Tanaya's Lifebook - What Worked for Me

It started out with detailed pages of questions to ask the caretakers at the orphanage - our social worker - our lawyer. It ended up a wonderful story book based on a format of 2 pictures per page (just printed straight from the computer) with a text box between them. I used Microsoft Publisher, but I imagine the same can be accomplished in Word if you were savy enough!

I started by thinking of Tanaya's life - from the day she was born onward. I started with the weather on that day (check my other lifebook posts for helpful links - I think it was weatherunder.com, but don't quote me!!), and also sent someone to the "hospital" where she was born to take as many pictures as they could. Photography at the hospital is illegal, but I did manage to get a photo on a mobile phone from the doorway of the maternity ward where she spent the first 4 days of her life with her birth mother!! It's a lousy quality picture, but I was elated about it!! I also made a page about her birth mother - the name she used to sign into the hospital, and used clip art to make two pages about how she grew inside her birth mother - just like every other child has. I did, however, not refer to her birth mother as "birth mother". I used the Swahili version, which is Mama Mzazi. I wanted to avoid as much confusion for her as possible, and having two "mothers" certainly can be confusing!

I collected, scanned, and photocopied each document the orphanage had for her - all on different colored papers so it looks a bit more official. I included each and every paper I could find that was linked to her - anything with her name on it is proudly displayed on pages in her lifebook.

From there I embarked on a chronological photo journey of her life, starting at the orphanage. We took pictures of the outside, and then added a scanned photo of her at the orphanage on the day she arrived. I took pictures of her caretakers, and the lady who chose her and brought her to the orphanage. Pictures of her crib-mates, the other children at the orphanage, her bedroom, and the bedroom of the older children at the orphanage (one bedroom for 1 dozen girls, one bedroom for a dozen boys - 4 kids per bunk bed!) I took pictures of the kitchen, and the children eating. Where they played, and what they did for fun. The best thing I did was to remove a small piece of painted concrete from the door frame of her bedroom, complete with a DVD of me doing it, and photos of it for her lifebook!! Apparently having something to touch from her life before us is helpful for her when she gets older. They suggest a stone or something from the garden, but to be honest - it wasn't safe enough to leave the orphanage unless making a straight line for the car!!

I made a few pages from mapping the orpahange on Google Earth, as well as some shots taken on the fly while driving through the dodgy neighbourhood she lived in.


I added as many pages of our visits as possible, along with a picture of each of her visitors. I bought a dozen greeting cards from the grocery store and gave them to the staff at the orphanage to write in about a week before we were allowed to bring Tanaya home. The one or two people that cared enough to write something in them was worth gold!! I scanned them - front/back and inside, and then printed them off 4 per page, and added them to her lifebook.

For the day she came home, we added pictures of everyone who came to collect her, and copies of the foster care agreement, etc. We have a wonderful picture of Meer touching her for the first time (although we missed the one of her licking her face after I asked him is she was sweet! DARN!!) We have pictures of me carrying her and our son out of the orphanage, driving home, and then of course of Meer "carrying" her into the house and introducing her to our staff. Those are the most priceless pictures, let me tell you!! SWEET!

The next pages are of her routine at the orphanage, and her new routine at home.

We included lots of pictures of her in the first few days in our family - each new visitor, as well as where she slept, where she bathed, where she drank her bottles, ate her food, etc. I also took pictures of her in a sling out shopping with me!!

The best part is recording what people said about her. I took all the comments from her photos on Facebook and made pages of quotes - each one with a different font and different color - and documenting who said it and where they were from. We were lucky enough o get three pages of quotes from around the world!!

Next we also wrote her cards, scanned them, printed them off 4 per page, and added them to her lifebook.

To be honest, that is as far as I have gotten. The bones are there, and the hard part is done. But now I have to keep up with it, and finish off the last of her first year!

Oh - and I should explain my chosen format. I went for the binder version with page protectors. I printed out each page on MS Publisher, and then trimmed it down by an inch on each side. Then glued it onto luster board (fancy glittery card stock that comes in a multitude of fabulous colors and finishes) - one color for each section. That way I can add to it, subtract from it, print it again - it's flexible and absolutely non-committal. ;-D

2009 Update

Wow. 2009 is almost over. And yes - how horrible of me to have been silent since APRIL!! I know. I know. Well - better late than never, so here is my politically correct update:

Adoption: It's going "well". Slow, but that is to be expected, I suppose. We completed the 3 month foster period, fought with the directors of the orphanage, made several large donations to the orphanage, and finally the directors managed to "feel comfortable" with relinquishing their authority over Tanaya. The horrifying part is that directors of the orphanage are friends of my parents, and live in the same upper-end neighbourhood that we do. It was just so discouraging. Don't even start me on the issue!! Grr.

After that battle, (and yes - it was!!), we waited an additional five months for our first court date, which was on December 11th. Basically we had to show up at the High Court of Kenya (no - don't picture it like that - Imagine a small office on the set of M.A.S.H. - No. I'm serious - 2 desks shoved in a room with stained curtains, and 4 wooden chairs pushed along the wall for us to sit on! "High Court" my arse!!!) The judge was frail and bored. He held his head in his hands most of the time, and basically just took notes (that were already printed out in front of him - don't ask me!), and acted as rudely as possible. Not that I expected much else - other than a proper COURT ROOM!! Gosh.

Now we are waiting for a meeting at the Child Services something-er-other in February, then a home visit from a government social worker, and then we file for another court date. That could be the last court date - the judge could grant us custody on the spot. Or he could ask for an additional document, and thus an additional court date. Who knows!

The good news is that Tanaya is with us, and has shed off most of her bad habits she acquired at the orphanage!! (thank goodness!!)

Well - more as it happens, I suppose. Thank you all for keeping up with me, and especially to 'anonymous" for the much needed kick in the ass to keep writing!!

Best wishes for a devine 2010...