Oh my goodness. Where to even begin. Well, it took all of about 7 minutes. She came in and asked to be toured around the house... which I did. She said it was "very nice". Her main concern was how many people lived in the house, and where the baby would be sleeping. She took notes on teh back of a folded piece of paper, and that was about it.
On the way out to her car I asked her when the LANS Case Committee would be meeting. I don't know if it is just the standard answer, or the truth, but she said it could be between 2 and 3 WEEKS. (GASP!!!) I have been asking her everytime I see her about when the next LANS meeting will be, and she always says "It is not set yet". But when I first went into Little Angels Network, I asked another gal, and she said that adoption had increased in Kenya since the first time we applied, and that the case committee was meeting TWICE A MONTH. So I just don't know. Being out of control of the situation just SUCKS!!!
Anyway - I'm completely bummed out... although slightly cheery that the house looks so great! Imagine. But I still just want to hop into bed and watch bad movies on teh Hallmark channel until... sometime in March!!! Ah - so annoying....
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Waiting...
2 1/2 hours until the Home Visit.
The house is in fine shape - dare I say even clean, attractive, and fabulous!! Other than washing the dog prints off the front porch, and putting out teh new welcome Mat - we are golden!!
Now I just need time to pass quickly, so I can start another project and make a mess! ha ha ha!!
The house is in fine shape - dare I say even clean, attractive, and fabulous!! Other than washing the dog prints off the front porch, and putting out teh new welcome Mat - we are golden!!
Now I just need time to pass quickly, so I can start another project and make a mess! ha ha ha!!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Baby Options
The minimum age for adoption in Kenya is 6 weeks, but the orphanage we have selected has a strict rule of the minimum age being 3 months old. Their reasoning behind it is half medical, half legal… The medical part is obvious – the health and developmental ability of the children can be assessed quite well by three months of age. The legal part I am a bit more confused about… the social worker at New Life Home Trust explained it to me (twice – shh!), but I didn’t have the courage to keep questioning her until I understood it completely. The jist of it that there is a six week period where the parents can come back and claim the child, or something like that. Or it’s a form that takes 6 weeks to process in the courts? I don’t exactly know – but something like that. Basically New Life Home Trust waits until the health of the child is confirmed, and the legal status of the child is confirmed. Thus the minimum age of 3 months to adopt. (heavy sigh.)
Anyway – they have two baby girls that are around “the right age” to be adopted. One was born on November 4th, and the other on November 26th. Apparently one of my Aunts was born on November 4th!! …she had breast cancer, and passed on a couple years ago. So that is pretty cool… NOT that my Aunt passed on, of course, but that there is a baby waiting to be adopted that was born on her birthday. ;-)
Our other option is to see if any baby girls are available at New Life Home Trust’s orphanage in Mombasa. If there is, we can fly out there and meet them/her, and adopt from there.
Or we can wait until another baby girl becomes 3 months old… I’m not sure how many younger baby girls they have though.
Technically we can also switch orphanages and choose a 6 week old baby girl from somewhere else. I really don’t want to do that, as New Life is the “best” orphanage in Kenya, and I obviously want our daughter to have received the absolute best care and medical attention before we can provide for her ourselves.
Now waiting to be approved is absolute AGONY… I don’t know what else I can paint, remodel, or build, to keep me occupied until we are, but I most certainly will have to keep myself swamped with projects – just to keep my sanity!!
Anyway – they have two baby girls that are around “the right age” to be adopted. One was born on November 4th, and the other on November 26th. Apparently one of my Aunts was born on November 4th!! …she had breast cancer, and passed on a couple years ago. So that is pretty cool… NOT that my Aunt passed on, of course, but that there is a baby waiting to be adopted that was born on her birthday. ;-)
Our other option is to see if any baby girls are available at New Life Home Trust’s orphanage in Mombasa. If there is, we can fly out there and meet them/her, and adopt from there.
Or we can wait until another baby girl becomes 3 months old… I’m not sure how many younger baby girls they have though.
Technically we can also switch orphanages and choose a 6 week old baby girl from somewhere else. I really don’t want to do that, as New Life is the “best” orphanage in Kenya, and I obviously want our daughter to have received the absolute best care and medical attention before we can provide for her ourselves.
Now waiting to be approved is absolute AGONY… I don’t know what else I can paint, remodel, or build, to keep me occupied until we are, but I most certainly will have to keep myself swamped with projects – just to keep my sanity!!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Big Brother Training 101
I have been trying to get Meer used to the idea of having a new baby around the house… I put a teddy bear in a baby carrier sling and walked around the house... The first couple times Meer was quite disturbed by it and would instruct me to take the teddy bear out, and put Meer inside instead!! So I did, and lugged Meer around in a back breaking sling pretending he was my “tiny little baby straight from the hospital”! We have a rule too – “Baby’s don’t talk.” So if he is playing baby – he can’t use any words. That makes the game last only so long, before our Big Boy is back and eager to show us how tall he is! We pretend we are all shocked that a baby could grow up so fast, and everyone has a good laugh.
I have been looking for a “brown” baby doll to use instead of a fuzzy teddy bear, but was unsuccessful until last week, when I found a brown baby doll at a grocery store across town. The quality isn’t there (of course!!), but for the $20 it cost, I think it is still well worth it, if only to get Meer desensitized to the look of a little baby around the house. It’s kind of a cute doll too – it has a squishy body, and cries if it doesn’t have a bottle or pacifier in it's mouth.
Now when Meer is playing, or is engrossed in some activity, we make the baby cry and ask Meer to help us make the baby stop crying. Meer will stop what he is doing right away to come over and instruct me that the baby needs milk, and will push the bottle right into the baby’s mouth and hold it there, and say, “Stop crying baby... it’s OK.” It is SO cute!! Originally the baby used to make a sucking sound, and the bottle would move up and down a bit, but with Meer’s help to feed her, it now just makes a mechanical groaning noise and the bottle doesn’t move one bit. I went back to the grocery store and bought another one – so we have a spare for when this one breaks... which seems inevitable and in our near future!!
About 5 days into the experiment Meer now isn’t possessive of me when the baby is around. He has figured out that the baby is just more work for someone, and this morning even suggested that I hold the baby while it drinks it’s milk instead of putting in it’s bed.
Naturally we applaud him like crazy for being caring towards the doll, and he is really relishing all the praise he gets for being “such a good big brother”!! Here is a picture of Meer the first time he gave the baby doll it's bottle...
I have been looking for a “brown” baby doll to use instead of a fuzzy teddy bear, but was unsuccessful until last week, when I found a brown baby doll at a grocery store across town. The quality isn’t there (of course!!), but for the $20 it cost, I think it is still well worth it, if only to get Meer desensitized to the look of a little baby around the house. It’s kind of a cute doll too – it has a squishy body, and cries if it doesn’t have a bottle or pacifier in it's mouth.
Now when Meer is playing, or is engrossed in some activity, we make the baby cry and ask Meer to help us make the baby stop crying. Meer will stop what he is doing right away to come over and instruct me that the baby needs milk, and will push the bottle right into the baby’s mouth and hold it there, and say, “Stop crying baby... it’s OK.” It is SO cute!! Originally the baby used to make a sucking sound, and the bottle would move up and down a bit, but with Meer’s help to feed her, it now just makes a mechanical groaning noise and the bottle doesn’t move one bit. I went back to the grocery store and bought another one – so we have a spare for when this one breaks... which seems inevitable and in our near future!!
About 5 days into the experiment Meer now isn’t possessive of me when the baby is around. He has figured out that the baby is just more work for someone, and this morning even suggested that I hold the baby while it drinks it’s milk instead of putting in it’s bed.
Naturally we applaud him like crazy for being caring towards the doll, and he is really relishing all the praise he gets for being “such a good big brother”!! Here is a picture of Meer the first time he gave the baby doll it's bottle...
Friday, February 20, 2009
Waiting for the Home Visit
Less than 4 days until the home visit. Not that is matters one bit how “organized” our home is, considering asking if we having flush toilets is the main question on the application!! But regardless, I’m all in a fluff to have it actually functional, and livable, and COMPLETED, before Caroline gets here… at 10:00 Tuesday morning!!
For the past 2 weeks I have actually completely removed and replaced EVERYTHING – with thorough cleaning done in between. Every room in the house now has a purpose that suits our lifestyle (good bye formal dining room), and works for our family. What a freaking CHORE!! I’m at a stage now where the once cleaned and organized garage (I started in there) is now the current dumping ground for boxed that I have low-to-no motivation to unpack… my only concern is how to stack them higher! Ha ha ha!! Yeah. Not joking.
In a perfect world I would have about 2 more bookcases for my books, and a SERIOUS wallunit or “hutch” for my sewing and craft supplies. But until then, the house is pretty much in working order, and even… dare I say… looking pretty good!!
Yesterday I made fresh curtains for the Toy Room – a cute little blue, yellow and red print on a white background. It has made the room super fresh! Today I emptied the “wine cabinet” and converted it into a much needed book case in the new office (was the dining room). Now I am dealing with the last bits of… crap… that seem to be cluttering up the surfaces – particularly in the kitchen! I’m inclined to get a few more empty boxes and just start filling them up and stacking them in the garage!! How horrible of me is that??? Well… I just might do it…
Ok. Off to find the boxes!! ;-)
For the past 2 weeks I have actually completely removed and replaced EVERYTHING – with thorough cleaning done in between. Every room in the house now has a purpose that suits our lifestyle (good bye formal dining room), and works for our family. What a freaking CHORE!! I’m at a stage now where the once cleaned and organized garage (I started in there) is now the current dumping ground for boxed that I have low-to-no motivation to unpack… my only concern is how to stack them higher! Ha ha ha!! Yeah. Not joking.
In a perfect world I would have about 2 more bookcases for my books, and a SERIOUS wallunit or “hutch” for my sewing and craft supplies. But until then, the house is pretty much in working order, and even… dare I say… looking pretty good!!
Yesterday I made fresh curtains for the Toy Room – a cute little blue, yellow and red print on a white background. It has made the room super fresh! Today I emptied the “wine cabinet” and converted it into a much needed book case in the new office (was the dining room). Now I am dealing with the last bits of… crap… that seem to be cluttering up the surfaces – particularly in the kitchen! I’m inclined to get a few more empty boxes and just start filling them up and stacking them in the garage!! How horrible of me is that??? Well… I just might do it…
Ok. Off to find the boxes!! ;-)
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Pre-Adoption Counseling
We had our “Pre-Adoption Counseling” this morning! We met at Little Angels Network, and spoke with a LOVELY lady named of Jane. She was about our age, has a daughter that is six years old that is going to same school that Kush did. Talking to her was more than pleasant! Imagine.
Now I have my Individual Interview on Thursday, and then a Home Visit on Tuesday the 24th. After that all we have to do is wait for the Case Committee to meet and approve us!
Oh yes. So after our counseling, I went to New Life Home Trust to see if I could speak with their social worker. I spoke with a lady by the name of Grace. She was also extremely pleasant and informative. Turns out the minimum age to adopt from New Life Home Trust is three months old. Their reason being 1) the legal rights of the parents being null and void, and also the confirmed health of the child. The BAD NEWS is that they only have TWO baby girls that 3 months old!! Can you imagine? ALL the rest are boys.
Which got me to thinking – every time we are there, it seems like just boys are playing outside. Turns out it is a cultural trend on this side, that has gotten worse in the past few years – most abandoned babies are boys. I told Kasimbi (our houseman) about it on the way home, and he said, “Oh – that is the Luhya’s. A girl cannot marry if she has a boy child.” I was like – “WHAT???” I mean – seriously. It’s 2009. Anyway – it is what it is. We have 2 girls to choose from – one born November 4th, and one born November 26th. NO – I didn’t see them, or anything – we have to wait to be approved first…. Well, I COULD have seen them, but how hard would that be?? To leave a sweet baby there for weeks on end??
Anyway – after we are approved, we go to visit the child 6 times – one of which includes us taking the child to our own pediatrician for a check-up and whatever tests our doctor suggests, etc. Then we bring the baby home! We have to bring her back to the orphanage every two weeks until the legal adoption process starts, and then monthly until we have legally adopted her.
Some babies that have been abandoned at the hospitals have a record of their mother’s name – so that is optimistic! Not that I want to find the woman, or anything, but I imagine it would be reassuring to the child to have a name, at least.
So that’s it!! Waiting until Thursday morning at 9am….
Now I have my Individual Interview on Thursday, and then a Home Visit on Tuesday the 24th. After that all we have to do is wait for the Case Committee to meet and approve us!
Oh yes. So after our counseling, I went to New Life Home Trust to see if I could speak with their social worker. I spoke with a lady by the name of Grace. She was also extremely pleasant and informative. Turns out the minimum age to adopt from New Life Home Trust is three months old. Their reason being 1) the legal rights of the parents being null and void, and also the confirmed health of the child. The BAD NEWS is that they only have TWO baby girls that 3 months old!! Can you imagine? ALL the rest are boys.
Which got me to thinking – every time we are there, it seems like just boys are playing outside. Turns out it is a cultural trend on this side, that has gotten worse in the past few years – most abandoned babies are boys. I told Kasimbi (our houseman) about it on the way home, and he said, “Oh – that is the Luhya’s. A girl cannot marry if she has a boy child.” I was like – “WHAT???” I mean – seriously. It’s 2009. Anyway – it is what it is. We have 2 girls to choose from – one born November 4th, and one born November 26th. NO – I didn’t see them, or anything – we have to wait to be approved first…. Well, I COULD have seen them, but how hard would that be?? To leave a sweet baby there for weeks on end??
Anyway – after we are approved, we go to visit the child 6 times – one of which includes us taking the child to our own pediatrician for a check-up and whatever tests our doctor suggests, etc. Then we bring the baby home! We have to bring her back to the orphanage every two weeks until the legal adoption process starts, and then monthly until we have legally adopted her.
Some babies that have been abandoned at the hospitals have a record of their mother’s name – so that is optimistic! Not that I want to find the woman, or anything, but I imagine it would be reassuring to the child to have a name, at least.
So that’s it!! Waiting until Thursday morning at 9am….
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Joint Interview
We had our Joint Interview this morning! It went well. We met our social worker – Caroline – who is a nice young lady, very polite, etc. Just asked the usual questions about our marriage, how we met, what we expect from our adopted child(?), how our finances are, etc. It took about 45 minutes, and most of it was waiting for Caroline to write down what we had said.
On Tuesday we go for counseling – which is now done at Little Angels Network offices – the same place as our interviews. That is a step up, since the last time we had to drive around a dingy part of town looking for parking, and then wander up a grimy and dirty stairwell to find our counselors office! So the change is definitely a good thing.
Next Thursday I go for my Individual Interview – mostly questions about my own family, and the like. And then the following Tuesday (February 24th), Caroline comes to our house for a “Home Visit”. That is the last of the pre-requisites before our application goes to the LANS Case Committee to be decided upon. (YIPPEE!!)
I’m a bit BUMMED OUT that our appointments are SO spaced out. That sucks. But I am trying to convince myself that even if we had them all done within the next few days, we still might have to wait just as long for the LANS Case Committee to set a meeting date…. Right? Well – let’s see. Fingers crossed!!!
On Tuesday we go for counseling – which is now done at Little Angels Network offices – the same place as our interviews. That is a step up, since the last time we had to drive around a dingy part of town looking for parking, and then wander up a grimy and dirty stairwell to find our counselors office! So the change is definitely a good thing.
Next Thursday I go for my Individual Interview – mostly questions about my own family, and the like. And then the following Tuesday (February 24th), Caroline comes to our house for a “Home Visit”. That is the last of the pre-requisites before our application goes to the LANS Case Committee to be decided upon. (YIPPEE!!)
I’m a bit BUMMED OUT that our appointments are SO spaced out. That sucks. But I am trying to convince myself that even if we had them all done within the next few days, we still might have to wait just as long for the LANS Case Committee to set a meeting date…. Right? Well – let’s see. Fingers crossed!!!
Friday, February 06, 2009
Progress!!!
We handed in our application yesterday, and got a phone call from our new social worker – Caroline – today! Our joint interview is set for Wednesday morning at 9:00!!! Yee haw!! I’m SO thrilled. So that is all good news.
I have been working on the framework of a lifebook… making chapters for the various topics, and then questions that we need to find answers for as our journey progresses. I’ve changed it like 6 times!! I think it is pretty good now – NOT the version I have posted below. I have added a few more chapters (25 in total), and changed the wording to “Your Birth Day”, “Your Birth Parents”, etc. I have a page with questions on it for each topic, which I will keep with us during the entire adoption process – to write down answers, facts, full names, quotes, etc.
I lucked out and found some quite lovely locally produced cardstock to make the actual lifebooks from, and it comes in a variety of colors. I have used the chapter headings to arrange the blank pages in a binder with pager protector sleeves… the idea being I will have a place ready to assemble the lifebook as the story unfolds, with the flexibility to add and remove pages.
Anyway – That is about as far as I have gotten so far.
Oh! And now the LANS Committee meets twice a month to decide over the adoption applications, so we might not have to wait as long to get approved as we did before!! Adoption rates have doubled in Kenya over the past year (fabulous!!), and now about 12 children are adopted through our agency (Little Angels Network) every month. So that is great news, although still quite a small number compared to the vast number of orphans.
;-D
I have been working on the framework of a lifebook… making chapters for the various topics, and then questions that we need to find answers for as our journey progresses. I’ve changed it like 6 times!! I think it is pretty good now – NOT the version I have posted below. I have added a few more chapters (25 in total), and changed the wording to “Your Birth Day”, “Your Birth Parents”, etc. I have a page with questions on it for each topic, which I will keep with us during the entire adoption process – to write down answers, facts, full names, quotes, etc.
I lucked out and found some quite lovely locally produced cardstock to make the actual lifebooks from, and it comes in a variety of colors. I have used the chapter headings to arrange the blank pages in a binder with pager protector sleeves… the idea being I will have a place ready to assemble the lifebook as the story unfolds, with the flexibility to add and remove pages.
Anyway – That is about as far as I have gotten so far.
Oh! And now the LANS Committee meets twice a month to decide over the adoption applications, so we might not have to wait as long to get approved as we did before!! Adoption rates have doubled in Kenya over the past year (fabulous!!), and now about 12 children are adopted through our agency (Little Angels Network) every month. So that is great news, although still quite a small number compared to the vast number of orphans.
;-D
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Lifebook Progress
I am making a "lifebook" for our future adopted child. A Lifebook is like a scrapbook that tells the story of their lives from the time they were born up until they are legally adopted into our family. It answers many of the questions an adopted child would have, is a tool to discussing adoption openly, and gives value to the early part of the child's life.
My goal is to have the framework done – and bound into a spiral book – that I can keep with me during the adoption process and ask and write down as many questions as I can think of... Can you think of any questions and/or topics that would be helpful to YOU, if you had been adopted? Any areas of your early life that would be important later on? The more questions the better, so if you ahve any suggestions, please let me know by commenting below this post.
Here is the framework I have done so far…
The Day I was Born
What date was I born?
Where was I born?
Who helped me?
What was the weather like?
What day of the week was it?
My Birth Parents
What information do we have about my birth mother?
How can we get more information about my birth mother?
What information de we have about my birth father?
How can we get more information about my birth father?
What are the traditions in Kenya for having babies?
Why did my birth parents give me up for adoption?
Did my birth parents love me?
When I Arrived at New Life Home Trust
When did I arrive at New Life Home Trust?
Where did I sleep when I first arrived?
How long did I stay there for?
Are there any pictures of me when I arrived?
Did I cry a lot when I first arrived?
Was I hungry?
Who was the first person to look after me?
My Medical Details
How was my health when I arrived?
How much did I weigh?
How tall was I?
How big was my head?
How was my health after 2 weeks?
How was my health after 1 month?
How was my health before my parents took me home?
Was I HIV Positive when I arrived?
Was I HIV+ when my parents took me home?
My Caretakers & What They Said
Who looked after me during the day?
Who looked after me at night?
Who was my favorite caretaker?
What did my caretakers say about me?
How did my caretakers sooth me when I was upset?.
What are the full names of the caretakers who looked after me?
My Daily Routine
What was my routine at New Life Family Trust?
What was my favorite thing to do?
What was my favorite thing to eat?
What was my favorite toy?
What was my favorite song?
Who was my favorite playmate?
When We First Met
What did you think when you first saw me?
What did you feel when you first saw me?
What did mama say?
What did daddy say?
What was I wearing?
Where was I?
What was I doing?
What did I say or do?
How did you know I belonged in our family?
How long after we met did you bring me home?
Why did it take so long?
Our Visits
How often did you come to see me?.
Was I happy to see you?
Did I know who you were?
What did we do together?
How many visits did we have before I was allowed to come home with you?
Was I sad when you had to leave?
How long did you stay with me on each visit?
Were you sad to leave me behind?
Did my brother come to visit me too?
Did Meer play with me when he visited?
When I Arrived at Home
When did I arrive at home with my parents?
Who came to visit me?
What preparations did my family make for me?
What did my brother think of me coming home?
How did we spend our first day together?
Did I sleep well in my new bed?
Was I scared?
Did I miss my caretakers and friends from New Life Home Trust?
Foster Period
What is a "Foster Period"?How long did the Foster period last?
How did my routine change?
How did my family's routine change?
What did people say when they met me?
When did Meer first show that he loved me?
What did Meer do to show that he loved me?
When did I first show that I loved Meer?
What did I do to show that I loved Meer?
Little Angels
What was the full name of our social worker?
What did he/she say about me?
How many visits did we have?
Where did we meet?
What did mama and daddy do during our visits?
What did I do while the social worker was visiting?
Did I enjoy the visits?
Counseling
What was the full name of our counselor?
What did we discuss during our talks?
How many times did we visit with him/her?
Where did we meet for our talks?
What did I do during our talks?
Did I enjoy our visits with the counselor?
Legal Proceedings
Date, Time, Event, Outcome...
Getting My Passports
When did I get my first Passport?
How old was I when I got my first passport?
What country was my first passport from?
When did I get my second passport?
How old was I when I got my second passport?
What country was my second passport from?
Celebrating My Legal Adoption
How did we celebrate my adoption becoming legal?
What was the date?
What day of the week was it?
What was the weather like?
Who came to share the day?
Did I receive any gifts?
Did I enjoy the party?
What did I do during the party?
What People Said About Me
Date: Name: Comment:
What Matters in a Family
1)
2)
3)
My Name
What is my full name?
What do my names mean?
Who picked my names?
Why did you pick the names you did?
How many names did you choose from?
How did you choose my names?
What was my name at New Life Family Trust?
My Heritage
What tribe am I from?
How can we find out what tribe I am from?
What traditions are important to my people?
What are the traditional rules for having babies?
What are the jobs that a mama would do?
What are the jobs that a daddy would do?
What are the jobs for children to do?
What would they do for fun?
All About Kenya
How old is Kenya?
What people live in Kenya?
What tribe do I come from?
What food do Kenyans eat?
What traditions do Kenyans have?
What are the National Holidays?
How do we celebrate each holiday?
What does a Kenyan person value?
What does a Kenyan person pride the most?
What makes being Kenyan special?
Time Capsule
What was happening in Kenya when I was born?
What was happening in the world when I was born?
Who were the popular actors?
What was the popular music?
What was the price of Milk in Kenya? Canada? USA?
What was the price of petrol in Kenya? Canada? USA?
What was the weather like?
What famous people were born on the same day?
My goal is to have the framework done – and bound into a spiral book – that I can keep with me during the adoption process and ask and write down as many questions as I can think of... Can you think of any questions and/or topics that would be helpful to YOU, if you had been adopted? Any areas of your early life that would be important later on? The more questions the better, so if you ahve any suggestions, please let me know by commenting below this post.
Here is the framework I have done so far…
The Day I was Born
What date was I born?
Where was I born?
Who helped me?
What was the weather like?
What day of the week was it?
My Birth Parents
What information do we have about my birth mother?
How can we get more information about my birth mother?
What information de we have about my birth father?
How can we get more information about my birth father?
What are the traditions in Kenya for having babies?
Why did my birth parents give me up for adoption?
Did my birth parents love me?
When I Arrived at New Life Home Trust
When did I arrive at New Life Home Trust?
Where did I sleep when I first arrived?
How long did I stay there for?
Are there any pictures of me when I arrived?
Did I cry a lot when I first arrived?
Was I hungry?
Who was the first person to look after me?
My Medical Details
How was my health when I arrived?
How much did I weigh?
How tall was I?
How big was my head?
How was my health after 2 weeks?
How was my health after 1 month?
How was my health before my parents took me home?
Was I HIV Positive when I arrived?
Was I HIV+ when my parents took me home?
My Caretakers & What They Said
Who looked after me during the day?
Who looked after me at night?
Who was my favorite caretaker?
What did my caretakers say about me?
How did my caretakers sooth me when I was upset?.
What are the full names of the caretakers who looked after me?
My Daily Routine
What was my routine at New Life Family Trust?
What was my favorite thing to do?
What was my favorite thing to eat?
What was my favorite toy?
What was my favorite song?
Who was my favorite playmate?
When We First Met
What did you think when you first saw me?
What did you feel when you first saw me?
What did mama say?
What did daddy say?
What was I wearing?
Where was I?
What was I doing?
What did I say or do?
How did you know I belonged in our family?
How long after we met did you bring me home?
Why did it take so long?
Our Visits
How often did you come to see me?.
Was I happy to see you?
Did I know who you were?
What did we do together?
How many visits did we have before I was allowed to come home with you?
Was I sad when you had to leave?
How long did you stay with me on each visit?
Were you sad to leave me behind?
Did my brother come to visit me too?
Did Meer play with me when he visited?
When I Arrived at Home
When did I arrive at home with my parents?
Who came to visit me?
What preparations did my family make for me?
What did my brother think of me coming home?
How did we spend our first day together?
Did I sleep well in my new bed?
Was I scared?
Did I miss my caretakers and friends from New Life Home Trust?
Foster Period
What is a "Foster Period"?How long did the Foster period last?
How did my routine change?
How did my family's routine change?
What did people say when they met me?
When did Meer first show that he loved me?
What did Meer do to show that he loved me?
When did I first show that I loved Meer?
What did I do to show that I loved Meer?
Little Angels
What was the full name of our social worker?
What did he/she say about me?
How many visits did we have?
Where did we meet?
What did mama and daddy do during our visits?
What did I do while the social worker was visiting?
Did I enjoy the visits?
Counseling
What was the full name of our counselor?
What did we discuss during our talks?
How many times did we visit with him/her?
Where did we meet for our talks?
What did I do during our talks?
Did I enjoy our visits with the counselor?
Legal Proceedings
Date, Time, Event, Outcome...
Getting My Passports
When did I get my first Passport?
How old was I when I got my first passport?
What country was my first passport from?
When did I get my second passport?
How old was I when I got my second passport?
What country was my second passport from?
Celebrating My Legal Adoption
How did we celebrate my adoption becoming legal?
What was the date?
What day of the week was it?
What was the weather like?
Who came to share the day?
Did I receive any gifts?
Did I enjoy the party?
What did I do during the party?
What People Said About Me
Date: Name: Comment:
What Matters in a Family
1)
2)
3)
My Name
What is my full name?
What do my names mean?
Who picked my names?
Why did you pick the names you did?
How many names did you choose from?
How did you choose my names?
What was my name at New Life Family Trust?
My Heritage
What tribe am I from?
How can we find out what tribe I am from?
What traditions are important to my people?
What are the traditional rules for having babies?
What are the jobs that a mama would do?
What are the jobs that a daddy would do?
What are the jobs for children to do?
What would they do for fun?
All About Kenya
How old is Kenya?
What people live in Kenya?
What tribe do I come from?
What food do Kenyans eat?
What traditions do Kenyans have?
What are the National Holidays?
How do we celebrate each holiday?
What does a Kenyan person value?
What does a Kenyan person pride the most?
What makes being Kenyan special?
Time Capsule
What was happening in Kenya when I was born?
What was happening in the world when I was born?
Who were the popular actors?
What was the popular music?
What was the price of Milk in Kenya? Canada? USA?
What was the price of petrol in Kenya? Canada? USA?
What was the weather like?
What famous people were born on the same day?
Monday, February 02, 2009
Lifebooks: Getting Past the Initial Hurdle
Creating a lifebook may seem like a daunting task, especially when there is not an abundance of information about your child’s life before becoming a part of your family. It is actually easy and fun…once you get past that initial hurdle: "How do I start?"
That question is answered based on how much information you have available. Some adoptive parents (especially with domestic adoptions) have access to volumes of information about their child’s early life and may have a relationship with a birthmother that is very open to sharing intimate details. If you’re in this group, consider yourself lucky! You may be asking the question from the standpoint of how you should organize the wealth of information and myriad of photographs you have at your fingertips!
Other adoptive parents don’t have very much in the way of information or resources at all. For example, in an international adoption, an adoptive parent may not even know the birthmother’s name, the specific date and time or place of a child’s birth or a reason given for the adoption plan. If you fit this category, don’t worry! There are ways to address that lack of information.
For example, one of the most important pages in a lifebook is the one that describes the biological mother. Oftentimes several pages are dedicated to this special person in your child’s life. Ideally, you would have a full-length, high-quality color photo of her, but you may not even have a grainy, black and white facsimile of her profile from the shoulders up! In that case, you could always write something along the lines of:
"Did you know that something in your body called DNA, given to you by your birthparents, is responsible for the features that you have? Your birthmother passed on some of her physical traits to you. Because you have beautiful, light brown, wavy hair, chances are good that your birthmother did too!"
Where the specific date and time or place of a child’s birth is unknown, using maps and historical weather data can provide meaningful content for the lifebook page dealing with the child’s birth. Let’s say, for instance, that you don’t know the exact date and time of birth. One way to address this is to say:
"We think you were born during the summer of 2002 because the orphanage director said that when you came to the orphanage, you were about the same size as other children that were born then. And, although we don’t know the specific day, summers in Moscow are typically rather mild, about 70 degrees. I’ll bet the sun was shining extra bright on the day you were born."
If you don’t have specifics on the place of birth but want to give a good reference point, download a map from the internet that shows a town or region where your child was likely born, including landmarks or topography, if possible. Kids love maps!
Something else kids love is devotion. Your devotion to starting (and completing) a lifebook will be very much appreciated by your child. Hopefully this article helps you get past the initial hurdle if you were worried about the lack of material suited to such an important endeavor!
*****Written by Jennifer Demar, adoptive parent of two and owner of www.scrapandtell.com, an online store specializing in adoption scrapbooking supplies and multi-cultural products perfect for lifebooks.
That question is answered based on how much information you have available. Some adoptive parents (especially with domestic adoptions) have access to volumes of information about their child’s early life and may have a relationship with a birthmother that is very open to sharing intimate details. If you’re in this group, consider yourself lucky! You may be asking the question from the standpoint of how you should organize the wealth of information and myriad of photographs you have at your fingertips!
Other adoptive parents don’t have very much in the way of information or resources at all. For example, in an international adoption, an adoptive parent may not even know the birthmother’s name, the specific date and time or place of a child’s birth or a reason given for the adoption plan. If you fit this category, don’t worry! There are ways to address that lack of information.
For example, one of the most important pages in a lifebook is the one that describes the biological mother. Oftentimes several pages are dedicated to this special person in your child’s life. Ideally, you would have a full-length, high-quality color photo of her, but you may not even have a grainy, black and white facsimile of her profile from the shoulders up! In that case, you could always write something along the lines of:
"Did you know that something in your body called DNA, given to you by your birthparents, is responsible for the features that you have? Your birthmother passed on some of her physical traits to you. Because you have beautiful, light brown, wavy hair, chances are good that your birthmother did too!"
Where the specific date and time or place of a child’s birth is unknown, using maps and historical weather data can provide meaningful content for the lifebook page dealing with the child’s birth. Let’s say, for instance, that you don’t know the exact date and time of birth. One way to address this is to say:
"We think you were born during the summer of 2002 because the orphanage director said that when you came to the orphanage, you were about the same size as other children that were born then. And, although we don’t know the specific day, summers in Moscow are typically rather mild, about 70 degrees. I’ll bet the sun was shining extra bright on the day you were born."
If you don’t have specifics on the place of birth but want to give a good reference point, download a map from the internet that shows a town or region where your child was likely born, including landmarks or topography, if possible. Kids love maps!
Something else kids love is devotion. Your devotion to starting (and completing) a lifebook will be very much appreciated by your child. Hopefully this article helps you get past the initial hurdle if you were worried about the lack of material suited to such an important endeavor!
*****Written by Jennifer Demar, adoptive parent of two and owner of www.scrapandtell.com, an online store specializing in adoption scrapbooking supplies and multi-cultural products perfect for lifebooks.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Weekend Update
I cannot believe it has only been 4 days since my driver collected the application form. It feels like a WEEK! We have the all the identification copies, and the medical reports filled out. Now it is just a matter of getting the criminal check done – which we can do tomorrow morning. It’s safe to say it has been the longest weekend I have in memory!!
I have all these attractive color coded files going on – for incomplete forms, complete forms, original documents, and things to add to the baby’s “adoption scrapbook”. I started a scrapbook back in 2007 during our first time applying. Kept a copy of everything required, and stuck it all in a nice locally made scrapbook. This time around I am putting most everything in attractively labeled envelops, and sticking the envelops in the scrap book – takes up less room, and I am not sure how much documentation will be given to use during the entire adoption process. Ideally I want everything in the one scrapbook – from the time we started in 2007, up until the child is legally a member of our family. After that I can start on the “Life Book” – or even as soon as the child is living with us.
Have you noticed I have an issue calling the child a HER? I don’t know what it is. I think I ma leaving it open a bit – incase a baby boy chooses us instead! I mean – until you are in the room looking around – who knows what will happen. Right??
Anyway – back to the Life Book idea. I know I posted some fabulous stuff about it in 2007, so no doubt should go back through the blog and brush up on it again. Make sure I am collecting all the right stuff and information for it.
Well – that is about it for me. Scrapbooking to my hearts content, and ANXIOUS to get the criminal record check thing done. The sooner we do it, the sooner it is back. And the sooner it is back… well – the sooner we can really get MOVING with the adoption. Can’t be soon enough, if you ask me!
I have all these attractive color coded files going on – for incomplete forms, complete forms, original documents, and things to add to the baby’s “adoption scrapbook”. I started a scrapbook back in 2007 during our first time applying. Kept a copy of everything required, and stuck it all in a nice locally made scrapbook. This time around I am putting most everything in attractively labeled envelops, and sticking the envelops in the scrap book – takes up less room, and I am not sure how much documentation will be given to use during the entire adoption process. Ideally I want everything in the one scrapbook – from the time we started in 2007, up until the child is legally a member of our family. After that I can start on the “Life Book” – or even as soon as the child is living with us.
Have you noticed I have an issue calling the child a HER? I don’t know what it is. I think I ma leaving it open a bit – incase a baby boy chooses us instead! I mean – until you are in the room looking around – who knows what will happen. Right??
Anyway – back to the Life Book idea. I know I posted some fabulous stuff about it in 2007, so no doubt should go back through the blog and brush up on it again. Make sure I am collecting all the right stuff and information for it.
Well – that is about it for me. Scrapbooking to my hearts content, and ANXIOUS to get the criminal record check thing done. The sooner we do it, the sooner it is back. And the sooner it is back… well – the sooner we can really get MOVING with the adoption. Can’t be soon enough, if you ask me!
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