoptive mom of seven- year-old Cassie, adopted from China.
Yes, the concept is simple. Is a LifeBook therefore easy to write? Maybe, maybe not.
The stories and photos abound once a child enters his/her family. (How many boxes of pictures do you have stored away?) But that's not the child's beginning. Imagine a picture of someone that gets cut off at the knees. This is what it feels like not to have or to discuss your history. Adoptees end up with a floating or numb sensation with no roots to attach to. I should know. I spent my first five months in foster care before being adopted. I listened carefully to the silences around adoption during my childhood.
Some families are reluctant to consider a LifeBook. We have no information - how can we write when we know nothing? ¨ There are now a number of creative ways to work with little or no information. Ironically, it becomes even more critical for the child with little biographical data to have a LifeBook. Just because a child doesn't talk about it¨ doesn't mean s/he isn't thinking about the other parts of his/her life. Often it's that pre-photo period that adoptees crave to know more about.
It's that sense of missing pieces that can affect attachment or concentration for adopted children. LifeBooks can fill in the missing pieces with words, artwork, and photos, if available. The words will create pictures when none exist.
"My Mother is a social worker who now uses LifeBooks in her work. I wish LifeBooks were available 22 years ago. Maybe I wouldn't have so many unanswered questions." - Kate, age 22, adult adoptee from Colombia, herself a new social worker.
Adopted children often have secret thoughts about why they were adopted. Many believe that somehow they are responsible for the separation from their birth family. At the age of six I decided that my birth parents died in a plane crash in Africa. I didn't tell a soul. Then I changed the story. It was always death. It's the power of magical thinking. LifeBooks help reduce magical thinking and fantasy. They free up an adoptee to pay better attention in school. Or to be more available to focus on talents and interests. Better for a child to be out playing soccer or painting a picture than to be fantasizing endlessly about what happened.¨
If your child comes from another country, be aware that it's important to discuss the country's conditions and/or rules for adoptions. Often this is the only explanation a child has as to why s/he was placed. LifeBooks are the ultimate teaching tool and they can save hours of therapy later in life.
Remind your children of the ways they are connected to their adoptive family, despite not looking like you. This may be in the form of similar voice patterns, talents, food choices or interests. It took me 45 years to figure out that I got my dry sense of humor from my adoptive father. (OK, so I was a little slow.) Never assume that your child doesn't want to be reminded of these connections often. They bear repeating.
In his/her story, make your child the star and celebrate both their resiliency and survival.
"Sara's Story: What better way to welcome her than by preparing and preserving her history with a LifeBook?" - Mimi Robins, adoptive grandmother of 4 year-old-old Sara, from China.
Help your children to feel proud of their own strengths and the strengths of their birth parents. As Corinne Rayburn, LCSW, LMFT, Co-Director of the Center For Family Connections says, "Birth families are like inlaws: you didn't pick them but have to [accept] them."¨ If you don't have any information, then look to your child's talents and wonder if perhaps they got their artistic talents from that unknown birth father.
The Birthparent Page of a LifeBook really helps out with those tough adolescent years when identity issues begin to peak. The more your child knows, the more that s/he will feel "real".
Some would argue, "Our family is very open and always talks about adoption, so why write it down?" Because a book that you and your child can pick up and hold gives the adoptee control over his/her own story. A child can look at it when the urge hits, without having to ask. It becomes symbolic for adoption discussion.
"Mama read me my LifeBook," or "Where's my LifeBook, I want to show it to my friend." The older a child gets, the more tools a family needs to communicate on adoption issues.
If you are starting to think that LifeBooks are very powerful, you may be wondering where to begin. Here are a few suggestions from Dr. Vera Fahlberg, national adoption expert:
· Start with the child's birth; (Or during the adoption process if you are freaky like me!!)
· Always discuss the birth mother and birth father (even if you know nothing, say that you don't know);
· Talk about the reason for separation from the biological family.
I like to include the original birth certificate (if available). This official record always fascinates children of any age. Court papers or official records will suffice if no birth certificate is available.
Once you have laid the foundation with birth history, then add the fun part, the time when they joined your family. Don't get caught up in creating the "perfect" LifeBook. LifeBooks become worn and torn and more beautiful with age. The only real mistake you can make is never to begin. The ultimate MAGIC to creating a treasured LifeBook is to start it, work on it as a family, and give it your child. Even if it only has five pages, it is tangible proof to your child that s/he is precious enough to deserve this treasure.
See??? Couldn NOT have said it better myself!! Hope you are inspired...
;-D
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Beth O'Malley, speaker, and author of "LifeBooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child", "My Foster Care Journey", and "For When I'm Famous: A Teen Foster/Adoption LifeBook", is a former foster baby, and has worked over 18 years as a social worker. She is married and lives on the ocean outside of Boston. She can be reached at 1.800.469.9666 or lifebooks@earthlink.net or her Web site, www.adoptionlifebooks.com.
Lifebooks - Amazing Resources
Beth O'Malley's Website:
http://www.adoptionlifebooks.com/ This site, created by Beth O’Malley, author of Lifebooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child (Adoption-Works, 2000), includes articles and tips on creating lifebooks, links to other useful Web sites, a schedule of lifebook workshops and conferences around the country, and a “Lifebook Shoppe” offering workbooks designed for different age groups and situations. Parents of older children, be sure to check out For When I’m Famous, a very hip lifebook designed expressly for teens.
Smile Box:
http://www.smilebox.com/designTypes/scrapbooks.jsp?partner=google&campaign=search_scrapbook This is the coolest thing I have found in... MONTHS! Free scrapbooking software, so you can print cute stuff out on your own printer! Phew! It's like a scrapbooking photoshop. Free for 14 days, and then... $24?? Something like that. LOVE it!!
Scrap and Tell:
http://www.scrapandtell.com/ Adoption scrapbook/lifebook supplies and information, wide selection of goodies, samples of actual page layouts, articles etc
Sticker Planet:
http://www.stickerplanet.com/1 800 –557-8678 call for a catalog. Aren’t stickers fun? You can find kid stickers for Multicultural and Caucasian children—they have them all!!
Scrapbook Addicts:
http://www.scrapbookaddict.com/ Excellent one stop website for materials, on-line scrapbooking lessons, chat rooms as well as links to other resources. Readers rate how well they like different albums, books etc.
Life Preserves:
http://www.lifepreserves.com/ Here you’ll find lifebooks as well as memory albums and scrapbooks designed for all sorts of blended families, from adoptive and foster to step-families.
Adopt Shop:
www.adoptshoppe.com/lifebooks.htm Books about lifebooking and albums to help you get started. Don’t miss the Hold on Tight to Your Dream series of memory books customized for children adopted domestically and in various countries abroad.
Caroline’s Collection:
http://www.carolinescollection.com/ Lifebook and scrapbook embellishments with adoption and multicultural themes, handcrafted by a mom who got hooked after creating a lifebook for her son, adopted in Guatemala.
Time Capsule Website:
http://dmarie.com/timecap/step1.asp Discover what happened the day you were born. Headlines, toys, movies, or even famous people born on same date. Free
Day of Birth:
http://www.dayofbirth.co.uk/ Learn what day of the week you were born on. Discover how many days until your next birthday, how many seconds old you are. Plus other links. Free
Behind the Name:
http://www.behindthename.com/ Want to know what a name means? From anywhere in the world? This unique site has articles, tools and links helpful for any family.no charge
Birthday Weather:
http://www.wunderground.com/ Find the weather for any state or country. If you want weather for a historical date i.e. your child’s birthday, Go to that country/city you want, enter that date Free
History Channel: This day in history:
.http://www.historychannel.com/tdih/ Categories include general interest, entertainment, old west, technology. Not all kid friendly but lots of potential. Free
All about Flags:
http://www.crwflags.com/fotw/flags/index.html Excellent site. Information and flags from all over the world.
Interested in finding a map? Google it.
Go to http://www.goggle.com/ and type in“ maps—name of country or state/province” There are many sites which have downloadable maps, geography facts, etc.. Very helpful tool for showing where children are born and where they live now.
http://www.adoptionlifebooks.com/ This site, created by Beth O’Malley, author of Lifebooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child (Adoption-Works, 2000), includes articles and tips on creating lifebooks, links to other useful Web sites, a schedule of lifebook workshops and conferences around the country, and a “Lifebook Shoppe” offering workbooks designed for different age groups and situations. Parents of older children, be sure to check out For When I’m Famous, a very hip lifebook designed expressly for teens.
Smile Box:
http://www.smilebox.com/designTypes/scrapbooks.jsp?partner=google&campaign=search_scrapbook This is the coolest thing I have found in... MONTHS! Free scrapbooking software, so you can print cute stuff out on your own printer! Phew! It's like a scrapbooking photoshop. Free for 14 days, and then... $24?? Something like that. LOVE it!!
Picaboo:
http://www.picaboo.com/?cm=gn&ad=ap&cp=NA&md=web&siteID=g9qnrsyyLdQ-udvaHC1_BSAj5qrM4I1mJg This is super cool too! It is a free downloadable program that helps you create a professionally published Lifebook. You write the words, pic the pictures, and the company publishes it for you! Looks super nice. Pricing is $75 for a hardcover (linen) 20 page book. A suede leather cover is an additional $10, and each extra page is $3.
Scrap and Tell:
http://www.scrapandtell.com/ Adoption scrapbook/lifebook supplies and information, wide selection of goodies, samples of actual page layouts, articles etc
Sticker Planet:
http://www.stickerplanet.com/1 800 –557-8678 call for a catalog. Aren’t stickers fun? You can find kid stickers for Multicultural and Caucasian children—they have them all!!
Scrapbook Addicts:
http://www.scrapbookaddict.com/ Excellent one stop website for materials, on-line scrapbooking lessons, chat rooms as well as links to other resources. Readers rate how well they like different albums, books etc.
Life Preserves:
http://www.lifepreserves.com/ Here you’ll find lifebooks as well as memory albums and scrapbooks designed for all sorts of blended families, from adoptive and foster to step-families.
Adopt Shop:
www.adoptshoppe.com/lifebooks.htm Books about lifebooking and albums to help you get started. Don’t miss the Hold on Tight to Your Dream series of memory books customized for children adopted domestically and in various countries abroad.
Caroline’s Collection:
http://www.carolinescollection.com/ Lifebook and scrapbook embellishments with adoption and multicultural themes, handcrafted by a mom who got hooked after creating a lifebook for her son, adopted in Guatemala.
Time Capsule Website:
http://dmarie.com/timecap/step1.asp Discover what happened the day you were born. Headlines, toys, movies, or even famous people born on same date. Free
Day of Birth:
http://www.dayofbirth.co.uk/ Learn what day of the week you were born on. Discover how many days until your next birthday, how many seconds old you are. Plus other links. Free
Behind the Name:
http://www.behindthename.com/ Want to know what a name means? From anywhere in the world? This unique site has articles, tools and links helpful for any family.no charge
Birthday Weather:
http://www.wunderground.com/ Find the weather for any state or country. If you want weather for a historical date i.e. your child’s birthday, Go to that country/city you want, enter that date Free
History Channel: This day in history:
.http://www.historychannel.com/tdih/ Categories include general interest, entertainment, old west, technology. Not all kid friendly but lots of potential. Free
All about Flags:
http://www.crwflags.com/fotw/flags/index.html Excellent site. Information and flags from all over the world.
Interested in finding a map? Google it.
Go to http://www.goggle.com/ and type in“ maps—name of country or state/province” There are many sites which have downloadable maps, geography facts, etc.. Very helpful tool for showing where children are born and where they live now.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Breaking News...
Kush was home from work “early” today (before 6pm, at least!) so we ate some food with Meer, and then as we were getting ready to take Meer out for one last spin in his car, Kush got a phone call and went into the living room to take it. Meer and I carried on our way out the door. Kush caught up with us within a minute, and had two cereal bars in his hands. He hands me a bar, and tells me to open it – he had good news!
So we both open our bars, and began walking and pushing Meer in his car…
Kush was like, “We’ve been approved.” And I was like – “What? By WHO?” (yes – completely oblivious!), and then he was like, “To adopt a child!”!!!
WhooOooOoOOooOOooOOoo HOOOOOOOOO!
I think it was a phone call from New Life Home orphanage – I saw a missed call from tehm on my phone. But then like – the ORPHANAGE calls to tell us we are approved? Not our social worker??? I am a bit confused about that part. And that we were to go on MONDAY to select a child??? Something like that.
Which has spun us into another dilemma, because Kush has upcoming work abroad, so have to wait a bit before we can actually select a child… once we have found our daughter – we can’t leave her behind!! Ya know? And our daughter cannot leave Kenya until her passport and adoption is finalized… a slight pain in the ass, but nothing unexpected.
So the jist of it, we are waiting until about December or January to go and find our daughter… but somehow now that we are APPROVED, it is more painful to wait. I dunno. It’s hard to explain. But then again – I was giving Meer his bath tonight, and was thinking – I can do this for TWO kids at once??? I can still be a great mom to Meer AND another infant?? Suddenly I can see why parents tend to wait for 2 or 3 years between children!! Maybe it is just a slap of reality hitting me…
Anyway – off to bed! Just had to share the good news as soon as possible!
Many blessings…
So we both open our bars, and began walking and pushing Meer in his car…
Kush was like, “We’ve been approved.” And I was like – “What? By WHO?” (yes – completely oblivious!), and then he was like, “To adopt a child!”!!!
WhooOooOoOOooOOooOOoo HOOOOOOOOO!
I think it was a phone call from New Life Home orphanage – I saw a missed call from tehm on my phone. But then like – the ORPHANAGE calls to tell us we are approved? Not our social worker??? I am a bit confused about that part. And that we were to go on MONDAY to select a child??? Something like that.
Which has spun us into another dilemma, because Kush has upcoming work abroad, so have to wait a bit before we can actually select a child… once we have found our daughter – we can’t leave her behind!! Ya know? And our daughter cannot leave Kenya until her passport and adoption is finalized… a slight pain in the ass, but nothing unexpected.
So the jist of it, we are waiting until about December or January to go and find our daughter… but somehow now that we are APPROVED, it is more painful to wait. I dunno. It’s hard to explain. But then again – I was giving Meer his bath tonight, and was thinking – I can do this for TWO kids at once??? I can still be a great mom to Meer AND another infant?? Suddenly I can see why parents tend to wait for 2 or 3 years between children!! Maybe it is just a slap of reality hitting me…
Anyway – off to bed! Just had to share the good news as soon as possible!
Many blessings…
Friday, August 17, 2007
Adoption - Some Inspiration
Well – deciding to do it is the hardest part. There is a lot of inspiration available – all you have to do is visit an orphanage once, and you will be touched so deeply you will suddenly find adoption in your heart.
Before we went, I had it in my head I would have to adopt an infant - the younger the better. But after visiting with the children, I knew it was in me to adopt a toddler! Who would have thunk it. After speaking with our pediatrician though, we have decided to maintain the birth order for Meer, and will be adopting a child younger than he is. Aparently it is easier for them to bond if the oldest stays the oldest, etc. Makes sense, really.
Anyway - the above picture was taken by my Mom, at an orphanage called New Life Home Trust. (You can check out their web page by clicking on the title of this post.) The home cares for up to 50 babies, all of which were HIV+ and abandoned at birth. When we were there they had 47 babies. The babies are taken in between 0 – 3 months old, and then moved on to other homes when they reach the age of 3. Some are adopted, but as one of the workers told us, only about 10 per year. This is a bit confusing when you compare it to the stats on the website (which says most children are adopted or fostered), so I think that means lots of children become fostered, but not actually adopted. I should also add that 70% of them are HIV negative by the age of about 4 months old.
The orphanage is run in a quite large house – three separate wings/stories for the different ages; 0-1, 1-2, and 2-3. The home is VERY clean, and they have a lot of volunteers from all over the world that come to play with the children, and help with feedings, etc. There is a doctor’s office within the home, where pediatricians come on a volunteer basis to provide healthcare for the children. There is also an isolation nursery where the very young stay when they first arrive. There were 9 newborns there when we visited. They are in isolation to protect them from germs while they fight off the HIV virus.
All in all it is a really good place. I highly recommend you to snoop around their website – they have some stories of the individual babies that are really touching.
Anyway – I hope you are inpired! ;-D
Before we went, I had it in my head I would have to adopt an infant - the younger the better. But after visiting with the children, I knew it was in me to adopt a toddler! Who would have thunk it. After speaking with our pediatrician though, we have decided to maintain the birth order for Meer, and will be adopting a child younger than he is. Aparently it is easier for them to bond if the oldest stays the oldest, etc. Makes sense, really.
Anyway - the above picture was taken by my Mom, at an orphanage called New Life Home Trust. (You can check out their web page by clicking on the title of this post.) The home cares for up to 50 babies, all of which were HIV+ and abandoned at birth. When we were there they had 47 babies. The babies are taken in between 0 – 3 months old, and then moved on to other homes when they reach the age of 3. Some are adopted, but as one of the workers told us, only about 10 per year. This is a bit confusing when you compare it to the stats on the website (which says most children are adopted or fostered), so I think that means lots of children become fostered, but not actually adopted. I should also add that 70% of them are HIV negative by the age of about 4 months old.
The orphanage is run in a quite large house – three separate wings/stories for the different ages; 0-1, 1-2, and 2-3. The home is VERY clean, and they have a lot of volunteers from all over the world that come to play with the children, and help with feedings, etc. There is a doctor’s office within the home, where pediatricians come on a volunteer basis to provide healthcare for the children. There is also an isolation nursery where the very young stay when they first arrive. There were 9 newborns there when we visited. They are in isolation to protect them from germs while they fight off the HIV virus.
All in all it is a really good place. I highly recommend you to snoop around their website – they have some stories of the individual babies that are really touching.
Anyway – I hope you are inpired! ;-D
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