It started out with detailed pages of questions to ask the caretakers at the orphanage - our social worker - our lawyer. It ended up a wonderful story book based on a format of 2 pictures per page (just printed straight from the computer) with a text box between them. I used Microsoft Publisher, but I imagine the same can be accomplished in Word if you were savy enough!
I started by thinking of Tanaya's life - from the day she was born onward. I started with the weather on that day (check my other lifebook posts for helpful links - I think it was weatherunder.com, but don't quote me!!), and also sent someone to the "hospital" where she was born to take as many pictures as they could. Photography at the hospital is illegal, but I did manage to get a photo on a mobile phone from the doorway of the maternity ward where she spent the first 4 days of her life with her birth mother!! It's a lousy quality picture, but I was elated about it!! I also made a page about her birth mother - the name she used to sign into the hospital, and used clip art to make two pages about how she grew inside her birth mother - just like every other child has. I did, however, not refer to her birth mother as "birth mother". I used the Swahili version, which is Mama Mzazi. I wanted to avoid as much confusion for her as possible, and having two "mothers" certainly can be confusing!
I collected, scanned, and photocopied each document the orphanage had for her - all on different colored papers so it looks a bit more official. I included each and every paper I could find that was linked to her - anything with her name on it is proudly displayed on pages in her lifebook.
From there I embarked on a chronological photo journey of her life, starting at the orphanage. We took pictures of the outside, and then added a scanned photo of her at the orphanage on the day she arrived. I took pictures of her caretakers, and the lady who chose her and brought her to the orphanage. Pictures of her crib-mates, the other children at the orphanage, her bedroom, and the bedroom of the older children at the orphanage (one bedroom for 1 dozen girls, one bedroom for a dozen boys - 4 kids per bunk bed!) I took pictures of the kitchen, and the children eating. Where they played, and what they did for fun. The best thing I did was to remove a small piece of painted concrete from the door frame of her bedroom, complete with a DVD of me doing it, and photos of it for her lifebook!! Apparently having something to touch from her life before us is helpful for her when she gets older. They suggest a stone or something from the garden, but to be honest - it wasn't safe enough to leave the orphanage unless making a straight line for the car!!
I made a few pages from mapping the orpahange on Google Earth, as well as some shots taken on the fly while driving through the dodgy neighbourhood she lived in.
I added as many pages of our visits as possible, along with a picture of each of her visitors. I bought a dozen greeting cards from the grocery store and gave them to the staff at the orphanage to write in about a week before we were allowed to bring Tanaya home. The one or two people that cared enough to write something in them was worth gold!! I scanned them - front/back and inside, and then printed them off 4 per page, and added them to her lifebook.
For the day she came home, we added pictures of everyone who came to collect her, and copies of the foster care agreement, etc. We have a wonderful picture of Meer touching her for the first time (although we missed the one of her licking her face after I asked him is she was sweet! DARN!!) We have pictures of me carrying her and our son out of the orphanage, driving home, and then of course of Meer "carrying" her into the house and introducing her to our staff. Those are the most priceless pictures, let me tell you!! SWEET!
The next pages are of her routine at the orphanage, and her new routine at home.
We included lots of pictures of her in the first few days in our family - each new visitor, as well as where she slept, where she bathed, where she drank her bottles, ate her food, etc. I also took pictures of her in a sling out shopping with me!!
The best part is recording what people said about her. I took all the comments from her photos on Facebook and made pages of quotes - each one with a different font and different color - and documenting who said it and where they were from. We were lucky enough o get three pages of quotes from around the world!!
Next we also wrote her cards, scanned them, printed them off 4 per page, and added them to her lifebook.
To be honest, that is as far as I have gotten. The bones are there, and the hard part is done. But now I have to keep up with it, and finish off the last of her first year!
Oh - and I should explain my chosen format. I went for the binder version with page protectors. I printed out each page on MS Publisher, and then trimmed it down by an inch on each side. Then glued it onto luster board (fancy glittery card stock that comes in a multitude of fabulous colors and finishes) - one color for each section. That way I can add to it, subtract from it, print it again - it's flexible and absolutely non-committal. ;-D
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
2009 Update
Wow. 2009 is almost over. And yes - how horrible of me to have been silent since APRIL!! I know. I know. Well - better late than never, so here is my politically correct update:
Adoption: It's going "well". Slow, but that is to be expected, I suppose. We completed the 3 month foster period, fought with the directors of the orphanage, made several large donations to the orphanage, and finally the directors managed to "feel comfortable" with relinquishing their authority over Tanaya. The horrifying part is that directors of the orphanage are friends of my parents, and live in the same upper-end neighbourhood that we do. It was just so discouraging. Don't even start me on the issue!! Grr.
After that battle, (and yes - it was!!), we waited an additional five months for our first court date, which was on December 11th. Basically we had to show up at the High Court of Kenya (no - don't picture it like that - Imagine a small office on the set of M.A.S.H. - No. I'm serious - 2 desks shoved in a room with stained curtains, and 4 wooden chairs pushed along the wall for us to sit on! "High Court" my arse!!!) The judge was frail and bored. He held his head in his hands most of the time, and basically just took notes (that were already printed out in front of him - don't ask me!), and acted as rudely as possible. Not that I expected much else - other than a proper COURT ROOM!! Gosh.
Now we are waiting for a meeting at the Child Services something-er-other in February, then a home visit from a government social worker, and then we file for another court date. That could be the last court date - the judge could grant us custody on the spot. Or he could ask for an additional document, and thus an additional court date. Who knows!
The good news is that Tanaya is with us, and has shed off most of her bad habits she acquired at the orphanage!! (thank goodness!!)
Well - more as it happens, I suppose. Thank you all for keeping up with me, and especially to 'anonymous" for the much needed kick in the ass to keep writing!!
Best wishes for a devine 2010...
Adoption: It's going "well". Slow, but that is to be expected, I suppose. We completed the 3 month foster period, fought with the directors of the orphanage, made several large donations to the orphanage, and finally the directors managed to "feel comfortable" with relinquishing their authority over Tanaya. The horrifying part is that directors of the orphanage are friends of my parents, and live in the same upper-end neighbourhood that we do. It was just so discouraging. Don't even start me on the issue!! Grr.
After that battle, (and yes - it was!!), we waited an additional five months for our first court date, which was on December 11th. Basically we had to show up at the High Court of Kenya (no - don't picture it like that - Imagine a small office on the set of M.A.S.H. - No. I'm serious - 2 desks shoved in a room with stained curtains, and 4 wooden chairs pushed along the wall for us to sit on! "High Court" my arse!!!) The judge was frail and bored. He held his head in his hands most of the time, and basically just took notes (that were already printed out in front of him - don't ask me!), and acted as rudely as possible. Not that I expected much else - other than a proper COURT ROOM!! Gosh.
Now we are waiting for a meeting at the Child Services something-er-other in February, then a home visit from a government social worker, and then we file for another court date. That could be the last court date - the judge could grant us custody on the spot. Or he could ask for an additional document, and thus an additional court date. Who knows!
The good news is that Tanaya is with us, and has shed off most of her bad habits she acquired at the orphanage!! (thank goodness!!)
Well - more as it happens, I suppose. Thank you all for keeping up with me, and especially to 'anonymous" for the much needed kick in the ass to keep writing!!
Best wishes for a devine 2010...
Saturday, April 18, 2009
As Time Stands Still...
Well – GOOD NEWS!!! We are bringing home Tanaya Jean on Tuesday morning at 11am!!! It has been a long ordeal, with difficult to obtain documents, and then a further one week delay waiting for the orphanage to process their paperwork, etc. But now it suddenly seems like it was easy and (relatively) quick!! I am sure the big hassle is still yet to come, as we have the three month foster period to complete, and then the Kenyan court system to navigate our way through. But having her home, and giving her a good bath, and lotion massage, and dressing her up in nice new clothes – I can’t wait!!!
Speaking of which… I should make a countdown ticker!!!! Anyway – 3 more sleeps, and we can bring her home… !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Visit Number Two
So I took my dad and Barb and sister back out to visit Michelle. She was sitting on the floor in her car seat in a room with al the bigger kids playing around – not THAT is one way to keep a kid awake – let me tell ya!! Gee Wiz. Talk about L O U D !!!!!
Anyway – I picked her up, and as soon as she saw me she GRINNED! Yup. And I am not even making it up to make myself feel good!
She was hungry, and kept nuzzling into me and cramming her fist and/or bib into her mouth. We sat together for awhile, and then I was lucky enough to be there to feed her lunch! I was given a plastic cup with a cereal/formula/milk mixture inside, and a spoon. So I started to feed her with the spoon. She was fussing a bit, and spitting out some of the formula. I looked over at the other lady giving Claudia her lunch, and Claudia was sucking nicely from the side of the cup itself. I did the same with Michelle, and sure enough – she just about finished the whole thing!! It was officially my first “cup feed” – something which I didn’t even think was possible until today!
After she was (extremely) full, we changed her diaper into her first Pampers, and she fell asleep in my arms. Sweet little angel. I tucked her into bed, and had to leave… which is harder than it sounds!!
Diaper Delivery
So our sweet little girl Michelle happily wears a folded up towel with a piece of thin plastic pinned around it as a diaper. Now I am sure this is normal practice in rural areas, and I certainly appreciate the practicality of it. But to think that Michelle is OUR DAUGHTER, and sitting in a village with a towel and piece of plastic as a diaper… that is just too far off from the reality of OUR family. Meer always had the best, driest diapers we could find – even if we had to import them ourselves! His sweet tooshie has never even experienced a “Regular Pampers”. So today’s mission is to go to Nakumatt and buy as many diapers as I can for Michelle, Claudia, and Obama. And then drive out to the orphanage to deliver them and visit with Michelle with my dad and Barb. I’m not sure if it will count as a visit as far as the adoption goes, but I think it will. I’m bringing an actual camera, so more pictures are on the way!!!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Orphanage
So this is a google Earth picture of the orphanage. You can tell by the photo that the courtyard within the building is the only outdoor space the orphanage has. When I get more details, I will post them... ;-)
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Progress. It is??
So I spent the morning chasing around the adoption trail… turns out there isn’t a 3 month old baby girl ANYWHERE!!! The ones born in November are already fostered out to adoptive parents. We even went to a different orphanage on this side of town that had reported having a baby girl, but they also turned out to be 7 months old and 1 year old. So that sucks.
Basically we can have our social worker send our paperwork to New Life Homes – which is when they can be open about the status, gender, and ages of the children they have (although the youngest girl they have is 7 months old). Then basically we wait for baby girls to be brought in, and grow up to 3 months in age. I am hoping they have one that is maybe 4 or 6 weeks old, but from what the social worker said – they don’t.
At least our application is officially DONE, and the letter of approval is being signed today, and sent off to New Life… so we are officially in-line! Who would have thunk it, huh??? 2 million orphans, and not one 3 month old healthy baby girl. UGH!!!
I KNOW it is all in God’s time, and when the right daughter for our family comes along, it will work out perfectly… but still so frustrating to be so close, and yet still have nothing tangible. Sigh…
Basically we can have our social worker send our paperwork to New Life Homes – which is when they can be open about the status, gender, and ages of the children they have (although the youngest girl they have is 7 months old). Then basically we wait for baby girls to be brought in, and grow up to 3 months in age. I am hoping they have one that is maybe 4 or 6 weeks old, but from what the social worker said – they don’t.
At least our application is officially DONE, and the letter of approval is being signed today, and sent off to New Life… so we are officially in-line! Who would have thunk it, huh??? 2 million orphans, and not one 3 month old healthy baby girl. UGH!!!
I KNOW it is all in God’s time, and when the right daughter for our family comes along, it will work out perfectly… but still so frustrating to be so close, and yet still have nothing tangible. Sigh…
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tick....Tock....
The Certificates of Good Conduct (criminal background checks) are ready to be collected from the C.I.D. Finally!! So I should see them tonight when dear hubby get’s home from work – then scan them to make a copy for the adoption scrapbook. Tomorrow I am HOPING to go to Little Angels Network and drop them off in the morning as soon as traffic clears up a little. Then scoot by New Life Home Trust to speak with a social worker about which babies are available at this time, etc.
I am being hopeful that there is a new little angel that is just waiting for us, and will be 3 months old in the middle of April. That is what I am REALLY hoping for!!!
Tomorrow Meer is also 1000 days old!!! Yes – the only reason I would ever have known is that handy little ticker at the side of this page – who knew it would be so useful when I installed it years ago, hey??
So that is that. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting….
I am being hopeful that there is a new little angel that is just waiting for us, and will be 3 months old in the middle of April. That is what I am REALLY hoping for!!!
Tomorrow Meer is also 1000 days old!!! Yes – the only reason I would ever have known is that handy little ticker at the side of this page – who knew it would be so useful when I installed it years ago, hey??
So that is that. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting….
Friday, March 20, 2009
Paperwork...
Mission successful! After waiting for a good hour in the parking lot for someone to arrive, we have gotten our finger prints officially taken, and our applications for Certificates of Good Conduct are due out on Monday. How GREAT is that??? So Tuesday I can go and drop them off at Little Angels Network, and then they can immediately refer us to New Life Homes to select our daughter.
We still do have company coming, and it might still work out best for us to bring her home immediately after returning to Nairobi… I suppose we have to wait and see when exactly we can meet our daughter, and take it from there. All in all, a GREAT day!!!
We still do have company coming, and it might still work out best for us to bring her home immediately after returning to Nairobi… I suppose we have to wait and see when exactly we can meet our daughter, and take it from there. All in all, a GREAT day!!!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Paperwork Update
The update is, we have an appointment at C.I.D. (aka: Kenya’s highest police division, called the Criminal Investigation Department) set for Friday morning. Which means – if all goes quickly, we should have our Certificates of Good Conduct (aka: Kenya’s version of a criminal record check) handed over to Little Angels Network sometime next week.
My GOAL is to have our documents completed and handed over before our friends arrive on the 29th. Then while we are busy around town and on safari, our paperwork can be referred to New Life Home Trust, and we can set up an appointment to “select our child” for as soon as we get back from safari – most likely April 13th or 14th. Then my mom will still have about 10 days to visit her grand daughter at the orphanage, and a couple weeks to help us all adjust to the new addition when we FINALLY get to bring her home!!!
So you know what they say about idle hands...
My GOAL is to have our documents completed and handed over before our friends arrive on the 29th. Then while we are busy around town and on safari, our paperwork can be referred to New Life Home Trust, and we can set up an appointment to “select our child” for as soon as we get back from safari – most likely April 13th or 14th. Then my mom will still have about 10 days to visit her grand daughter at the orphanage, and a couple weeks to help us all adjust to the new addition when we FINALLY get to bring her home!!!
So you know what they say about idle hands...
Pink Baby Blanket
Until all the paperwork and WAITING is over, I am hell bent on keeping busy! I found this stellar wool last weekend when I was trolling for sewing notions on Biashara street. It was all together too expensive, but when I saw the pink with GREEN flecks in it – who could resist?? I could only afford 2 balls at the time, so am making the smallest blanket that is still usable, with the intention of edging it with a crochet pattern of some sort to increase the size once I know how big it will finally be, etc.
I started with 100 stitches across, and then a border of 10 knit stitch on each end of the rows – to make a border of some sort.
I was leery to start purling, but turns out I am faster at that than I am at knitting! Who knew!!
Now all I have to do is get this house put back together, and then I will have a chance at getting it all done before life gets too busy again… fingers crossed for that one!!!
Monday, March 16, 2009
39 Days Later
Caroline called this morning at 10:42, with the news that the LANS Case Committee sat down last week, and approved our case PENDING the receipt of our Certificates of Good Conduct. SO – that means we are a couple more weeks away from being referred to New Life Homes… which is ok, I guess. I can live with it.
We have guests coming from overseas, so we will be out of Nairobi on Safari from March 30th until April 11th. So as long as we are referred BEFORE we return, I’m ok with it.
The big hold up is that I have never gotten my little plastic "resident card", which is something that we need before I can request a Certificate of Good Conduct from the C.I.D. So that is the jist of it. I have a few ques to line up in, and then we are in the clear. It can take about 2 weeks to get both documents - so 4 weeks in total. Not too keen on waiting that long, but have to wait until tomorrow to see what we can do speed things up. God bless Kenya, hey??? So often the system can work in our favor, and I am hopeful this will be one of those times!!!
So good news, bad news, good news, bad news!!! UGH!!!
We have guests coming from overseas, so we will be out of Nairobi on Safari from March 30th until April 11th. So as long as we are referred BEFORE we return, I’m ok with it.
The big hold up is that I have never gotten my little plastic "resident card", which is something that we need before I can request a Certificate of Good Conduct from the C.I.D. So that is the jist of it. I have a few ques to line up in, and then we are in the clear. It can take about 2 weeks to get both documents - so 4 weeks in total. Not too keen on waiting that long, but have to wait until tomorrow to see what we can do speed things up. God bless Kenya, hey??? So often the system can work in our favor, and I am hopeful this will be one of those times!!!
So good news, bad news, good news, bad news!!! UGH!!!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Caroline Calls...
Ok. I’m annoyed. Well – half annoyed. On a good note, we got a phone call from Caroline. On a bad note, she requires some more documentation from us. So that sucks. She says the LANS meeting has yet to be set, and just basically requires these certificates of good conduct. Yeah. So now I have to get on that, and keep waiting… I guess! Gee wiz.
Monday, March 02, 2009
Week One of Waiting
Still waiting. Have managed to keep very busy around the house… made new shelving units for the bathrooms, and am now filling my Gran’s old dining room hutch with all my sewing bits and pieces! It’s a bigger job than it sounds… have bought every matching storage container Nakumatt has to offer! Everything is organized by type ant then color – with all my thread now officially in one drawer! That’s a first!
Spend 3 days online getting our daughter’s clothing ordered from Please Mum in Canada. My mom is coming over to help when we get the baby, and is willing to lug everything over with her – so that is a fabulous thing! Then my friend Chad is hitting this big sale in a couple weeks time to get all the missing bits – can NOT wait for that one! She is coming over for a visit with her family at the very end of March, so that will work out perfectly well too. (SO excited!!)
Other than that, I’m just trying to keep busy and stay productive. In the dust cloud of my massive cleaning attempts, I found my stash of powder pink alpaca wool… it’s screaming for em to sit on my butt and knit, but I somehow doubt I will be finding the time for a that anytime soon… also found the half knit blue alpaca wool blanket I started for Meer when I was still pregnant, so enough said about that!!! Ha ha ha!! One year, though… one year!!
Went to a different Nakumatt this morning and found a couple more sets of storage containers for the “craft hutch”… off to see how I can get my massive inventory of Velcro to fit inside and look pretty… dare I say it’s the last items that need to find a home in the hutch! Day number three though – it certainly didn’t happen over night!!
Spend 3 days online getting our daughter’s clothing ordered from Please Mum in Canada. My mom is coming over to help when we get the baby, and is willing to lug everything over with her – so that is a fabulous thing! Then my friend Chad is hitting this big sale in a couple weeks time to get all the missing bits – can NOT wait for that one! She is coming over for a visit with her family at the very end of March, so that will work out perfectly well too. (SO excited!!)
Other than that, I’m just trying to keep busy and stay productive. In the dust cloud of my massive cleaning attempts, I found my stash of powder pink alpaca wool… it’s screaming for em to sit on my butt and knit, but I somehow doubt I will be finding the time for a that anytime soon… also found the half knit blue alpaca wool blanket I started for Meer when I was still pregnant, so enough said about that!!! Ha ha ha!! One year, though… one year!!
Went to a different Nakumatt this morning and found a couple more sets of storage containers for the “craft hutch”… off to see how I can get my massive inventory of Velcro to fit inside and look pretty… dare I say it’s the last items that need to find a home in the hutch! Day number three though – it certainly didn’t happen over night!!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Home Visit Completed!!
Oh my goodness. Where to even begin. Well, it took all of about 7 minutes. She came in and asked to be toured around the house... which I did. She said it was "very nice". Her main concern was how many people lived in the house, and where the baby would be sleeping. She took notes on teh back of a folded piece of paper, and that was about it.
On the way out to her car I asked her when the LANS Case Committee would be meeting. I don't know if it is just the standard answer, or the truth, but she said it could be between 2 and 3 WEEKS. (GASP!!!) I have been asking her everytime I see her about when the next LANS meeting will be, and she always says "It is not set yet". But when I first went into Little Angels Network, I asked another gal, and she said that adoption had increased in Kenya since the first time we applied, and that the case committee was meeting TWICE A MONTH. So I just don't know. Being out of control of the situation just SUCKS!!!
Anyway - I'm completely bummed out... although slightly cheery that the house looks so great! Imagine. But I still just want to hop into bed and watch bad movies on teh Hallmark channel until... sometime in March!!! Ah - so annoying....
On the way out to her car I asked her when the LANS Case Committee would be meeting. I don't know if it is just the standard answer, or the truth, but she said it could be between 2 and 3 WEEKS. (GASP!!!) I have been asking her everytime I see her about when the next LANS meeting will be, and she always says "It is not set yet". But when I first went into Little Angels Network, I asked another gal, and she said that adoption had increased in Kenya since the first time we applied, and that the case committee was meeting TWICE A MONTH. So I just don't know. Being out of control of the situation just SUCKS!!!
Anyway - I'm completely bummed out... although slightly cheery that the house looks so great! Imagine. But I still just want to hop into bed and watch bad movies on teh Hallmark channel until... sometime in March!!! Ah - so annoying....
Waiting...
2 1/2 hours until the Home Visit.
The house is in fine shape - dare I say even clean, attractive, and fabulous!! Other than washing the dog prints off the front porch, and putting out teh new welcome Mat - we are golden!!
Now I just need time to pass quickly, so I can start another project and make a mess! ha ha ha!!
The house is in fine shape - dare I say even clean, attractive, and fabulous!! Other than washing the dog prints off the front porch, and putting out teh new welcome Mat - we are golden!!
Now I just need time to pass quickly, so I can start another project and make a mess! ha ha ha!!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Baby Options
The minimum age for adoption in Kenya is 6 weeks, but the orphanage we have selected has a strict rule of the minimum age being 3 months old. Their reasoning behind it is half medical, half legal… The medical part is obvious – the health and developmental ability of the children can be assessed quite well by three months of age. The legal part I am a bit more confused about… the social worker at New Life Home Trust explained it to me (twice – shh!), but I didn’t have the courage to keep questioning her until I understood it completely. The jist of it that there is a six week period where the parents can come back and claim the child, or something like that. Or it’s a form that takes 6 weeks to process in the courts? I don’t exactly know – but something like that. Basically New Life Home Trust waits until the health of the child is confirmed, and the legal status of the child is confirmed. Thus the minimum age of 3 months to adopt. (heavy sigh.)
Anyway – they have two baby girls that are around “the right age” to be adopted. One was born on November 4th, and the other on November 26th. Apparently one of my Aunts was born on November 4th!! …she had breast cancer, and passed on a couple years ago. So that is pretty cool… NOT that my Aunt passed on, of course, but that there is a baby waiting to be adopted that was born on her birthday. ;-)
Our other option is to see if any baby girls are available at New Life Home Trust’s orphanage in Mombasa. If there is, we can fly out there and meet them/her, and adopt from there.
Or we can wait until another baby girl becomes 3 months old… I’m not sure how many younger baby girls they have though.
Technically we can also switch orphanages and choose a 6 week old baby girl from somewhere else. I really don’t want to do that, as New Life is the “best” orphanage in Kenya, and I obviously want our daughter to have received the absolute best care and medical attention before we can provide for her ourselves.
Now waiting to be approved is absolute AGONY… I don’t know what else I can paint, remodel, or build, to keep me occupied until we are, but I most certainly will have to keep myself swamped with projects – just to keep my sanity!!
Anyway – they have two baby girls that are around “the right age” to be adopted. One was born on November 4th, and the other on November 26th. Apparently one of my Aunts was born on November 4th!! …she had breast cancer, and passed on a couple years ago. So that is pretty cool… NOT that my Aunt passed on, of course, but that there is a baby waiting to be adopted that was born on her birthday. ;-)
Our other option is to see if any baby girls are available at New Life Home Trust’s orphanage in Mombasa. If there is, we can fly out there and meet them/her, and adopt from there.
Or we can wait until another baby girl becomes 3 months old… I’m not sure how many younger baby girls they have though.
Technically we can also switch orphanages and choose a 6 week old baby girl from somewhere else. I really don’t want to do that, as New Life is the “best” orphanage in Kenya, and I obviously want our daughter to have received the absolute best care and medical attention before we can provide for her ourselves.
Now waiting to be approved is absolute AGONY… I don’t know what else I can paint, remodel, or build, to keep me occupied until we are, but I most certainly will have to keep myself swamped with projects – just to keep my sanity!!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Big Brother Training 101
I have been trying to get Meer used to the idea of having a new baby around the house… I put a teddy bear in a baby carrier sling and walked around the house... The first couple times Meer was quite disturbed by it and would instruct me to take the teddy bear out, and put Meer inside instead!! So I did, and lugged Meer around in a back breaking sling pretending he was my “tiny little baby straight from the hospital”! We have a rule too – “Baby’s don’t talk.” So if he is playing baby – he can’t use any words. That makes the game last only so long, before our Big Boy is back and eager to show us how tall he is! We pretend we are all shocked that a baby could grow up so fast, and everyone has a good laugh.
I have been looking for a “brown” baby doll to use instead of a fuzzy teddy bear, but was unsuccessful until last week, when I found a brown baby doll at a grocery store across town. The quality isn’t there (of course!!), but for the $20 it cost, I think it is still well worth it, if only to get Meer desensitized to the look of a little baby around the house. It’s kind of a cute doll too – it has a squishy body, and cries if it doesn’t have a bottle or pacifier in it's mouth.
Now when Meer is playing, or is engrossed in some activity, we make the baby cry and ask Meer to help us make the baby stop crying. Meer will stop what he is doing right away to come over and instruct me that the baby needs milk, and will push the bottle right into the baby’s mouth and hold it there, and say, “Stop crying baby... it’s OK.” It is SO cute!! Originally the baby used to make a sucking sound, and the bottle would move up and down a bit, but with Meer’s help to feed her, it now just makes a mechanical groaning noise and the bottle doesn’t move one bit. I went back to the grocery store and bought another one – so we have a spare for when this one breaks... which seems inevitable and in our near future!!
About 5 days into the experiment Meer now isn’t possessive of me when the baby is around. He has figured out that the baby is just more work for someone, and this morning even suggested that I hold the baby while it drinks it’s milk instead of putting in it’s bed.
Naturally we applaud him like crazy for being caring towards the doll, and he is really relishing all the praise he gets for being “such a good big brother”!! Here is a picture of Meer the first time he gave the baby doll it's bottle...
I have been looking for a “brown” baby doll to use instead of a fuzzy teddy bear, but was unsuccessful until last week, when I found a brown baby doll at a grocery store across town. The quality isn’t there (of course!!), but for the $20 it cost, I think it is still well worth it, if only to get Meer desensitized to the look of a little baby around the house. It’s kind of a cute doll too – it has a squishy body, and cries if it doesn’t have a bottle or pacifier in it's mouth.
Now when Meer is playing, or is engrossed in some activity, we make the baby cry and ask Meer to help us make the baby stop crying. Meer will stop what he is doing right away to come over and instruct me that the baby needs milk, and will push the bottle right into the baby’s mouth and hold it there, and say, “Stop crying baby... it’s OK.” It is SO cute!! Originally the baby used to make a sucking sound, and the bottle would move up and down a bit, but with Meer’s help to feed her, it now just makes a mechanical groaning noise and the bottle doesn’t move one bit. I went back to the grocery store and bought another one – so we have a spare for when this one breaks... which seems inevitable and in our near future!!
About 5 days into the experiment Meer now isn’t possessive of me when the baby is around. He has figured out that the baby is just more work for someone, and this morning even suggested that I hold the baby while it drinks it’s milk instead of putting in it’s bed.
Naturally we applaud him like crazy for being caring towards the doll, and he is really relishing all the praise he gets for being “such a good big brother”!! Here is a picture of Meer the first time he gave the baby doll it's bottle...
Friday, February 20, 2009
Waiting for the Home Visit
Less than 4 days until the home visit. Not that is matters one bit how “organized” our home is, considering asking if we having flush toilets is the main question on the application!! But regardless, I’m all in a fluff to have it actually functional, and livable, and COMPLETED, before Caroline gets here… at 10:00 Tuesday morning!!
For the past 2 weeks I have actually completely removed and replaced EVERYTHING – with thorough cleaning done in between. Every room in the house now has a purpose that suits our lifestyle (good bye formal dining room), and works for our family. What a freaking CHORE!! I’m at a stage now where the once cleaned and organized garage (I started in there) is now the current dumping ground for boxed that I have low-to-no motivation to unpack… my only concern is how to stack them higher! Ha ha ha!! Yeah. Not joking.
In a perfect world I would have about 2 more bookcases for my books, and a SERIOUS wallunit or “hutch” for my sewing and craft supplies. But until then, the house is pretty much in working order, and even… dare I say… looking pretty good!!
Yesterday I made fresh curtains for the Toy Room – a cute little blue, yellow and red print on a white background. It has made the room super fresh! Today I emptied the “wine cabinet” and converted it into a much needed book case in the new office (was the dining room). Now I am dealing with the last bits of… crap… that seem to be cluttering up the surfaces – particularly in the kitchen! I’m inclined to get a few more empty boxes and just start filling them up and stacking them in the garage!! How horrible of me is that??? Well… I just might do it…
Ok. Off to find the boxes!! ;-)
For the past 2 weeks I have actually completely removed and replaced EVERYTHING – with thorough cleaning done in between. Every room in the house now has a purpose that suits our lifestyle (good bye formal dining room), and works for our family. What a freaking CHORE!! I’m at a stage now where the once cleaned and organized garage (I started in there) is now the current dumping ground for boxed that I have low-to-no motivation to unpack… my only concern is how to stack them higher! Ha ha ha!! Yeah. Not joking.
In a perfect world I would have about 2 more bookcases for my books, and a SERIOUS wallunit or “hutch” for my sewing and craft supplies. But until then, the house is pretty much in working order, and even… dare I say… looking pretty good!!
Yesterday I made fresh curtains for the Toy Room – a cute little blue, yellow and red print on a white background. It has made the room super fresh! Today I emptied the “wine cabinet” and converted it into a much needed book case in the new office (was the dining room). Now I am dealing with the last bits of… crap… that seem to be cluttering up the surfaces – particularly in the kitchen! I’m inclined to get a few more empty boxes and just start filling them up and stacking them in the garage!! How horrible of me is that??? Well… I just might do it…
Ok. Off to find the boxes!! ;-)
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Pre-Adoption Counseling
We had our “Pre-Adoption Counseling” this morning! We met at Little Angels Network, and spoke with a LOVELY lady named of Jane. She was about our age, has a daughter that is six years old that is going to same school that Kush did. Talking to her was more than pleasant! Imagine.
Now I have my Individual Interview on Thursday, and then a Home Visit on Tuesday the 24th. After that all we have to do is wait for the Case Committee to meet and approve us!
Oh yes. So after our counseling, I went to New Life Home Trust to see if I could speak with their social worker. I spoke with a lady by the name of Grace. She was also extremely pleasant and informative. Turns out the minimum age to adopt from New Life Home Trust is three months old. Their reason being 1) the legal rights of the parents being null and void, and also the confirmed health of the child. The BAD NEWS is that they only have TWO baby girls that 3 months old!! Can you imagine? ALL the rest are boys.
Which got me to thinking – every time we are there, it seems like just boys are playing outside. Turns out it is a cultural trend on this side, that has gotten worse in the past few years – most abandoned babies are boys. I told Kasimbi (our houseman) about it on the way home, and he said, “Oh – that is the Luhya’s. A girl cannot marry if she has a boy child.” I was like – “WHAT???” I mean – seriously. It’s 2009. Anyway – it is what it is. We have 2 girls to choose from – one born November 4th, and one born November 26th. NO – I didn’t see them, or anything – we have to wait to be approved first…. Well, I COULD have seen them, but how hard would that be?? To leave a sweet baby there for weeks on end??
Anyway – after we are approved, we go to visit the child 6 times – one of which includes us taking the child to our own pediatrician for a check-up and whatever tests our doctor suggests, etc. Then we bring the baby home! We have to bring her back to the orphanage every two weeks until the legal adoption process starts, and then monthly until we have legally adopted her.
Some babies that have been abandoned at the hospitals have a record of their mother’s name – so that is optimistic! Not that I want to find the woman, or anything, but I imagine it would be reassuring to the child to have a name, at least.
So that’s it!! Waiting until Thursday morning at 9am….
Now I have my Individual Interview on Thursday, and then a Home Visit on Tuesday the 24th. After that all we have to do is wait for the Case Committee to meet and approve us!
Oh yes. So after our counseling, I went to New Life Home Trust to see if I could speak with their social worker. I spoke with a lady by the name of Grace. She was also extremely pleasant and informative. Turns out the minimum age to adopt from New Life Home Trust is three months old. Their reason being 1) the legal rights of the parents being null and void, and also the confirmed health of the child. The BAD NEWS is that they only have TWO baby girls that 3 months old!! Can you imagine? ALL the rest are boys.
Which got me to thinking – every time we are there, it seems like just boys are playing outside. Turns out it is a cultural trend on this side, that has gotten worse in the past few years – most abandoned babies are boys. I told Kasimbi (our houseman) about it on the way home, and he said, “Oh – that is the Luhya’s. A girl cannot marry if she has a boy child.” I was like – “WHAT???” I mean – seriously. It’s 2009. Anyway – it is what it is. We have 2 girls to choose from – one born November 4th, and one born November 26th. NO – I didn’t see them, or anything – we have to wait to be approved first…. Well, I COULD have seen them, but how hard would that be?? To leave a sweet baby there for weeks on end??
Anyway – after we are approved, we go to visit the child 6 times – one of which includes us taking the child to our own pediatrician for a check-up and whatever tests our doctor suggests, etc. Then we bring the baby home! We have to bring her back to the orphanage every two weeks until the legal adoption process starts, and then monthly until we have legally adopted her.
Some babies that have been abandoned at the hospitals have a record of their mother’s name – so that is optimistic! Not that I want to find the woman, or anything, but I imagine it would be reassuring to the child to have a name, at least.
So that’s it!! Waiting until Thursday morning at 9am….
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Joint Interview
We had our Joint Interview this morning! It went well. We met our social worker – Caroline – who is a nice young lady, very polite, etc. Just asked the usual questions about our marriage, how we met, what we expect from our adopted child(?), how our finances are, etc. It took about 45 minutes, and most of it was waiting for Caroline to write down what we had said.
On Tuesday we go for counseling – which is now done at Little Angels Network offices – the same place as our interviews. That is a step up, since the last time we had to drive around a dingy part of town looking for parking, and then wander up a grimy and dirty stairwell to find our counselors office! So the change is definitely a good thing.
Next Thursday I go for my Individual Interview – mostly questions about my own family, and the like. And then the following Tuesday (February 24th), Caroline comes to our house for a “Home Visit”. That is the last of the pre-requisites before our application goes to the LANS Case Committee to be decided upon. (YIPPEE!!)
I’m a bit BUMMED OUT that our appointments are SO spaced out. That sucks. But I am trying to convince myself that even if we had them all done within the next few days, we still might have to wait just as long for the LANS Case Committee to set a meeting date…. Right? Well – let’s see. Fingers crossed!!!
On Tuesday we go for counseling – which is now done at Little Angels Network offices – the same place as our interviews. That is a step up, since the last time we had to drive around a dingy part of town looking for parking, and then wander up a grimy and dirty stairwell to find our counselors office! So the change is definitely a good thing.
Next Thursday I go for my Individual Interview – mostly questions about my own family, and the like. And then the following Tuesday (February 24th), Caroline comes to our house for a “Home Visit”. That is the last of the pre-requisites before our application goes to the LANS Case Committee to be decided upon. (YIPPEE!!)
I’m a bit BUMMED OUT that our appointments are SO spaced out. That sucks. But I am trying to convince myself that even if we had them all done within the next few days, we still might have to wait just as long for the LANS Case Committee to set a meeting date…. Right? Well – let’s see. Fingers crossed!!!
Friday, February 06, 2009
Progress!!!
We handed in our application yesterday, and got a phone call from our new social worker – Caroline – today! Our joint interview is set for Wednesday morning at 9:00!!! Yee haw!! I’m SO thrilled. So that is all good news.
I have been working on the framework of a lifebook… making chapters for the various topics, and then questions that we need to find answers for as our journey progresses. I’ve changed it like 6 times!! I think it is pretty good now – NOT the version I have posted below. I have added a few more chapters (25 in total), and changed the wording to “Your Birth Day”, “Your Birth Parents”, etc. I have a page with questions on it for each topic, which I will keep with us during the entire adoption process – to write down answers, facts, full names, quotes, etc.
I lucked out and found some quite lovely locally produced cardstock to make the actual lifebooks from, and it comes in a variety of colors. I have used the chapter headings to arrange the blank pages in a binder with pager protector sleeves… the idea being I will have a place ready to assemble the lifebook as the story unfolds, with the flexibility to add and remove pages.
Anyway – That is about as far as I have gotten so far.
Oh! And now the LANS Committee meets twice a month to decide over the adoption applications, so we might not have to wait as long to get approved as we did before!! Adoption rates have doubled in Kenya over the past year (fabulous!!), and now about 12 children are adopted through our agency (Little Angels Network) every month. So that is great news, although still quite a small number compared to the vast number of orphans.
;-D
I have been working on the framework of a lifebook… making chapters for the various topics, and then questions that we need to find answers for as our journey progresses. I’ve changed it like 6 times!! I think it is pretty good now – NOT the version I have posted below. I have added a few more chapters (25 in total), and changed the wording to “Your Birth Day”, “Your Birth Parents”, etc. I have a page with questions on it for each topic, which I will keep with us during the entire adoption process – to write down answers, facts, full names, quotes, etc.
I lucked out and found some quite lovely locally produced cardstock to make the actual lifebooks from, and it comes in a variety of colors. I have used the chapter headings to arrange the blank pages in a binder with pager protector sleeves… the idea being I will have a place ready to assemble the lifebook as the story unfolds, with the flexibility to add and remove pages.
Anyway – That is about as far as I have gotten so far.
Oh! And now the LANS Committee meets twice a month to decide over the adoption applications, so we might not have to wait as long to get approved as we did before!! Adoption rates have doubled in Kenya over the past year (fabulous!!), and now about 12 children are adopted through our agency (Little Angels Network) every month. So that is great news, although still quite a small number compared to the vast number of orphans.
;-D
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Lifebook Progress
I am making a "lifebook" for our future adopted child. A Lifebook is like a scrapbook that tells the story of their lives from the time they were born up until they are legally adopted into our family. It answers many of the questions an adopted child would have, is a tool to discussing adoption openly, and gives value to the early part of the child's life.
My goal is to have the framework done – and bound into a spiral book – that I can keep with me during the adoption process and ask and write down as many questions as I can think of... Can you think of any questions and/or topics that would be helpful to YOU, if you had been adopted? Any areas of your early life that would be important later on? The more questions the better, so if you ahve any suggestions, please let me know by commenting below this post.
Here is the framework I have done so far…
The Day I was Born
What date was I born?
Where was I born?
Who helped me?
What was the weather like?
What day of the week was it?
My Birth Parents
What information do we have about my birth mother?
How can we get more information about my birth mother?
What information de we have about my birth father?
How can we get more information about my birth father?
What are the traditions in Kenya for having babies?
Why did my birth parents give me up for adoption?
Did my birth parents love me?
When I Arrived at New Life Home Trust
When did I arrive at New Life Home Trust?
Where did I sleep when I first arrived?
How long did I stay there for?
Are there any pictures of me when I arrived?
Did I cry a lot when I first arrived?
Was I hungry?
Who was the first person to look after me?
My Medical Details
How was my health when I arrived?
How much did I weigh?
How tall was I?
How big was my head?
How was my health after 2 weeks?
How was my health after 1 month?
How was my health before my parents took me home?
Was I HIV Positive when I arrived?
Was I HIV+ when my parents took me home?
My Caretakers & What They Said
Who looked after me during the day?
Who looked after me at night?
Who was my favorite caretaker?
What did my caretakers say about me?
How did my caretakers sooth me when I was upset?.
What are the full names of the caretakers who looked after me?
My Daily Routine
What was my routine at New Life Family Trust?
What was my favorite thing to do?
What was my favorite thing to eat?
What was my favorite toy?
What was my favorite song?
Who was my favorite playmate?
When We First Met
What did you think when you first saw me?
What did you feel when you first saw me?
What did mama say?
What did daddy say?
What was I wearing?
Where was I?
What was I doing?
What did I say or do?
How did you know I belonged in our family?
How long after we met did you bring me home?
Why did it take so long?
Our Visits
How often did you come to see me?.
Was I happy to see you?
Did I know who you were?
What did we do together?
How many visits did we have before I was allowed to come home with you?
Was I sad when you had to leave?
How long did you stay with me on each visit?
Were you sad to leave me behind?
Did my brother come to visit me too?
Did Meer play with me when he visited?
When I Arrived at Home
When did I arrive at home with my parents?
Who came to visit me?
What preparations did my family make for me?
What did my brother think of me coming home?
How did we spend our first day together?
Did I sleep well in my new bed?
Was I scared?
Did I miss my caretakers and friends from New Life Home Trust?
Foster Period
What is a "Foster Period"?How long did the Foster period last?
How did my routine change?
How did my family's routine change?
What did people say when they met me?
When did Meer first show that he loved me?
What did Meer do to show that he loved me?
When did I first show that I loved Meer?
What did I do to show that I loved Meer?
Little Angels
What was the full name of our social worker?
What did he/she say about me?
How many visits did we have?
Where did we meet?
What did mama and daddy do during our visits?
What did I do while the social worker was visiting?
Did I enjoy the visits?
Counseling
What was the full name of our counselor?
What did we discuss during our talks?
How many times did we visit with him/her?
Where did we meet for our talks?
What did I do during our talks?
Did I enjoy our visits with the counselor?
Legal Proceedings
Date, Time, Event, Outcome...
Getting My Passports
When did I get my first Passport?
How old was I when I got my first passport?
What country was my first passport from?
When did I get my second passport?
How old was I when I got my second passport?
What country was my second passport from?
Celebrating My Legal Adoption
How did we celebrate my adoption becoming legal?
What was the date?
What day of the week was it?
What was the weather like?
Who came to share the day?
Did I receive any gifts?
Did I enjoy the party?
What did I do during the party?
What People Said About Me
Date: Name: Comment:
What Matters in a Family
1)
2)
3)
My Name
What is my full name?
What do my names mean?
Who picked my names?
Why did you pick the names you did?
How many names did you choose from?
How did you choose my names?
What was my name at New Life Family Trust?
My Heritage
What tribe am I from?
How can we find out what tribe I am from?
What traditions are important to my people?
What are the traditional rules for having babies?
What are the jobs that a mama would do?
What are the jobs that a daddy would do?
What are the jobs for children to do?
What would they do for fun?
All About Kenya
How old is Kenya?
What people live in Kenya?
What tribe do I come from?
What food do Kenyans eat?
What traditions do Kenyans have?
What are the National Holidays?
How do we celebrate each holiday?
What does a Kenyan person value?
What does a Kenyan person pride the most?
What makes being Kenyan special?
Time Capsule
What was happening in Kenya when I was born?
What was happening in the world when I was born?
Who were the popular actors?
What was the popular music?
What was the price of Milk in Kenya? Canada? USA?
What was the price of petrol in Kenya? Canada? USA?
What was the weather like?
What famous people were born on the same day?
My goal is to have the framework done – and bound into a spiral book – that I can keep with me during the adoption process and ask and write down as many questions as I can think of... Can you think of any questions and/or topics that would be helpful to YOU, if you had been adopted? Any areas of your early life that would be important later on? The more questions the better, so if you ahve any suggestions, please let me know by commenting below this post.
Here is the framework I have done so far…
The Day I was Born
What date was I born?
Where was I born?
Who helped me?
What was the weather like?
What day of the week was it?
My Birth Parents
What information do we have about my birth mother?
How can we get more information about my birth mother?
What information de we have about my birth father?
How can we get more information about my birth father?
What are the traditions in Kenya for having babies?
Why did my birth parents give me up for adoption?
Did my birth parents love me?
When I Arrived at New Life Home Trust
When did I arrive at New Life Home Trust?
Where did I sleep when I first arrived?
How long did I stay there for?
Are there any pictures of me when I arrived?
Did I cry a lot when I first arrived?
Was I hungry?
Who was the first person to look after me?
My Medical Details
How was my health when I arrived?
How much did I weigh?
How tall was I?
How big was my head?
How was my health after 2 weeks?
How was my health after 1 month?
How was my health before my parents took me home?
Was I HIV Positive when I arrived?
Was I HIV+ when my parents took me home?
My Caretakers & What They Said
Who looked after me during the day?
Who looked after me at night?
Who was my favorite caretaker?
What did my caretakers say about me?
How did my caretakers sooth me when I was upset?.
What are the full names of the caretakers who looked after me?
My Daily Routine
What was my routine at New Life Family Trust?
What was my favorite thing to do?
What was my favorite thing to eat?
What was my favorite toy?
What was my favorite song?
Who was my favorite playmate?
When We First Met
What did you think when you first saw me?
What did you feel when you first saw me?
What did mama say?
What did daddy say?
What was I wearing?
Where was I?
What was I doing?
What did I say or do?
How did you know I belonged in our family?
How long after we met did you bring me home?
Why did it take so long?
Our Visits
How often did you come to see me?.
Was I happy to see you?
Did I know who you were?
What did we do together?
How many visits did we have before I was allowed to come home with you?
Was I sad when you had to leave?
How long did you stay with me on each visit?
Were you sad to leave me behind?
Did my brother come to visit me too?
Did Meer play with me when he visited?
When I Arrived at Home
When did I arrive at home with my parents?
Who came to visit me?
What preparations did my family make for me?
What did my brother think of me coming home?
How did we spend our first day together?
Did I sleep well in my new bed?
Was I scared?
Did I miss my caretakers and friends from New Life Home Trust?
Foster Period
What is a "Foster Period"?How long did the Foster period last?
How did my routine change?
How did my family's routine change?
What did people say when they met me?
When did Meer first show that he loved me?
What did Meer do to show that he loved me?
When did I first show that I loved Meer?
What did I do to show that I loved Meer?
Little Angels
What was the full name of our social worker?
What did he/she say about me?
How many visits did we have?
Where did we meet?
What did mama and daddy do during our visits?
What did I do while the social worker was visiting?
Did I enjoy the visits?
Counseling
What was the full name of our counselor?
What did we discuss during our talks?
How many times did we visit with him/her?
Where did we meet for our talks?
What did I do during our talks?
Did I enjoy our visits with the counselor?
Legal Proceedings
Date, Time, Event, Outcome...
Getting My Passports
When did I get my first Passport?
How old was I when I got my first passport?
What country was my first passport from?
When did I get my second passport?
How old was I when I got my second passport?
What country was my second passport from?
Celebrating My Legal Adoption
How did we celebrate my adoption becoming legal?
What was the date?
What day of the week was it?
What was the weather like?
Who came to share the day?
Did I receive any gifts?
Did I enjoy the party?
What did I do during the party?
What People Said About Me
Date: Name: Comment:
What Matters in a Family
1)
2)
3)
My Name
What is my full name?
What do my names mean?
Who picked my names?
Why did you pick the names you did?
How many names did you choose from?
How did you choose my names?
What was my name at New Life Family Trust?
My Heritage
What tribe am I from?
How can we find out what tribe I am from?
What traditions are important to my people?
What are the traditional rules for having babies?
What are the jobs that a mama would do?
What are the jobs that a daddy would do?
What are the jobs for children to do?
What would they do for fun?
All About Kenya
How old is Kenya?
What people live in Kenya?
What tribe do I come from?
What food do Kenyans eat?
What traditions do Kenyans have?
What are the National Holidays?
How do we celebrate each holiday?
What does a Kenyan person value?
What does a Kenyan person pride the most?
What makes being Kenyan special?
Time Capsule
What was happening in Kenya when I was born?
What was happening in the world when I was born?
Who were the popular actors?
What was the popular music?
What was the price of Milk in Kenya? Canada? USA?
What was the price of petrol in Kenya? Canada? USA?
What was the weather like?
What famous people were born on the same day?
Monday, February 02, 2009
Lifebooks: Getting Past the Initial Hurdle
Creating a lifebook may seem like a daunting task, especially when there is not an abundance of information about your child’s life before becoming a part of your family. It is actually easy and fun…once you get past that initial hurdle: "How do I start?"
That question is answered based on how much information you have available. Some adoptive parents (especially with domestic adoptions) have access to volumes of information about their child’s early life and may have a relationship with a birthmother that is very open to sharing intimate details. If you’re in this group, consider yourself lucky! You may be asking the question from the standpoint of how you should organize the wealth of information and myriad of photographs you have at your fingertips!
Other adoptive parents don’t have very much in the way of information or resources at all. For example, in an international adoption, an adoptive parent may not even know the birthmother’s name, the specific date and time or place of a child’s birth or a reason given for the adoption plan. If you fit this category, don’t worry! There are ways to address that lack of information.
For example, one of the most important pages in a lifebook is the one that describes the biological mother. Oftentimes several pages are dedicated to this special person in your child’s life. Ideally, you would have a full-length, high-quality color photo of her, but you may not even have a grainy, black and white facsimile of her profile from the shoulders up! In that case, you could always write something along the lines of:
"Did you know that something in your body called DNA, given to you by your birthparents, is responsible for the features that you have? Your birthmother passed on some of her physical traits to you. Because you have beautiful, light brown, wavy hair, chances are good that your birthmother did too!"
Where the specific date and time or place of a child’s birth is unknown, using maps and historical weather data can provide meaningful content for the lifebook page dealing with the child’s birth. Let’s say, for instance, that you don’t know the exact date and time of birth. One way to address this is to say:
"We think you were born during the summer of 2002 because the orphanage director said that when you came to the orphanage, you were about the same size as other children that were born then. And, although we don’t know the specific day, summers in Moscow are typically rather mild, about 70 degrees. I’ll bet the sun was shining extra bright on the day you were born."
If you don’t have specifics on the place of birth but want to give a good reference point, download a map from the internet that shows a town or region where your child was likely born, including landmarks or topography, if possible. Kids love maps!
Something else kids love is devotion. Your devotion to starting (and completing) a lifebook will be very much appreciated by your child. Hopefully this article helps you get past the initial hurdle if you were worried about the lack of material suited to such an important endeavor!
*****Written by Jennifer Demar, adoptive parent of two and owner of www.scrapandtell.com, an online store specializing in adoption scrapbooking supplies and multi-cultural products perfect for lifebooks.
That question is answered based on how much information you have available. Some adoptive parents (especially with domestic adoptions) have access to volumes of information about their child’s early life and may have a relationship with a birthmother that is very open to sharing intimate details. If you’re in this group, consider yourself lucky! You may be asking the question from the standpoint of how you should organize the wealth of information and myriad of photographs you have at your fingertips!
Other adoptive parents don’t have very much in the way of information or resources at all. For example, in an international adoption, an adoptive parent may not even know the birthmother’s name, the specific date and time or place of a child’s birth or a reason given for the adoption plan. If you fit this category, don’t worry! There are ways to address that lack of information.
For example, one of the most important pages in a lifebook is the one that describes the biological mother. Oftentimes several pages are dedicated to this special person in your child’s life. Ideally, you would have a full-length, high-quality color photo of her, but you may not even have a grainy, black and white facsimile of her profile from the shoulders up! In that case, you could always write something along the lines of:
"Did you know that something in your body called DNA, given to you by your birthparents, is responsible for the features that you have? Your birthmother passed on some of her physical traits to you. Because you have beautiful, light brown, wavy hair, chances are good that your birthmother did too!"
Where the specific date and time or place of a child’s birth is unknown, using maps and historical weather data can provide meaningful content for the lifebook page dealing with the child’s birth. Let’s say, for instance, that you don’t know the exact date and time of birth. One way to address this is to say:
"We think you were born during the summer of 2002 because the orphanage director said that when you came to the orphanage, you were about the same size as other children that were born then. And, although we don’t know the specific day, summers in Moscow are typically rather mild, about 70 degrees. I’ll bet the sun was shining extra bright on the day you were born."
If you don’t have specifics on the place of birth but want to give a good reference point, download a map from the internet that shows a town or region where your child was likely born, including landmarks or topography, if possible. Kids love maps!
Something else kids love is devotion. Your devotion to starting (and completing) a lifebook will be very much appreciated by your child. Hopefully this article helps you get past the initial hurdle if you were worried about the lack of material suited to such an important endeavor!
*****Written by Jennifer Demar, adoptive parent of two and owner of www.scrapandtell.com, an online store specializing in adoption scrapbooking supplies and multi-cultural products perfect for lifebooks.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Weekend Update
I cannot believe it has only been 4 days since my driver collected the application form. It feels like a WEEK! We have the all the identification copies, and the medical reports filled out. Now it is just a matter of getting the criminal check done – which we can do tomorrow morning. It’s safe to say it has been the longest weekend I have in memory!!
I have all these attractive color coded files going on – for incomplete forms, complete forms, original documents, and things to add to the baby’s “adoption scrapbook”. I started a scrapbook back in 2007 during our first time applying. Kept a copy of everything required, and stuck it all in a nice locally made scrapbook. This time around I am putting most everything in attractively labeled envelops, and sticking the envelops in the scrap book – takes up less room, and I am not sure how much documentation will be given to use during the entire adoption process. Ideally I want everything in the one scrapbook – from the time we started in 2007, up until the child is legally a member of our family. After that I can start on the “Life Book” – or even as soon as the child is living with us.
Have you noticed I have an issue calling the child a HER? I don’t know what it is. I think I ma leaving it open a bit – incase a baby boy chooses us instead! I mean – until you are in the room looking around – who knows what will happen. Right??
Anyway – back to the Life Book idea. I know I posted some fabulous stuff about it in 2007, so no doubt should go back through the blog and brush up on it again. Make sure I am collecting all the right stuff and information for it.
Well – that is about it for me. Scrapbooking to my hearts content, and ANXIOUS to get the criminal record check thing done. The sooner we do it, the sooner it is back. And the sooner it is back… well – the sooner we can really get MOVING with the adoption. Can’t be soon enough, if you ask me!
I have all these attractive color coded files going on – for incomplete forms, complete forms, original documents, and things to add to the baby’s “adoption scrapbook”. I started a scrapbook back in 2007 during our first time applying. Kept a copy of everything required, and stuck it all in a nice locally made scrapbook. This time around I am putting most everything in attractively labeled envelops, and sticking the envelops in the scrap book – takes up less room, and I am not sure how much documentation will be given to use during the entire adoption process. Ideally I want everything in the one scrapbook – from the time we started in 2007, up until the child is legally a member of our family. After that I can start on the “Life Book” – or even as soon as the child is living with us.
Have you noticed I have an issue calling the child a HER? I don’t know what it is. I think I ma leaving it open a bit – incase a baby boy chooses us instead! I mean – until you are in the room looking around – who knows what will happen. Right??
Anyway – back to the Life Book idea. I know I posted some fabulous stuff about it in 2007, so no doubt should go back through the blog and brush up on it again. Make sure I am collecting all the right stuff and information for it.
Well – that is about it for me. Scrapbooking to my hearts content, and ANXIOUS to get the criminal record check thing done. The sooner we do it, the sooner it is back. And the sooner it is back… well – the sooner we can really get MOVING with the adoption. Can’t be soon enough, if you ask me!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Paperwork Update
In the past year, the documentation required to adopt within Kenya has been slightly changed… we now have to supply a “Certificate of Good Conduct”, which is basically a criminal check done on both adoptive parents. Good idea, and everything, but adds a week onto the time it will take us to apply to adopt. :-(
I wanted to have all our paperwork handed in today, but with the new requirements, I am now aiming to drop everything off next Friday... February the 6th. Let's see!!
I wanted to have all our paperwork handed in today, but with the new requirements, I am now aiming to drop everything off next Friday... February the 6th. Let's see!!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Back on Track
Greetings, everyone!! So - I know. 2009. Life has a way of blurring by, until something triggers a change in our paths... Anyway - good news! We are back on track for adopting a Kenyan baby!!! yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our paperwork and approval has all expired, so we are starting the process all over again... today! My driver is picking up the paperwork just now, and I am hoping that tomorrow he can scoot around to get the various forms filled out and signed. Then we begin the interview process - one joint interview, and then individual ones. And a councelling session as well - always fun! ;-D
Anyway - one step at a time. The good thing is we have been through all this before, so it's not as daunting as it was the first time around. Phew!
Fingers crossed we can get aproved quickly... Last time I think it took about a month - the panel only has one meeting per month, so it's luck of the draw when it comes to how long you have to wait for it. Anyway - SO excited!!
;-D
Our paperwork and approval has all expired, so we are starting the process all over again... today! My driver is picking up the paperwork just now, and I am hoping that tomorrow he can scoot around to get the various forms filled out and signed. Then we begin the interview process - one joint interview, and then individual ones. And a councelling session as well - always fun! ;-D
Anyway - one step at a time. The good thing is we have been through all this before, so it's not as daunting as it was the first time around. Phew!
Fingers crossed we can get aproved quickly... Last time I think it took about a month - the panel only has one meeting per month, so it's luck of the draw when it comes to how long you have to wait for it. Anyway - SO excited!!
;-D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
