Our Fabulous Growing Family

Bored? Not for Long!!

2010-01-12T09:50:00.005+03:00

Check out this AMAZING collection of activities and projects. There is SO many gorgeous ideas - it's just a matter of how many ink cartidges you have in reserve!! It's the activity page of Jan Brett's website... staggering!!! Check it out. (clic on the title of this post)

Tanaya's Lifebook - What Worked for Me

2009-12-30T14:55:00.002+03:00

It started out with detailed pages of questions to ask the caretakers at the orphanage - our social worker - our lawyer. It ended up a wonderful story book based on a format of 2 pictures per page (just printed straight from the computer) with a text box between them. I used Microsoft Publisher, but I imagine the same can be accomplished in Word if you were savy enough!

I started by thinking of Tanaya's life - from the day she was born onward. I started with the weather on that day (check my other lifebook posts for helpful links - I think it was weatherunder.com, but don't quote me!!), and also sent someone to the "hospital" where she was born to take as many pictures as they could. Photography at the hospital is illegal, but I did manage to get a photo on a mobile phone from the doorway of the maternity ward where she spent the first 4 days of her life with her birth mother!! It's a lousy quality picture, but I was elated about it!! I also made a page about her birth mother - the name she used to sign into the hospital, and used clip art to make two pages about how she grew inside her birth mother - just like every other child has. I did, however, not refer to her birth mother as "birth mother". I used the Swahili version, which is Mama Mzazi. I wanted to avoid as much confusion for her as possible, and having two "mothers" certainly can be confusing!

I collected, scanned, and photocopied each document the orphanage had for her - all on different colored papers so it looks a bit more official. I included each and every paper I could find that was linked to her - anything with her name on it is proudly displayed on pages in her lifebook.

From there I embarked on a chronological photo journey of her life, starting at the orphanage. We took pictures of the outside, and then added a scanned photo of her at the orphanage on the day she arrived. I took pictures of her caretakers, and the lady who chose her and brought her to the orphanage. Pictures of her crib-mates, the other children at the orphanage, her bedroom, and the bedroom of the older children at the orphanage (one bedroom for 1 dozen girls, one bedroom for a dozen boys - 4 kids per bunk bed!) I took pictures of the kitchen, and the children eating. Where they played, and what they did for fun. The best thing I did was to remove a small piece of painted concrete from the door frame of her bedroom, complete with a DVD of me doing it, and photos of it for her lifebook!! Apparently having something to touch from her life before us is helpful for her when she gets older. They suggest a stone or something from the garden, but to be honest - it wasn't safe enough to leave the orphanage unless making a straight line for the car!!

I made a few pages from mapping the orpahange on Google Earth, as well as some shots taken on the fly while driving through the dodgy neighbourhood she lived in.

I added as many pages of our visits as possible, along with a picture of each of her visitors. I bought a dozen greeting cards from the grocery store and gave them to the staff at the orphanage to write in about a week before we were allowed to bring Tanaya home. The one or two people that cared enough to write something in them was worth gold!! I scanned them - front/back and inside, and then printed them off 4 per page, and added them to her lifebook.

For the day she came home, we added pictures of everyone who came to collect her, and copies of the foster care agreement, etc. We have a wonderful picture of Meer touching her for the first time (although we missed the one of her licking her face after I asked him is she was sweet! DARN!!) We have pictures of me carrying her and our son out of the orphanage, driving home, and then of course of Meer "carrying" her into the house and introducing her to our staff. Those are the most priceless pictures, let me tell you!! SWEET!

The next pages are of her routine at the orphanage, and her new routine at home.

We included lots of pictures of her in the first few days in our family - each new visitor, as well as where she slept, where she bathed, where she drank her bottles, ate her food, etc. I also took pictures of her in a sling out shopping with me!!

The best part is recording what people said about her. I took all the comments from her photos on Facebook and made pages of quotes - each one with a different font and different color - and documenting who said it and where they were from. We were lucky enough o get three pages of quotes from around the world!!

Next we also wrote her cards, scanned them, printed them off 4 per page, and added them to her lifebook.

To be honest, that is as far as I have gotten. The bones are there, and the hard part is done. But now I have to keep up with it, and finish off the last of her first year!

Oh - and I should explain my chosen format. I went for the binder version with page protectors. I printed out each page on MS Publisher, and then trimmed it down by an inch on each side. Then glued it onto luster board (fancy glittery card stock that comes in a multitude of fabulous colors and finishes) - one color for each section. That way I can add to it, subtract from it, print it again - it's flexible and absolutely non-committal. ;-D

2009 Update

2009-12-30T13:47:00.000+03:00

Wow. 2009 is almost over. And yes - how horrible of me to have been silent since APRIL!! I know. I know. Well - better late than never, so here is my politically correct update:

Adoption: It's going "well". Slow, but that is to be expected, I suppose. We completed the 3 month foster period, fought with the directors of the orphanage, made several large donations to the orphanage, and finally the directors managed to "feel comfortable" with relinquishing their authority over Tanaya. The horrifying part is that directors of the orphanage are friends of my parents, and live in the same upper-end neighbourhood that we do. It was just so discouraging. Don't even start me on the issue!! Grr.

After that battle, (and yes - it was!!), we waited an additional five months for our first court date, which was on December 11th. Basically we had to show up at the High Court of Kenya (no - don't picture it like that - Imagine a small office on the set of M.A.S.H. - No. I'm serious - 2 desks shoved in a room with stained curtains, and 4 wooden chairs pushed along the wall for us to sit on! "High Court" my arse!!!) The judge was frail and bored. He held his head in his hands most of the time, and basically just took notes (that were already printed out in front of him - don't ask me!), and acted as rudely as possible. Not that I expected much else - other than a proper COURT ROOM!! Gosh.

Now we are waiting for a meeting at the Child Services something-er-other in February, then a home visit from a government social worker, and then we file for another court date. That could be the last court date - the judge could grant us custody on the spot. Or he could ask for an additional document, and thus an additional court date. Who knows!

The good news is that Tanaya is with us, and has shed off most of her bad habits she acquired at the orphanage!! (thank goodness!!)

Well - more as it happens, I suppose. Thank you all for keeping up with me, and especially to 'anonymous" for the much needed kick in the ass to keep writing!!

Best wishes for a devine 2010...

As Time Stands Still...

2009-04-18T16:58:00.002+03:00

Well – GOOD NEWS!!! We are bringing home Tanaya Jean on Tuesday morning at 11am!!! It has been a long ordeal, with difficult to obtain documents, and then a further one week delay waiting for the orphanage to process their paperwork, etc. But now it suddenly seems like it was easy and (relatively) quick!! I am sure the big hassle is still yet to come, as we have the three month foster period to complete, and then the Kenyan court system to navigate our way through. But having her home, and giving her a good bath, and lotion massage, and dressing her up in nice new clothes – I can’t wait!!!

Speaking of which… I should make a countdown ticker!!!! Anyway – 3 more sleeps, and we can bring her home… !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Visit Number Two

2009-03-29T17:38:00.002+03:00

So I took my dad and Barb and sister back out to visit Michelle. She was sitting on the floor in her car seat in a room with al the bigger kids playing around – not THAT is one way to keep a kid awake – let me tell ya!! Gee Wiz. Talk about L O U D !!!!!

Anyway – I picked her up, and as soon as she saw me she GRINNED! Yup. And I am not even making it up to make myself feel good!

She was hungry, and kept nuzzling into me and cramming her fist and/or bib into her mouth. We sat together for awhile, and then I was lucky enough to be there to feed her lunch! I was given a plastic cup with a cereal/formula/milk mixture inside, and a spoon. So I started to feed her with the spoon. She was fussing a bit, and spitting out some of the formula. I looked over at the other lady giving Claudia her lunch, and Claudia was sucking nicely from the side of the cup itself. I did the same with Michelle, and sure enough – she just about finished the whole thing!! It was officially my first “cup feed” – something which I didn’t even think was possible until today!

After she was (extremely) full, we changed her diaper into her first Pampers, and she fell asleep in my arms. Sweet little angel. I tucked her into bed, and had to leave… which is harder than it sounds!!

Diaper Delivery

2009-03-29T07:33:00.001+03:00

So our sweet little girl Michelle happily wears a folded up towel with a piece of thin plastic pinned around it as a diaper. Now I am sure this is normal practice in rural areas, and I certainly appreciate the practicality of it. But to think that Michelle is OUR DAUGHTER, and sitting in a village with a towel and piece of plastic as a diaper… that is just too far off from the reality of OUR family. Meer always had the best, driest diapers we could find – even if we had to import them ourselves! His sweet tooshie has never even experienced a “Regular Pampers”. So today’s mission is to go to Nakumatt and buy as many diapers as I can for Michelle, Claudia, and Obama. And then drive out to the orphanage to deliver them and visit with Michelle with my dad and Barb. I’m not sure if it will count as a visit as far as the adoption goes, but I think it will. I’m bringing an actual camera, so more pictures are on the way!!!

Orphanage

2009-03-28T11:37:00.007+03:00

So this is a google Earth picture of the orphanage. You can tell by the photo that the courtyard within the building is the only outdoor space the orphanage has. When I get more details, I will post them... ;-)

With a Little Leg Work...

2009-03-27T15:24:00.001+03:00

Progress. It is??

2009-03-26T14:25:00.001+03:00

So I spent the morning chasing around the adoption trail… turns out there isn’t a 3 month old baby girl ANYWHERE!!! The ones born in November are already fostered out to adoptive parents. We even went to a different orphanage on this side of town that had reported having a baby girl, but they also turned out to be 7 months old and 1 year old. So that sucks.

Basically we can have our social worker send our paperwork to New Life Homes – which is when they can be open about the status, gender, and ages of the children they have (although the youngest girl they have is 7 months old). Then basically we wait for baby girls to be brought in, and grow up to 3 months in age. I am hoping they have one that is maybe 4 or 6 weeks old, but from what the social worker said – they don’t.

At least our application is officially DONE, and the letter of approval is being signed today, and sent off to New Life… so we are officially in-line! Who would have thunk it, huh??? 2 million orphans, and not one 3 month old healthy baby girl. UGH!!!

I KNOW it is all in God’s time, and when the right daughter for our family comes along, it will work out perfectly… but still so frustrating to be so close, and yet still have nothing tangible. Sigh…

Tick....Tock....

2009-03-25T07:04:00.001+03:00

The Certificates of Good Conduct (criminal background checks) are ready to be collected from the C.I.D. Finally!! So I should see them tonight when dear hubby get’s home from work – then scan them to make a copy for the adoption scrapbook. Tomorrow I am HOPING to go to Little Angels Network and drop them off in the morning as soon as traffic clears up a little. Then scoot by New Life Home Trust to speak with a social worker about which babies are available at this time, etc.

I am being hopeful that there is a new little angel that is just waiting for us, and will be 3 months old in the middle of April. That is what I am REALLY hoping for!!!

Tomorrow Meer is also 1000 days old!!! Yes – the only reason I would ever have known is that handy little ticker at the side of this page – who knew it would be so useful when I installed it years ago, hey??

So that is that. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting….

Paperwork...

2009-03-20T13:15:00.001+03:00

Mission successful! After waiting for a good hour in the parking lot for someone to arrive, we have gotten our finger prints officially taken, and our applications for Certificates of Good Conduct are due out on Monday. How GREAT is that??? So Tuesday I can go and drop them off at Little Angels Network, and then they can immediately refer us to New Life Homes to select our daughter.

We still do have company coming, and it might still work out best for us to bring her home immediately after returning to Nairobi… I suppose we have to wait and see when exactly we can meet our daughter, and take it from there. All in all, a GREAT day!!!

Paperwork Update

2009-03-18T11:54:00.000+03:00

The update is, we have an appointment at C.I.D. (aka: Kenya’s highest police division, called the Criminal Investigation Department) set for Friday morning. Which means – if all goes quickly, we should have our Certificates of Good Conduct (aka: Kenya’s version of a criminal record check) handed over to Little Angels Network sometime next week.

My GOAL is to have our documents completed and handed over before our friends arrive on the 29th. Then while we are busy around town and on safari, our paperwork can be referred to New Life Home Trust, and we can set up an appointment to “select our child” for as soon as we get back from safari – most likely April 13th or 14th. Then my mom will still have about 10 days to visit her grand daughter at the orphanage, and a couple weeks to help us all adjust to the new addition when we FINALLY get to bring her home!!!

So you know what they say about idle hands...

Pink Baby Blanket

2009-03-18T11:41:00.001+03:00

Until all the paperwork and WAITING is over, I am hell bent on keeping busy! I found this stellar wool last weekend when I was trolling for sewing notions on Biashara street. It was all together too expensive, but when I saw the pink with GREEN flecks in it – who could resist?? I could only afford 2 balls at the time, so am making the smallest blanket that is still usable, with the intention of edging it with a crochet pattern of some sort to increase the size once I know how big it will finally be, etc.

I started with 100 stitches across, and then a border of 10 knit stitch on each end of the rows – to make a border of some sort.

I was leery to start purling, but turns out I am faster at that than I am at knitting! Who knew!!

Now all I have to do is get this house put back together, and then I will have a chance at getting it all done before life gets too busy again… fingers crossed for that one!!!

39 Days Later

2009-03-16T11:31:00.003+03:00

Caroline called this morning at 10:42, with the news that the LANS Case Committee sat down last week, and approved our case PENDING the receipt of our Certificates of Good Conduct. SO – that means we are a couple more weeks away from being referred to New Life Homes… which is ok, I guess. I can live with it.

We have guests coming from overseas, so we will be out of Nairobi on Safari from March 30th until April 11th. So as long as we are referred BEFORE we return, I’m ok with it.

The big hold up is that I have never gotten my little plastic "resident card", which is something that we need before I can request a Certificate of Good Conduct from the C.I.D. So that is the jist of it. I have a few ques to line up in, and then we are in the clear. It can take about 2 weeks to get both documents - so 4 weeks in total. Not too keen on waiting that long, but have to wait until tomorrow to see what we can do speed things up. God bless Kenya, hey??? So often the system can work in our favor, and I am hopeful this will be one of those times!!!

So good news, bad news, good news, bad news!!! UGH!!!

Caroline Calls...

2009-03-10T11:53:00.001+03:00

Ok. I’m annoyed. Well – half annoyed. On a good note, we got a phone call from Caroline. On a bad note, she requires some more documentation from us. So that sucks. She says the LANS meeting has yet to be set, and just basically requires these certificates of good conduct. Yeah. So now I have to get on that, and keep waiting… I guess! Gee wiz.

Week One of Waiting

2009-03-02T14:44:00.000+03:00

Still waiting. Have managed to keep very busy around the house… made new shelving units for the bathrooms, and am now filling my Gran’s old dining room hutch with all my sewing bits and pieces! It’s a bigger job than it sounds… have bought every matching storage container Nakumatt has to offer! Everything is organized by type ant then color – with all my thread now officially in one drawer! That’s a first!

Spend 3 days online getting our daughter’s clothing ordered from Please Mum in Canada. My mom is coming over to help when we get the baby, and is willing to lug everything over with her – so that is a fabulous thing! Then my friend Chad is hitting this big sale in a couple weeks time to get all the missing bits – can NOT wait for that one! She is coming over for a visit with her family at the very end of March, so that will work out perfectly well too. (SO excited!!)

Other than that, I’m just trying to keep busy and stay productive. In the dust cloud of my massive cleaning attempts, I found my stash of powder pink alpaca wool… it’s screaming for em to sit on my butt and knit, but I somehow doubt I will be finding the time for a that anytime soon… also found the half knit blue alpaca wool blanket I started for Meer when I was still pregnant, so enough said about that!!! Ha ha ha!! One year, though… one year!!

Went to a different Nakumatt this morning and found a couple more sets of storage containers for the “craft hutch”… off to see how I can get my massive inventory of Velcro to fit inside and look pretty… dare I say it’s the last items that need to find a home in the hutch! Day number three though – it certainly didn’t happen over night!!

Home Visit Completed!!

2009-02-24T11:21:00.004+03:00

Oh my goodness. Where to even begin. Well, it took all of about 7 minutes. She came in and asked to be toured around the house... which I did. She said it was "very nice". Her main concern was how many people lived in the house, and where the baby would be sleeping. She took notes on teh back of a folded piece of paper, and that was about it.

On the way out to her car I asked her when the LANS Case Committee would be meeting. I don't know if it is just the standard answer, or the truth, but she said it could be between 2 and 3 WEEKS. (GASP!!!) I have been asking her everytime I see her about when the next LANS meeting will be, and she always says "It is not set yet". But when I first went into Little Angels Network, I asked another gal, and she said that adoption had increased in Kenya since the first time we applied, and that the case committee was meeting TWICE A MONTH. So I just don't know. Being out of control of the situation just SUCKS!!!

Anyway - I'm completely bummed out... although slightly cheery that the house looks so great! Imagine. But I still just want to hop into bed and watch bad movies on teh Hallmark channel until... sometime in March!!! Ah - so annoying....

Waiting...

2009-02-24T07:21:00.003+03:00

2 1/2 hours until the Home Visit.

The house is in fine shape - dare I say even clean, attractive, and fabulous!! Other than washing the dog prints off the front porch, and putting out teh new welcome Mat - we are golden!!

Now I just need time to pass quickly, so I can start another project and make a mess! ha ha ha!!

Baby Options

2009-02-23T08:23:00.003+03:00

The minimum age for adoption in Kenya is 6 weeks, but the orphanage we have selected has a strict rule of the minimum age being 3 months old. Their reasoning behind it is half medical, half legal… The medical part is obvious – the health and developmental ability of the children can be assessed quite well by three months of age. The legal part I am a bit more confused about… the social worker at New Life Home Trust explained it to me (twice – shh!), but I didn’t have the courage to keep questioning her until I understood it completely. The jist of it that there is a six week period where the parents can come back and claim the child, or something like that. Or it’s a form that takes 6 weeks to process in the courts? I don’t exactly know – but something like that. Basically New Life Home Trust waits until the health of the child is confirmed, and the legal status of the child is confirmed. Thus the minimum age of 3 months to adopt. (heavy sigh.)

Anyway – they have two baby girls that are around “the right age” to be adopted. One was born on November 4th, and the other on November 26th. Apparently one of my Aunts was born on November 4th!! …she had breast cancer, and passed on a couple years ago. So that is pretty cool… NOT that my Aunt passed on, of course, but that there is a baby waiting to be adopted that was born on her birthday. ;-)

Our other option is to see if any baby girls are available at New Life Home Trust’s orphanage in Mombasa. If there is, we can fly out there and meet them/her, and adopt from there.

Or we can wait until another baby girl becomes 3 months old… I’m not sure how many younger baby girls they have though.

Technically we can also switch orphanages and choose a 6 week old baby girl from somewhere else. I really don’t want to do that, as New Life is the “best” orphanage in Kenya, and I obviously want our daughter to have received the absolute best care and medical attention before we can provide for her ourselves.

Now waiting to be approved is absolute AGONY… I don’t know what else I can paint, remodel, or build, to keep me occupied until we are, but I most certainly will have to keep myself swamped with projects – just to keep my sanity!!

Big Brother Training 101

2009-02-22T06:51:00.004+03:00

I have been trying to get Meer used to the idea of having a new baby around the house… I put a teddy bear in a baby carrier sling and walked around the house... The first couple times Meer was quite disturbed by it and would instruct me to take the teddy bear out, and put Meer inside instead!! So I did, and lugged Meer around in a back breaking sling pretending he was my “tiny little baby straight from the hospital”! We have a rule too – “Baby’s don’t talk.” So if he is playing baby – he can’t use any words. That makes the game last only so long, before our Big Boy is back and eager to show us how tall he is! We pretend we are all shocked that a baby could grow up so fast, and everyone has a good laugh.

I have been looking for a “brown” baby doll to use instead of a fuzzy teddy bear, but was unsuccessful until last week, when I found a brown baby doll at a grocery store across town. The quality isn’t there (of course!!), but for the $20 it cost, I think it is still well worth it, if only to get Meer desensitized to the look of a little baby around the house. It’s kind of a cute doll too – it has a squishy body, and cries if it doesn’t have a bottle or pacifier in it's mouth.

Now when Meer is playing, or is engrossed in some activity, we make the baby cry and ask Meer to help us make the baby stop crying. Meer will stop what he is doing right away to come over and instruct me that the baby needs milk, and will push the bottle right into the baby’s mouth and hold it there, and say, “Stop crying baby... it’s OK.” It is SO cute!! Originally the baby used to make a sucking sound, and the bottle would move up and down a bit, but with Meer’s help to feed her, it now just makes a mechanical groaning noise and the bottle doesn’t move one bit. I went back to the grocery store and bought another one – so we have a spare for when this one breaks... which seems inevitable and in our near future!!

About 5 days into the experiment Meer now isn’t possessive of me when the baby is around. He has figured out that the baby is just more work for someone, and this morning even suggested that I hold the baby while it drinks it’s milk instead of putting in it’s bed.

Naturally we applaud him like crazy for being caring towards the doll, and he is really relishing all the praise he gets for being “such a good big brother”!! Here is a picture of Meer the first time he gave the baby doll it's bottle...

Waiting for the Home Visit

2009-02-20T15:26:00.002+03:00

Less than 4 days until the home visit. Not that is matters one bit how “organized” our home is, considering asking if we having flush toilets is the main question on the application!! But regardless, I’m all in a fluff to have it actually functional, and livable, and COMPLETED, before Caroline gets here… at 10:00 Tuesday morning!!

For the past 2 weeks I have actually completely removed and replaced EVERYTHING – with thorough cleaning done in between. Every room in the house now has a purpose that suits our lifestyle (good bye formal dining room), and works for our family. What a freaking CHORE!! I’m at a stage now where the once cleaned and organized garage (I started in there) is now the current dumping ground for boxed that I have low-to-no motivation to unpack… my only concern is how to stack them higher! Ha ha ha!! Yeah. Not joking.

In a perfect world I would have about 2 more bookcases for my books, and a SERIOUS wallunit or “hutch” for my sewing and craft supplies. But until then, the house is pretty much in working order, and even… dare I say… looking pretty good!!

Yesterday I made fresh curtains for the Toy Room – a cute little blue, yellow and red print on a white background. It has made the room super fresh! Today I emptied the “wine cabinet” and converted it into a much needed book case in the new office (was the dining room). Now I am dealing with the last bits of… crap… that seem to be cluttering up the surfaces – particularly in the kitchen! I’m inclined to get a few more empty boxes and just start filling them up and stacking them in the garage!! How horrible of me is that??? Well… I just might do it…

Ok. Off to find the boxes!! ;-)

Pre-Adoption Counseling

2009-02-17T19:06:00.000+03:00

We had our “Pre-Adoption Counseling” this morning! We met at Little Angels Network, and spoke with a LOVELY lady named of Jane. She was about our age, has a daughter that is six years old that is going to same school that Kush did. Talking to her was more than pleasant! Imagine.

Now I have my Individual Interview on Thursday, and then a Home Visit on Tuesday the 24th. After that all we have to do is wait for the Case Committee to meet and approve us!

Oh yes. So after our counseling, I went to New Life Home Trust to see if I could speak with their social worker. I spoke with a lady by the name of Grace. She was also extremely pleasant and informative. Turns out the minimum age to adopt from New Life Home Trust is three months old. Their reason being 1) the legal rights of the parents being null and void, and also the confirmed health of the child. The BAD NEWS is that they only have TWO baby girls that 3 months old!! Can you imagine? ALL the rest are boys.

Which got me to thinking – every time we are there, it seems like just boys are playing outside. Turns out it is a cultural trend on this side, that has gotten worse in the past few years – most abandoned babies are boys. I told Kasimbi (our houseman) about it on the way home, and he said, “Oh – that is the Luhya’s. A girl cannot marry if she has a boy child.” I was like – “WHAT???” I mean – seriously. It’s 2009. Anyway – it is what it is. We have 2 girls to choose from – one born November 4th, and one born November 26th. NO – I didn’t see them, or anything – we have to wait to be approved first…. Well, I COULD have seen them, but how hard would that be?? To leave a sweet baby there for weeks on end??

Anyway – after we are approved, we go to visit the child 6 times – one of which includes us taking the child to our own pediatrician for a check-up and whatever tests our doctor suggests, etc. Then we bring the baby home! We have to bring her back to the orphanage every two weeks until the legal adoption process starts, and then monthly until we have legally adopted her.

Some babies that have been abandoned at the hospitals have a record of their mother’s name – so that is optimistic! Not that I want to find the woman, or anything, but I imagine it would be reassuring to the child to have a name, at least.

So that’s it!! Waiting until Thursday morning at 9am….

The Joint Interview

2009-02-11T13:01:00.002+03:00

We had our Joint Interview this morning! It went well. We met our social worker – Caroline – who is a nice young lady, very polite, etc. Just asked the usual questions about our marriage, how we met, what we expect from our adopted child(?), how our finances are, etc. It took about 45 minutes, and most of it was waiting for Caroline to write down what we had said.

On Tuesday we go for counseling – which is now done at Little Angels Network offices – the same place as our interviews. That is a step up, since the last time we had to drive around a dingy part of town looking for parking, and then wander up a grimy and dirty stairwell to find our counselors office! So the change is definitely a good thing.

Next Thursday I go for my Individual Interview – mostly questions about my own family, and the like. And then the following Tuesday (February 24th), Caroline comes to our house for a “Home Visit”. That is the last of the pre-requisites before our application goes to the LANS Case Committee to be decided upon. (YIPPEE!!)

I’m a bit BUMMED OUT that our appointments are SO spaced out. That sucks. But I am trying to convince myself that even if we had them all done within the next few days, we still might have to wait just as long for the LANS Case Committee to set a meeting date…. Right? Well – let’s see. Fingers crossed!!!

Progress!!!

2009-02-06T16:34:00.000+03:00

We handed in our application yesterday, and got a phone call from our new social worker – Caroline – today! Our joint interview is set for Wednesday morning at 9:00!!! Yee haw!! I’m SO thrilled. So that is all good news.

I have been working on the framework of a lifebook… making chapters for the various topics, and then questions that we need to find answers for as our journey progresses. I’ve changed it like 6 times!! I think it is pretty good now – NOT the version I have posted below. I have added a few more chapters (25 in total), and changed the wording to “Your Birth Day”, “Your Birth Parents”, etc. I have a page with questions on it for each topic, which I will keep with us during the entire adoption process – to write down answers, facts, full names, quotes, etc.

I lucked out and found some quite lovely locally produced cardstock to make the actual lifebooks from, and it comes in a variety of colors. I have used the chapter headings to arrange the blank pages in a binder with pager protector sleeves… the idea being I will have a place ready to assemble the lifebook as the story unfolds, with the flexibility to add and remove pages.

Anyway – That is about as far as I have gotten so far.

Oh! And now the LANS Committee meets twice a month to decide over the adoption applications, so we might not have to wait as long to get approved as we did before!! Adoption rates have doubled in Kenya over the past year (fabulous!!), and now about 12 children are adopted through our agency (Little Angels Network) every month. So that is great news, although still quite a small number compared to the vast number of orphans.
;-D

Lifebook Progress

2009-02-04T14:15:00.002+03:00

I am making a "lifebook" for our future adopted child. A Lifebook is like a scrapbook that tells the story of their lives from the time they were born up until they are legally adopted into our family. It answers many of the questions an adopted child would have, is a tool to discussing adoption openly, and gives value to the early part of the child's life.

My goal is to have the framework done – and bound into a spiral book – that I can keep with me during the adoption process and ask and write down as many questions as I can think of... Can you think of any questions and/or topics that would be helpful to YOU, if you had been adopted? Any areas of your early life that would be important later on? The more questions the better, so if you ahve any suggestions, please let me know by commenting below this post.

Here is the framework I have done so far…

The Day I was Born
What date was I born?
Where was I born?
Who helped me?
What was the weather like?
What day of the week was it?

My Birth Parents
What information do we have about my birth mother?
How can we get more information about my birth mother?
What information de we have about my birth father?
How can we get more information about my birth father?
What are the traditions in Kenya for having babies?
Why did my birth parents give me up for adoption?
Did my birth parents love me?

When I Arrived at New Life Home Trust
When did I arrive at New Life Home Trust?
Where did I sleep when I first arrived?
How long did I stay there for?
Are there any pictures of me when I arrived?
Did I cry a lot when I first arrived?
Was I hungry?
Who was the first person to look after me?

My Medical Details
How was my health when I arrived?
How much did I weigh?
How tall was I?
How big was my head?
How was my health after 2 weeks?
How was my health after 1 month?
How was my health before my parents took me home?
Was I HIV Positive when I arrived?
Was I HIV+ when my parents took me home?

My Caretakers & What They Said
Who looked after me during the day?
Who looked after me at night?
Who was my favorite caretaker?
What did my caretakers say about me?
How did my caretakers sooth me when I was upset?.
What are the full names of the caretakers who looked after me?

My Daily Routine
What was my routine at New Life Family Trust?
What was my favorite thing to do?
What was my favorite thing to eat?
What was my favorite toy?
What was my favorite song?
Who was my favorite playmate?

When We First Met
What did you think when you first saw me?
What did you feel when you first saw me?
What did mama say?
What did daddy say?
What was I wearing?
Where was I?
What was I doing?
What did I say or do?
How did you know I belonged in our family?
How long after we met did you bring me home?
Why did it take so long?

Our Visits
How often did you come to see me?.
Was I happy to see you?
Did I know who you were?
What did we do together?
How many visits did we have before I was allowed to come home with you?
Was I sad when you had to leave?
How long did you stay with me on each visit?
Were you sad to leave me behind?
Did my brother come to visit me too?
Did Meer play with me when he visited?

When I Arrived at Home
When did I arrive at home with my parents?
Who came to visit me?
What preparations did my family make for me?
What did my brother think of me coming home?
How did we spend our first day together?
Did I sleep well in my new bed?
Was I scared?
Did I miss my caretakers and friends from New Life Home Trust?

Foster Period
What is a "Foster Period"?How long did the Foster period last?
How did my routine change?
How did my family's routine change?
What did people say when they met me?
When did Meer first show that he loved me?
What did Meer do to show that he loved me?
When did I first show that I loved Meer?
What did I do to show that I loved Meer?

Little Angels
What was the full name of our social worker?
What did he/she say about me?
How many visits did we have?
Where did we meet?
What did mama and daddy do during our visits?
What did I do while the social worker was visiting?
Did I enjoy the visits?

Counseling
What was the full name of our counselor?
What did we discuss during our talks?
How many times did we visit with him/her?
Where did we meet for our talks?
What did I do during our talks?
Did I enjoy our visits with the counselor?

Legal Proceedings
Date, Time, Event, Outcome...

Getting My Passports
When did I get my first Passport?
How old was I when I got my first passport?
What country was my first passport from?
When did I get my second passport?
How old was I when I got my second passport?
What country was my second passport from?

Celebrating My Legal Adoption
How did we celebrate my adoption becoming legal?
What was the date?
What day of the week was it?
What was the weather like?
Who came to share the day?
Did I receive any gifts?
Did I enjoy the party?
What did I do during the party?

What People Said About Me
Date: Name: Comment:

What Matters in a Family
1)
2)
3)

My Name
What is my full name?
What do my names mean?
Who picked my names?
Why did you pick the names you did?
How many names did you choose from?
How did you choose my names?
What was my name at New Life Family Trust?

My Heritage
What tribe am I from?
How can we find out what tribe I am from?
What traditions are important to my people?
What are the traditional rules for having babies?
What are the jobs that a mama would do?
What are the jobs that a daddy would do?
What are the jobs for children to do?
What would they do for fun?

All About Kenya
How old is Kenya?
What people live in Kenya?
What tribe do I come from?
What food do Kenyans eat?
What traditions do Kenyans have?
What are the National Holidays?
How do we celebrate each holiday?
What does a Kenyan person value?
What does a Kenyan person pride the most?
What makes being Kenyan special?

Time Capsule
What was happening in Kenya when I was born?
What was happening in the world when I was born?
Who were the popular actors?
What was the popular music?
What was the price of Milk in Kenya? Canada? USA?
What was the price of petrol in Kenya? Canada? USA?
What was the weather like?
What famous people were born on the same day?

Lifebooks: Getting Past the Initial Hurdle

2009-02-02T08:35:00.001+03:00

Creating a lifebook may seem like a daunting task, especially when there is not an abundance of information about your child’s life before becoming a part of your family. It is actually easy and fun…once you get past that initial hurdle: "How do I start?"

That question is answered based on how much information you have available. Some adoptive parents (especially with domestic adoptions) have access to volumes of information about their child’s early life and may have a relationship with a birthmother that is very open to sharing intimate details. If you’re in this group, consider yourself lucky! You may be asking the question from the standpoint of how you should organize the wealth of information and myriad of photographs you have at your fingertips!

Other adoptive parents don’t have very much in the way of information or resources at all. For example, in an international adoption, an adoptive parent may not even know the birthmother’s name, the specific date and time or place of a child’s birth or a reason given for the adoption plan. If you fit this category, don’t worry! There are ways to address that lack of information.

For example, one of the most important pages in a lifebook is the one that describes the biological mother. Oftentimes several pages are dedicated to this special person in your child’s life. Ideally, you would have a full-length, high-quality color photo of her, but you may not even have a grainy, black and white facsimile of her profile from the shoulders up! In that case, you could always write something along the lines of:

"Did you know that something in your body called DNA, given to you by your birthparents, is responsible for the features that you have? Your birthmother passed on some of her physical traits to you. Because you have beautiful, light brown, wavy hair, chances are good that your birthmother did too!"

Where the specific date and time or place of a child’s birth is unknown, using maps and historical weather data can provide meaningful content for the lifebook page dealing with the child’s birth. Let’s say, for instance, that you don’t know the exact date and time of birth. One way to address this is to say:

"We think you were born during the summer of 2002 because the orphanage director said that when you came to the orphanage, you were about the same size as other children that were born then. And, although we don’t know the specific day, summers in Moscow are typically rather mild, about 70 degrees. I’ll bet the sun was shining extra bright on the day you were born."

If you don’t have specifics on the place of birth but want to give a good reference point, download a map from the internet that shows a town or region where your child was likely born, including landmarks or topography, if possible. Kids love maps!
Something else kids love is devotion. Your devotion to starting (and completing) a lifebook will be very much appreciated by your child. Hopefully this article helps you get past the initial hurdle if you were worried about the lack of material suited to such an important endeavor!

*****Written by Jennifer Demar, adoptive parent of two and owner of www.scrapandtell.com, an online store specializing in adoption scrapbooking supplies and multi-cultural products perfect for lifebooks.

Weekend Update

2009-02-01T18:23:00.000+03:00

I cannot believe it has only been 4 days since my driver collected the application form. It feels like a WEEK! We have the all the identification copies, and the medical reports filled out. Now it is just a matter of getting the criminal check done – which we can do tomorrow morning. It’s safe to say it has been the longest weekend I have in memory!!

I have all these attractive color coded files going on – for incomplete forms, complete forms, original documents, and things to add to the baby’s “adoption scrapbook”. I started a scrapbook back in 2007 during our first time applying. Kept a copy of everything required, and stuck it all in a nice locally made scrapbook. This time around I am putting most everything in attractively labeled envelops, and sticking the envelops in the scrap book – takes up less room, and I am not sure how much documentation will be given to use during the entire adoption process. Ideally I want everything in the one scrapbook – from the time we started in 2007, up until the child is legally a member of our family. After that I can start on the “Life Book” – or even as soon as the child is living with us.

Have you noticed I have an issue calling the child a HER? I don’t know what it is. I think I ma leaving it open a bit – incase a baby boy chooses us instead! I mean – until you are in the room looking around – who knows what will happen. Right??

Anyway – back to the Life Book idea. I know I posted some fabulous stuff about it in 2007, so no doubt should go back through the blog and brush up on it again. Make sure I am collecting all the right stuff and information for it.

Well – that is about it for me. Scrapbooking to my hearts content, and ANXIOUS to get the criminal record check thing done. The sooner we do it, the sooner it is back. And the sooner it is back… well – the sooner we can really get MOVING with the adoption. Can’t be soon enough, if you ask me!

Paperwork Update

2009-01-30T08:27:00.002+03:00

In the past year, the documentation required to adopt within Kenya has been slightly changed… we now have to supply a “Certificate of Good Conduct”, which is basically a criminal check done on both adoptive parents. Good idea, and everything, but adds a week onto the time it will take us to apply to adopt. :-(

I wanted to have all our paperwork handed in today, but with the new requirements, I am now aiming to drop everything off next Friday... February the 6th. Let's see!!

Back on Track

2009-01-28T14:19:00.002+03:00

Greetings, everyone!! So - I know. 2009. Life has a way of blurring by, until something triggers a change in our paths... Anyway - good news! We are back on track for adopting a Kenyan baby!!! yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our paperwork and approval has all expired, so we are starting the process all over again... today! My driver is picking up the paperwork just now, and I am hoping that tomorrow he can scoot around to get the various forms filled out and signed. Then we begin the interview process - one joint interview, and then individual ones. And a councelling session as well - always fun! ;-D

Anyway - one step at a time. The good thing is we have been through all this before, so it's not as daunting as it was the first time around. Phew!

Fingers crossed we can get aproved quickly... Last time I think it took about a month - the panel only has one meeting per month, so it's luck of the draw when it comes to how long you have to wait for it. Anyway - SO excited!!
;-D

Meer's Third Day of School

2008-04-25T18:34:00.001+03:00

Meer woke up for his third day of school with BAGS under his eyes! I asked him if wanted to go to school, and he said, "Home?"!! We got ready for school anyway, but by the time we got to the car, it was apparent that his mood wasn't in the excellent category! So we bailed and played hookie instead! Poor guy was so excited by it all he hadn't been sleeping nicely in his naps OR during the night – tossing and turning violently with words like "FAST! Fast! Fast… fast… fa…" and "FLOWER!" (his word for drawing – drawing flowers). He fell asleep by 10am that morning, too!

So today was his third day – he went with Josaphine – and participated in all the lessons right up until STORY TIME – which he flatly said was "NOT NICE", and refused to stay in the room with the other kids!! Ha ha ha! Josaphine called me, and I came to pick him up about 20 minutes early. But he hung in there with the other kids for over three hours!

He also came home with his FIRST ART PROJECT EVER – a necklace made of string, straws, and paper squares. SO cute! And… he refused to go to sleep when he came home! Stayed awake the entire afternoon – playing – running around – like it what he did everyday! Little booger. Until of course 5:30 rolled around – he crashed hard and was sleeping by 5:35! Woops. Just hoping he sleeps straight through…

ANYWAY – that is the big news. Think we might try going to school Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday off, then back for Thursday and Friday. I guess we will have to see how it goes!

Well – off to rest while the resting is good!

Love and light…

Meer's Second Day at School

2008-04-23T15:03:00.001+03:00

... or shall I say, "The Longest Four Hours of my Life"!!!

So it is safe to say that Meer likes school - he was happy to wave goodbye to Daddy and Kasimbi this morning - all pleased to get in his car seat, and sat like a perfectly quiet angel all the way to school. We went in together (Josaphine was with us), and changed our shoes. My New Best Friend - a 3 year old named Elizabeth - came running over - to tell me her Mommy wasn't there! I told her it was because she was such a big girl, and we walked into the outdoor "practical area" where the children were sitting down at a table playing with a variety of balls, beads, bits, and bobs.

Meer sat down at the table beside Elizabeth - who immediately confiscated Meer's beads! Meer took it quite well, and happily accepted a replacement set of prickly colored balls. A teacher came over and stood behind them - helping both of them with their hand-eye coordination, etc. I took the opportunity to take Josaphine and tour her around the place. She was impressed with all the different rooms, and variety of activities, etc.

ANYWAY - Josaphine waited in a nearby room in case Meer needed a translator, or help of any kind, and I... left! It was even MORE weird than yesterday. I did a quick shop at Nakumatt, and then went to Gigiri house to wait. I timed it - and it was about a 60 second to drive back to the school in case Meer wanted me... I waited. Then I waited. Time actually went backwards. It was for EVER! Josaphine called me at snack time to tell me that Meer was having a great time, and saying that he was "happy" when he was asked! So that was great. I waited for another phone call, but never got one. IMAGINE - he didn't even want his mother. Sigh.

I waited the full 4 hours, and went back at 12:30 to collect him. Some of the other parents were there picking up their kids, and Meer was so sleepy he was almost falling over!! NOT joking. Apparently Elizabeth had been taking him by the hand, and running around with him outside - going down the slide, playing around - having a GREAT time! So no wonder he didn't miss me!

AND - I even made a trip to the gym at Village to get a YOGA SCHEDULE!!! NOT JOKING. Basically they have 2 classes a week that fit in perfectly with Meer's new schedule - 9:00 - 10:30. So that sure will be lovely! It has been YEARS since I have exercised... I can "feel the burn" already!

Anyway - that is about all I can think of just now.

Love and light...

Meer's First Day of School

2008-04-22T13:40:00.005+03:00

Well - HOW EXCITING! Meer has a fantastic first day at school! He was a bit shy - didn't want to play in the same room as the rest of the kids. But was totally happy hanging out without Kasimbi and I for about 2 hours straight! Then he wanted Kasimbi - I think mostly because he was hungry. After a snack, he was fine going around with the teachers.

Tomorrow they asked me to just drop him off - Kasimbi and I both not stay with him. I basically said NO, and suggested that Josaphine stay with him instead. I mean - my version of school for Meer at this stage in his life (he turns two at the end of June), is purely enjoyment. And any sort of seperation anxiety is absolutely unacceptable at this stage in his development!

The rest of the kids are super cute and great - only 11 students total, so it is a nice small group. There are a few charmers - sweet little talkative girls, and couple boys that don't want to really speak, but want to stand very close to me! Sweet little hunnies.

I scooted off for a bit this morning - sans Meer. It was SO freaky! I can't even say that I liked it. I felt all weird and guilty - like I was a bad mom, or something! Well - not really, but it was weird. I found myself speedwalking through Nakumatt so I could get back "just incase" he needed me... which he didn't!

The rest of the kids are between the ages of 3 and 6. So Meer is the definately the youngest. His attention span is short as well... about 5 minutes, and then he wants to see something new. Having about 10 different rooms with new stuff in them doesn't help! Apparently one of the other young girls did the same thing for the first month that she was there - just going around from room to room exploring. After the month, she began to follow the group and participate with the rest of the kids.

Meer is enrolled in the morning class - 8:30 - 12:30, Monday to Friday. We are going again tomorrow morning - with Josaphine in tow! Let's see if he keeps on enjoying it as much as he did today!

And WHAT am I going to do with my TIME?? I will have practically FIFTEEN HOURS A WEEK all by myself... IMAGINE! Weird...

Well - I am TRYING to upload a photo or two for you, but my connection is too slow... sigh... HEY! Maybe I will take my laptop and go and sit at Java House for a few hours tomorrow morning! They have free wireless internet - and it is faster, and really close to Meer's school! Yet another brain wave hits me!

Love and light...

... is it still 2008??

2008-04-21T20:52:00.002+03:00

Yes - I KNOW - long time, and no update what-so-ever. Horrible of me. True. In any event - we are all alive and well - and happily back in Kenya!

Life in Kenya is wonderful. Absolutely great. Meer is LOVING it! Today we went to see a new Montessori preschool that is nearby... it was 4pm when we got there, so all the kids and teachers had left for the day, but there was an askari who let us in, and then an employee dude of some sort showed up to tour us around.... A good thing, considering Meer had already cased half the place!! ha ha ha! They have converted a house into a school, basically. Every room has a different theme: Nature, Human Body, Space, Numbers, etc. There are cubbie holes for the children's shoes - with their names and pictures on cute laminated cards on each cubbie. (and we all know how many points I assign for proper laminating! ha ha ha!)

So Meer walked around everywhere looking and saying the words excitedly for everything he saw. He found these marble type plastic beads that can be sorted out into a compartmentalized tray, and that was the end of it - we couldn't peel him away or get him back intothe car without a HUGE protest! I always imagined driving away from preschool to the sounds of a screaming child - but I always thought it would be because I was leaving them behind, not taking them with me! ha ha ha!!

I called the head of the school when we got home and asked it Meer could join them for the last month of the semester. The school is really for 3 - 6 year olds, but Meer has been welcomed to join them - starting tomorrow!!! NATURALLY Kasimbi (our houseman) and I will stay there with him. Half day runs from 8:30 until 12:30, so let's see how long Meer lasts! I have this fantasy of dropping Meer and Kasimbi off at school, and then going to the gym for a yoga class... IMAGINE!

The school is small - probably around 12 kids? One of the pictures on the cubbies was of our neighbour's daughter - Yein. (Korean) So this afternoon I saw her mom out in her yard, so we had a chat over the fence. I was all happy to tell her that Meer will be going to school with her daughter tomorrow, and she was like, "Oh REALLY? You no tell me! I get you discount!! The owner is Korean!!" HOW HANDY!

Anyway - that really IS the latest!

Thanks for kicking me in the butt and getting me to post again.
Love to all...

Blurb from the Kenya Buzz

2008-01-25T09:55:00.001+03:00

I COULDN'T HAVE SAID THIS BETTER MYSELF!! .......

"About three or four years ago, crime and car-jacking dominated discussions at cocktail parties across Nairobi. The past couple of years, gridlock traffic and the stock market/economy were more popular, a reflection of the thriving economy. Towards the end of 2007, there was a slight bias towards political discussion but it wasn't yet more popular than the traffic issue because everyone thought it would be business as usual no matter who won at the polls. If you have dared to leave the safety of your house at night and have started back on the cocktail circuit, you will have noticed that there is now no other discussion but politics. Everyone is reeling with disbelief over the current state of affairs. And yet in hindsight, not really surprised at all!

Every New Year is a time for optimism and fresh starts. We had our hopes, our plans and our dreams for great things in 2008. Now all hangs in the balance; the future so unpredictable and frustration is in the air. People want to be optimistic and it seems like it wouldn't be so hard just to "get back to normal" but at this point "normal" will be a facade when landlords are throwing out tenants of different tribes, companies are firing people of different ethnic backgrounds and killing and burning continues around the country.

There may be a fix to the political stalemate as Kofi Annan arrives to help our leaders negotiate a settlement. This may even lead to the economy bouncing back and people getting on their feet again financially. But a comfortable political settlement and a thriving economy won't put us back where we were at the end of last year. There is a tremendous amount of emotional healing that is needed in Kenya. And it would be a terrible mistake to overlook this and hide behind a peaceful facade. Tribal issues need to be addressed explicitly and openly, perhaps through a truth and reconciliation commission. If glossed over, tribalism in Kenya will only brew and simmer beneath the surface to rear its ugly head again at the next election or other trigger event.

Let's share the vision that by next election, everyone will again be safe and welcome anywhere in Kenya.

WE WISH YOU PEACE AND PROSPERITY IN 2008 FROM KENYABUZZ."

http://www.kenyabuzz.com/

Dubai Update

2008-01-18T23:28:00.001+03:00

Yes - we are still alive and breathing! Seems a day or two after Meer's recoverty from the flu, I we both got a pretty rough cold! Luckily Meer's only lasted a day or so, but as for me - I am still honking the snauze and fillling up tissues like a trucker! Imagine. A few days were pretty bad... aches and pains, but now we seem to be almost better! And really - there are worse things than filling up tissues to the brim! ha ha ha!!

Anyway - Meer is being a real champion. He is at a really sweet stage of almost being able to ask for what he wants - well - he CAN, but sometimes he needs to be reminded to use his words instead of "that"!

He fell really badly a couple days ago - went to "climb up" a cheap metal stool, but obviously it came tumbling down ontop of him - fell back on the tile floor lke a plank, basically - with a stool chaser! Got a big goose egg on the back of his head, and then a doozy on the front of his head! YES - he continued to make the most of his hard skull for the rest of the day - bashed his temple ont he cupboard door, and then dinged himself again on soemthing else. All in all - by the time the next day rolled around - he was headbutting shelves for FUN, basically! ha ha ha! Poor little guy. STILL has a big green and purple bruise cover about half of his forehead!

So ya. Thomas is the new thing. The satelite tv was out one day (during heavy rains - and yes - we are in the DESERT!!) we watched Thomas dvd's as a family... Kush was like, "It's like a SOAP OPERA!!!" Go figure. And considering Meer has just about everything from his favorite toy store (great staff, and a demo of everything for the kids to play with in the store!!), we are now collecting him the Thomas train stuff! And to be serious - it is quite pricey - it adds up in a hurry. So instead of getting something he might get bored of, we get him a piece or two of Thomas the Train.

ANYWAY - it is late already, so I am going to be lame and hop into bed!

More as it happens... or shortly there after! ha ha ha!

;-D

Happy Christmas Eve!

2007-12-24T12:13:00.001+03:00

HEY!!!

So yes - we are really enjoying our stay in Dubai - at a place called "Habtoor Resort and Spa"... have yet to see the "spa", part, though! Really it is just a hotel with a big pool and private beach. They have a bunch of stuff for kids - play area, pools, water slides, etc, so there are a LOT of other families here. It's pretty good.

In the New Year we move back into an apartment we stayed at before (without a kids pool), so until then Meer is going to be water-logged from all the time we are spending in the pool! Kush takes him down this water slide - it is SO great to see Meer so happy!

Wishing you all a VERY Merry Christmas...

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-17T08:26:00.001+03:00

Yes - yes. We actually ARE alive!!!

We have been back in Nairobi for the past couple weeks - what a treat! I mean - I love Dubai, but there is something so great about being back in your own house... ya know? Speaking of which, we are leaving for Dubai again this week! Just trying to find suitable accomodation, etc. The good thing about being there for so long, is we have a big long list of suitable places - nice spots that offer 2 bedroom apartment type rooms. Thing is - it's booked for the holidays!~ The best I could find still leaves us kicked out for the four days around New Years...

Anyway - that is that.

Adoption is still on the stove - just shoved onto a back burner until Kush is finished with his work in Dubai. Hopefully in the early part of the New Year!

So ya... that is the story. On a GOOD note - I will be dragging my laptop with me this time - so I will still be in touch!

MUCH love and holiday cheer...

Christa.

Happy Hhalloween

2007-10-31T21:54:00.001+03:00

HEY Everybody!

SORRY for being MIA for so long - we have been in Dubai for the past month or so - time reeally flies!

Kush has a bunch of work here, so Meer and I have been hanging out... toy stores, book stores with children's reading areas, glass elevators, escalators - those are the hot spots. We even have a toy store with a bubble machine - so we go and play in the bubbles once or twice a day at least!

We have even managed to meet some fellow Canadians here! Mostly (ok - ALL) from the East Coast!! One lady works for a company that iis building a hospital here for travel tourism, and another lady is a fabulous real estate chic! Anyway...

This morning we were playing around the business center of the hotel - it's a fancy marble aand glass type deal, with seating on one side, and a suspended walkway through the center - tres chic, really. Anyway - Meer went running over to his spot - the wall of windows with drapes behind the sofas - he loves to shake the snott out of the drapery cords!

Anyway - sitting alone on one of the sofas was this Arab woman - covered head to toe in black. Even her face was covered with a black scarf. I smiled as I ran past with Meer, and she moved a bit -- so I figured that was friendly!! The she pulled the scarf up over her head and started cooing at Meer! Obviously she was a grandma - she was making all these lovely soft clucking noises etc! Anyway - she was wearing this very interesting thing - as I have never seen underneath a woman's head scarf before - (forgive my ignorance please!!) - it was this beautiful golden object that coverd her mouth, so that when she spoke nobody could see her lips... it is SOO hard to explain!!!! It also had a thin band of gold across her forehead too. I wish I could explain it better! I told Kush about it, and he was like, "Oh - she's LOADED."' (meaning really really rich). I dunno! Anyway - Meer ran off after his dad, and then I carried him back to say bye too her. I wish I spoke Arabic!! I don't know what she was saying, and it sucked. I am pretty sure Salam means Hi or bye - same as hebrew... that's what it sounded like, anyway. So there is a little snippet of a day-in-the-life... you know when you are in the Middle East when... huh?? ha ha ha!!

Anyway... we are here for another week or two, I think.

Missing you all...
Christa.

Toddler Activites - Nesting and Stacking

2007-09-30T08:10:00.000+03:00

1) When choosing nesting and stacking toys for your toddlers, look for those that have only a few pieces. Toys with too many pieces to figure out can frustrate toddlers.

2) Make a nesting game for your children by collectintog paper cups in three or four different sizes. Place the cups, right side up, on a table. Show the children how to place the cups inside one another, starting with the largest cup. A set of measuring cups also works well.

3) Boxes make a nice nesting game. Set out three or four boxes in different sizes for your children to nest together.

4) Purchase plastic eggs in small, medium, and large sizes. Put one of each size together to make a fun nesting toy for spring.

5) A nesting set of pots makes a great toy. Your toddlers will love experimenting with them to find out just how they can nest together.

6) Toddlers especially enjoy stacking rings. You can purchase commercially make stacking rings or you can make your own. A small bathroom plunger and some shower curtain rings or large metal canning jar rings make a fun game.

7) You can also make a stacking rings game out of a wooden bottle-drying rack and some old napkin rings. Have your children put the rings on the dowels of the rack.

8) Make a different kind of stacking toy by cutting the tops and bottoms off plastic 2-liter bottles to make cylinders. Cover the cylinders with self-stick paper, if you wish. Show your children how to stack the cylinders on top of each other.

9) Collect several small plastic containers that are all the same size. Let your children stack and unstack them.

10) For an unusual stacking game, collect plastic cups and saucers. Show your children how to stack them by alternating saucers and cups, then let them try to make a two or three cup tower.

Indoor Safari Trail

2007-09-25T16:59:00.000+03:00

Yes - I sure did!! I bought a "family" of each different animal - one family per step!! And of COURSE I have a little tiny baby of each animal - to add to our wall when we adopt our daughter!! Anyway - Meer wasn't too impressed with it at first, but now he points to each different type of animal as we go up the stairs - like a safari!! Naturally his favorite are still the fish! But it's good. He wants to hear the names of each animal, so it is a good learning experience... I figure, anyway! ha ha ha!! And YES - they are from www.ocramgirap.com ...except we shop at the store, not online! ;-D

Chess Challenge

2007-09-25T07:44:00.000+03:00

So on Sunday we bought THE cutest chess set for Meer – made by Ocram Girap. It has the jungle animals as the chess pieces, and is SUPER CUTE!! Kush is quite the chess player, so he offered to play me a game… WHAT a SLAUGHTER. Not joking. And Kush being Kush – well – safe to say teaching isn’t his forte. So I looked online for some place that could teach me…

I found this super neat site – chess playing for kids, basically! It is at www.chesskids.com and has a FULL resource section of Downloadable and printable BOOKS – lesson plans, really – for you to learn step by step!! They ask for donations, but you can also print out the books for free! By clicking on the title of this post, it will take you to the page where the free downloads are…

Exchange Rates and Money Info

2007-09-21T12:19:00.000+03:00

Our Kenyan Shilling is worth about:

67ksh per USD

56ksh per Canadian dollar

88ksh per Euro

I know it says different rates on the internet and at your bank - but here it is pretty much constant. Also - bring large bills with you - like $100's. "Smaller Bills" (less than $50's) get a crappier exchange rate. Not joking!

The easiest way to convert it in your head (if you are Canadian), is to double the shilling amount (so if it is 200ksh - make it 400), and then move the decimal place over two places (so 200ksh would be $4.00).

The largest note we have here is 1000ksh - which is about $20.00 Canadian.

Also good to know: bank machines work well here for withdrawing cash from overseas accounts, and the fee is about... $3.00!! There is a maximum daily limit of whatever it is - $500, or something. Bank machines are available in all normal shopping complexes - easy as pie.

You will require $50USD cash at the airport to pay for your visitors visa. And bringing some cash with you is always a good idea - until you get yourself sorted out and know where bank machines are, etc.

;-D

Local Shopping - Infant Formula

2007-09-21T10:53:00.000+03:00

Here is what the baby food isle looks like at our local Nakumatt store... sorry the one of all the formulas is blurry! (darn!) The best type of formula looks to be this SMA Gold - it's new. For cereals, it's Cow and Gate... for about 485ksh per box.

If you have any other questions - just let me know! ;-D

Toddler Activites - Ice Cream Colors

2007-09-21T08:13:00.000+03:00

This is the most hilarious thing ever! It is a free print out thingy from a site called www.first-school.ws/ . (By clicking on the title of this post you will be taken directly to the ice cream page!!) Anyway - I made a set and used that bluetac stuff to stick it onto the wall, but Meer LOVED ripping them off SO much, I glue-gunned them on the wall with velcro! (a big tall strip vertically, and then horizontal strips on the backs of each scoop and cone) It is just hilarious to watch him be "destructive" - he just loves it!! Hope you enjoy it too...

;-D

Toddler Activites - Bottle Toys

2007-09-20T14:00:00.000+03:00

LARGE SODA BOTTLES

Toddlers love to shake and roll rounded objects. Take advantage of this natural curiosity and fill large soda bottles with interesting things to observe. Be sure to secure the top of the bottles, perhaps even gluing them shut, or wrapping them with tape.

BOUNCY BEANS – Put various large dried beans in a bottle for your child to shake and roll around, listening to the sound it makes.

RAIN BOTTLES – Put some rice in a bottle and make your child a rain bottle as they tilt the bottle up and down.

POP CORN POPPER – Put some popped corn in the bottle and encourage your child to roll in around the room, popping the corn.

FLOATING OCTOPUS – Blow up two very small balloons and tie. Place them in the bottle and then fill the bottle ¾ with water. The balloons will bob around and look like baby whales.

MINI TOYS – Look for mini cars, animals, balls, dice, etc. to place in a bottle.

BEACH SCENE – Place ½ cup sand in the bottle, along with some mini shells. Pour in some water, tinted with blue food coloring.

BUBBLES GALORE – Pour in some water, tinted with blue food coloring and some dish soap or some bubble bath. Shake up the bottle to make bubbles.

GLITTER BOTTLES – Drop in some glitter, sequins, metallic confetti, glass jewels. Fill ¾’s with water and shake.

FEATHER BOTTLES – Fill the bottle with ten or twenty small feathers.

BOWLING PINS - Empty soda bottle make great bowling pins for toddlers.
Set up three to ten soda bottles.
Have your child stand back and roll a ball towards the bottles.
How many did he knock down?

Tile Wall Transformation

2007-09-20T13:39:00.002+03:00

Well - THIS is what we have done with our new patch of off white tiles in the kitchen! Not TOO bad, hey?? We have a cup of white board crayola markers hanging on the wall - incase our little Picasso gets inspired! Although so far he is only interested in tossing the markers on the floor, and then putting them back in the cup! ;-D

Toddler Activites - Wall Cups

2007-09-19T07:24:00.000+03:00

So this is actually my own brilliant idea!! I saw our plastic cups in the cupboard, and was like - OH YA!!! So I taped them up on the wall, and Meer just LOVES emptying and filling them with various things - keeps him busy, that's for sure! In the same breath, I am also sure he will get sick of it soon, but if it amuses him for a week or so - I will be thrilled!

The Big N.O.

2007-09-19T07:13:00.000+03:00

So yes - it has HAPPENED. Meer runs around the house saying, "Nah! Nah!". I ASSUME it is him saying NO!!!!! (gasp) Yup. But I really did enjoy the week that he only said, "Yeah"... ha ha ha!!!

Local Shopping - Wooden Kid Stuff

2007-09-18T18:31:00.000+03:00

Well - there is THE coolest store at Village Market - they sell handmade wooden kid stuff. It is called Ocram Girap, and it is FABULOUS!~ Clic on the title of this post to check out their site - it has pictures of all the stuff they sell, etc... Enjoy!!

Flash Card Mania - The Dolch Words

2007-09-17T09:05:00.000+03:00

I know I know - but when you have the laminator out - you might as well get the most use out of it... right?? ha ha ha!! Well - Best to be prepared, I say. In all my digging around, there seems to be a thing about these 220 words that have to be learned by sight - they cannot be sounded out. (who knew??) So here is a nice site that has them printed out in two different sizes (I like the large size!) Here is the link to the free ones...

http://www.theschoolbell.com/Links/Dolch/Directions/flashcards.html

Flash Card Mania - the Technique

2007-09-16T21:39:00.000+03:00

I download the pdf files, print out 2 copies, cut out each flash card (4 print out on one page), and then glue it dead-center onto a slightly larger pretty paper – I was SHOCKED to find holographic foil paper at our local stationary shop – imagine! 25 sheets for about $5 !! How amazing is that?? I trim down the top and side by about 1cm, and then cut the pages in quarters. Anyway – then I laminate 2 cards inside a A5 pouch, and cut them apart, trim the sharp corners, and Wah-lah!!! A finished flashcard that looks absolutely professional and... how handy!!! ;-D

Flash Card Mania – Shapes

2007-09-16T21:33:00.000+03:00

I did these with my publishing software. I like them, and everything, but there is also a nice set available from Jan Brett! The link to the ones I found online is here…

http://www.janbrett.com/pdf/jan_brett_geometric_shapes.pdf

Flash Card Mania - Colors

2007-09-16T21:28:00.000+03:00

Here is the link to the flash cards for learning the colors! Also quite pretty…

http://www.janbrett.com/pdf/colors_flash_cards.pdf

Flash Card Mania - Matching Animals Game

2007-09-16T21:25:00.000+03:00

Now HERE is a really sweet version of the game – Concentration! It is SUPER CUTE and well drawn pictures of different animals – two of each – for our little ones to learn matching! Just adorable. There are 12 different animals to match up. Here is the direct link…

http://www.janbrett.com/games/matching_animals_game_main.htm

Flash Card Mania - Matching Numbers Game

2007-09-16T21:21:00.000+03:00

There is also a GREAT number matching game too - one card has the number - one card has the picture. Then it is a matter of matching up the correct ones! VERY nice looking... I am working on that this week! (Yes - I ran out of laminating pouches and holographic card stock! Not to worry - I replenished my supply first thing this morning!! ;-D) Anyway - this is the link to the number matching printables...

http://www.janbrett.com/games/matching_numbers_game_main_page.htm

Flash Card Mania - Numbers

2007-09-16T12:51:00.000+03:00

These are the numbers by Jan Brett. They are super neat too. Same thing – clic on the link below, and open up each page as a pdf file – 4 numbers per page.

http://www.janbrett.com/numbers/numbers_flash_cards_main.htm

Flash Card Mania - Pretty Ones

2007-09-16T12:40:00.000+03:00

These are from an absolutely FABULOUS site I found – AMAZING artwork, and super pretty, etc. There is a TONNE of stuff to choose from – everything from gift cards, to flash cards, to preschool lessons, to classroom supplies, etc. Just amazing! If you clic on the title of this post, it will take you to her index page. Scroll down, and do a search for what you are looking for – you will be SHOCKED to see how much is available – and YES – all for free! I printed out 2 sets of alphabet flashcards – one in hand writing, and one in printing – so Meer can (one day) match up the written letters with the printed letters, etc. And the artwork is SO pretty…

This is the main page where you can search for what you are looking for:

http://www.janbrett.com/index.html

This is the link to the Traditional Alphabet Flash Cards:

http://www.janbrett.com/alphabet/flash_card_alphabet_traditional_main_page.htm

This is the link to the Modern Alphabet Flash Cards:

http://www.janbrett.com/alphabet/flash_card_alphabet_modern_main_page.htm

This is the link to the Cursive (handwritting) Alphabet Flash Cards:

http://www.janbrett.com/alphabet/flash_card_alphabet_cursive_main_page.htm

Flash Card Mania - the Beginning

2007-09-16T09:26:00.003+03:00

So I went a bit nuts over the weekend with my laminator!! Found a GREAT site for flashcards – well, 2 sites, actually. These are the ones I found first – a full set of the alphabet – I made two sets, so we can play matching later, etc. Here are the links to the flashcards – you can print them out yourself – yes – for free!!! Right clic each of the links below, and choose "open in new window" - it will open up a pdf file with 4 letters on each page - one for each link... Hope you like them too!

http://www.first-school.ws/t/alpha_flash1ad.htm

http://www.first-school.ws/t/alpha_flash1eh.htm

http://www.first-school.ws/t/alpha_flash1il.htm

http://www.first-school.ws/t/alpha_flash1mp.htm

http://www.first-school.ws/t/alpha_flash1qt.htm

http://www.first-school.ws/t/alpha_flash1ux.htm

http://www.first-school.ws/t/alpha_flash1yz.htm

Drive-by Munching

2007-09-16T09:00:00.000+03:00

This is Meer munching down on his puffed wheat! He eats like a champion since I filled his bilibo with cereal – he eats by the handful! Who knew! I tried butting him in a big bucket, and poured the cereal around him, but he thought that was just weird and wanted to get out immediately!! There are a few cups inside for filling and pouring – he just loves it! Apparently you let the kids play with it for a few days, and then give the remaining cereal to the birds…

Toddler Activites - Filling Up Fun

2007-09-13T12:26:00.002+03:00

FILLING UP FUN
These are great small muscle activities for young children.

STUFF THE TURKEY
You need some brown grocery sacks for this activity. Take one of the sacks and roll the sides down until they are approximately 5-6 inches from the bottom. Take the other sacks and cut them into 6” x 6” squares. Show your child how to crunch up the squares. Tell your child that the rolled down bag is the turkey and the crunched up papers are the dressing. Have your child fill their turkey with dressing.

TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER
Children love filling up the holes in a toothbrush holder.
Set out a toothbrush holder and the appropriate number of toothbrushes.
Encourage your child to put one toothbrush in each hole.

CANDLEHOLDER
Set out a candleholder that holds more than one candle.
Set out the appropriate number of candles.
Encourage your child to put one candle in each holder.

WOODEN PUZZLES
Set out a knobbed puzzle with large easy pieces.
Encourage your child to place each piece in its correct hole.

COOKIE CUTTER PUZZLE
You will need a sturdy box lid.
Lay the lid on the table.
Set some simple cookie cutters on top and draw around the cutters.
Cut out the cutter shapes in the box lid.
Set out the box lid and the cookie cutters.
Have your children place the cookie cutters into their holes.

TENNIS BALL TUBE
Set out a tennis ball tube filled with tennis balls.
Let your child dump out the balls, then carefully place them all back in the tube.

CRAFT STICK GARDEN
You will need a sturdy shoe box for this activity.
Put the lid on the box and cut two rows of four 1” slits.
Set out eight large craft sticks and let your children fill each slit with a craft stick.

FILL THE POT
Set out a pan of water, a measuring cup and a medium sized plastic bowl.
Show your child how to dip the measuring cup into the water and then transfer a cup from the pan into the bowl.
Let your child continue doing this until the bowl is full.

Picture of the day

2007-09-11T20:01:00.000+03:00

Meer was drinking milk from his doidy cup and eating peas...

Snap Crackle and POP!

2007-09-11T07:05:00.000+03:00

Our landlord is just a dick-face. Basically. And I am pretty sure that isn’t a swear!! Ha ha ha! Anyway – Kush had another rowe with him last night, and came back in the house insisting we move – ASAP. SO – this is the house we are going to look at this afternoon… it’s new, and on half an acre. Not too crazy about the location – it might be on a busier road than I would prefer… just have to wait and see! Anyway – we have paid rent here for the next 3 months, so it’s not THAT urgent… but better to see what is available, than to be “forced” to move when there is nothing on the market! Ugh… BUT – I am actually looking forward to it – especially since it is a bit bigger than this house – so I might get my craft room back, and more than one bath tub in the house is also a big fat bonus! I’ll keep you posted…

Nope. That just SUCKED! How depressing. Built just horribly, and full of quirky arcitecture and MDF. Gasp. And then the view from teh second floor, is of all the tin roofs of a SLUM! Yup. Back to the drawing board...

Ego is a bitch...

2007-09-10T16:30:00.000+03:00

So the tile guys seemed to have difficulty fitting the border tiles back together – had it all messed up, and then left to go for lunch. So, me being me, I ripped out the ones that were in the wrong place, and got it all sorted out – ended up that in all reality, they would not fit back together without being cut… but in the process of seeing how much I had to chip off, a tile FELL and broke into… say… 15 pieces. NOT joking. Anyway – then I decided to just go for it – nothing to be lost now! So one tile has a bit of a “mosaic” effect – but I say who cares – the darn thing wasn’t going to fit, anyway!

The tile guys came back a couple hours later to find their work completed – OOPS! And they are ONLY replacing the tiles that had fallen off – so we are left with a white square, instead of butchering the entire kitchen. (phew). I figure I will let Meer loose with a dozen or so permanent markers – make it into an art wall! Ha ha ha!!

Anyway – my hands are actually PRUNED. I even put lotion on 3 times so far – IMAGINE. Had to cut my nails to get the dirt out from under them too! :-O

Flickr Pictures

2007-09-10T13:18:00.000+03:00

PHEW! I have found a way of uploading pictures - even at my super-slow connection speed! I re-sized them - some small, some medium, and today I am REALLY going out on a limb and uploading in size LARGE!! Imagine the courage!~ha ha ha! Anyway - there is a heap of them. Now that uploading is do-able within a reasonable time frame (aka: same day!) I didn't edit them- it's the full range! If I haven't sent you a link, please email me, and I will add you to the invitation list - the pictures aren't public, so you will have to be invited, and then sign in with your yahoo id. BUT - naturally it is all worth it!! ;-D

Last Week's Projie

2007-09-10T12:04:00.000+03:00

Our dining room chairs had been bothering me for… a good 4 years! I had been waiting for a budget to go and buy some fantastic red brocade, or something equally magnificent to recover them in. They had been a funny shade of green for far too long – which matched the dishes that you can see in the pictures. Anyway – last Monday I walked past the dining room one too many times, and decided that I MUST have SOMETHING in my fabric cupboards that would be better than staring at green for one more day! So off I went to dig through the piles…

Found this dark purple – in the same fabric that the green was – so I knew it would upholster and wear well. NOT that purple is my thing…but I just snapped, and it was the best option I had! Within a few hours the dining room was looking better, and I used the remaining scrap of purple fabric to make a table runner. All in all – I am quite pleased with it! Should have done it years ago!! ;-D

Slum Lord Report

2007-09-10T09:22:00.000+03:00

So the munchie potato (my version of the more fitting and colorful experlitives that describe him more accurately) has actually sent guys to repair the gaping hole we have in our kitchen wall! About 50 of the tiles on one wall have come loose – a patch of about 12 actually buckled with the house settling, and popped off! Anyway – we have lived with it for seven long months… and NOW, Monday morning, two men have arrived to fix it. Not only that – but the other 38 tiles that are just hanging on by their grout lines! AND – to make the day just perfect – not only are they smashing the sh*t out of the wall above where Meer SLEEPS, but have brought off-white tiles to replace the PEACH tiles that have fallen off. So basically, the kitchen wall is going to look like a… patchwork. Basically. I had to come back upstairs just to tell you all! How purdy. Like – considering the house actually BELONGS to someone – would you not INSIST on matching tiles? I mean – seriously. Or maybe it is just me. Crazy old me. Well – anyway – good luck renting it out for the top money we are paying after we leave! Jokers. No brains.

OH! AND – I thought our septic tank needed to be pumped, so I called and asked the landlord to send a truck to do it – they actually called back to say that maintenance of the septic tank is up to the TENANTS. So like – for price of one month’s rent, we can let their house actually FILL UP with SH*T. NOT JOKING!! And like – septic pump trucks are how much? $100?? Probably less. But – NO – don’t pay for that YOURSELF!! Goodness. I swear. If there was ANY decent house available for rent, we would have moved already. As painful as it is. The guy is just a true dick.

ANYWAY – gotta go play with Meer somewhere where we can hear ourselves THINK…

OH. Icing on the cake - one of the guys went to use Kasimbi's toilet (without asking, of course) - and BROKE IT! Yes. Poor kasimbi has gushing toilet water all over his house, and no working toilet. How NICE... :-(

Budding Vocabulary

2007-09-08T10:34:00.001+03:00

So Meer is really beginning to talk – it’s just a matter of us adults understanding which words he is saying! The first word he said was LIGHT – his favorite thing at the time. And then he said THIS, and then THAT. His recognizable vocabulary includes:

Light
This
That
Mama
Dada
Danger
Flower
Dog
Tortoise
Yes

Sawa (Swahili for ok)

Good

Nice

Two

Out

Shoes

I am just THRILLED to hear him say YES before learning the word NO! For some reason it is all important to me to minimize the amount of times he hears "no". Apparently it is shocking how often we hear it as children. NOT that I don't direct his behavior, but luckily with Meer, he is sensitive enough to be guided with facial expressions and little grunts! Well - that is me for you - all weird!! Anyway - he is really beginning to speak up a storm - it is SO enjoyable to hear! ;-D

Baby Gear - Wheely Bugs

2007-09-07T13:35:00.001+03:00

These are neat! Made by the same clever company that came up the the Hipseat Carrier I keep going on and on about - www.hippychick.com . Anyway - these are super fun, and super well made. They have a few different ones - cow, bee, ladybug, etc. This is the one Meer has. It has "omni directional wheels", meaning it can bomb around in any direction and turn around on the spot - how fun!! They are really well made - totally solid and fabulous, basically! Hope you like them too! Yes - clic on the link to see them... ;-D

Baby Gear - FunPod

2007-09-07T13:16:00.000+03:00

Now this is something that is still on my wish-list! It is a narrow wooden box (basically) that you can put your toddler in while you are busy working in the kitchen! It is adjustable, so you can find the right hieght for your little one to be able to stand beside you and "work" on the counter! When you are not using it with your child, it has a wooden chopping block cover - so it isn't a waste of space. It comes in 4 different colors, and is available in London at a fab store called www.lullabys.co.uk . Clic on the title of this post to check it out - they even have a little video clip so you can see it in action! I think it is just a brilliant idea!!

Baby Gear - Laundry Soap

2007-09-06T11:53:00.000+03:00

I also recommend this laundry detergent – especially if you are coming to Kenya to adopt a baby! It rinses out of the fabric 100% so it is perfect for sensitive baby skin, and is super concentrated – one 5.5lb box washes 50 loads of laundry (about 1 tbsp per load) – so it lasts really a long time! There is a link to the site if you want to read the actual details about it – just clic on the title of this post. I have been washing Meer's clothes in it for one year now, and have just busted into my second box... about a month ago! Imagine. BRILLIANT stuff.

Baby Gear - Time Out Pad

2007-09-05T14:03:00.000+03:00

Now check THIS out: It is a new product I saw at my favorite online shop in London – it is a pressure sensitive time-out-pad, that has a timer (1 minute per age of your child) and beeps if your child gets up before the time-out is over! How neat!! I mean – hopefully you never have to use it, but... seriously. NEAT! Clic on the title of this post to read more about it...

Baby Gear - Baby Bjorn Dishes

2007-09-05T13:59:00.000+03:00

Now these food dishes and cutlery are pretty great too. They SAY that they are hard for little cuties to pick up and toss – not really the case. Meer can pick them up just fine! But they ARE super easy to scoop food up onto the spoon, and the spoon has a little notch on the underside, so it rests on the edge of the bowl without slipping inside. AND if they DO get tossed – they are next to impossible to break. The bottom edge has a gummy rubber ring, so they don’t slip around, etc. All in all – a real winner. Clic on the title of the post to read more, etc.

Baby Gear - Hotslings

2007-09-05T13:37:00.000+03:00

These cute slings are just the best. And trust me – I have bought and tried just about every single one on the market!! The ONLY thing these one’s are NOT the best for, is breastfeeding. Then you will need the good old fashioned Maya Sling. But the Hotslings are PERFECT for everything else – and no need to adjust it…. Ever!! You just slide it over your head and one arm, and off you go. Perfect for newborns and toddlers. ( when they are bigger, they sit straddling your hip with the hotsling under their butt like a seat – tres handy!!) To be honest… after about 1 year, I only use the hipseat carrier. But you can purchase one hotsling, and then make your own using it as the pattern. SUPER EASY. I made about 6 different ones – to match my outfits!! All you need is about 1.8m of stretch cotton, and some hollow fiber to pad the one rim. Easy peasey!! But for those of you who don’t sew – just buy a couple – you will LOVE THEM!! I suggest at least two – since the edge seems to catch a LOT of drool, so you will want a fresh one handy. Yes – clicking on the title of this post will take you to www.hotslings.com!! Enjoy.

Baby Gear - Magnetic Door Locks

2007-09-04T14:37:00.000+03:00

"Hidden Locks for Modern Kitchens" - These are THE coolest door locks …. EVER!! They are magnetic and completely hidden inside the cupboard or drawer – so you never see them! To unlock them, you pass a magnet “key” over the front of the door, and it releases the magnet on the inside - releasing the lock. HOW neat! Not cheap, mind you, and you DO have to drill a little hole on the inside of the cabinet or drawer to countersink in a little magnet… but who cares! Beats wrestling with plastic clips for YEARS!! Check out the link in the title of this post – they are amazing! And I mean - heck - how hilarious would they be for April fools???? PERFECT! ha ha ha!!!

Baby Gear - Bilibo

2007-09-04T14:24:00.000+03:00

These are super neat… things! They have no real purpose, other than sparking the imagination in our little ones! They were developed by the Children’s Hospital in Switzerland, of all places! They come in the large size (bigger than a basket ball), or the smaller size – which make great scoops, etc. Basically they can be used inside, outside, in the water, sand, snow, etc. And two stack together to form a complete circle – kinda cool! Also available in a heap of colors, and you can see them by clicking on the title of this post.

Baby Gear - Doidy Cups

2007-09-04T13:55:00.000+03:00

This is a super cool cup for your little one to learn to drink from. They are cheap, and the extra angle means it is easier for you little one to learn to tip the cup himself… it’s GREAT! Seriously – like the third day I busted it out, I came into the kitchen to see Meer pick it up by the handle, take a sip, and set it back down!! I was like – HUH??? Seriously. NOT that there wasn’t a trail of milk down his chin, but definitely cleaner than trying from a normal cup! Give them a try. Clic on the title of this post to view them properly… but you may want to do a local search to find them near you – we had to get them from London, at a super cool store called http://www.bumpto3.co.uk/ . (You can also clic on that and do a search for doidy cups...)

Baby Gear - Hipseat Carrier

2007-09-04T13:47:00.000+03:00

FABULOUS! It’s like an ugly old fanny-pack, but with a hard plastic insert inside the zipper pouch, so it forms a firm seat for you baby/toddler without using your shoulders or back for support. BRILLIANT. Everyone needs one – safe to say! Clic on the title of this post to view it properly on the hippy chick website...

Baby Gear - Quinny Zap

2007-09-04T13:43:00.000+03:00

This is a super lightweight stroller that folds down into a little bag and can be put in the overhead luggage compartment on an airplane. It has NO suspension, and NO shopping basket. But it DOES have a super great sun canopy, and a perfectly fitted and easy to use rain cover! Meer LOVES going out in his Quinny when it is raining! Super fun. Not the best for posture – minimal back support, non adjustable, etc, but if you travel a lot, it’s pretty neat. Oh - and the Maxicozi baby seat fits onto the frame as well... which it also does to the Bugaboo frame as well. (incase you are looking for a travel system - both work easily!)

Baby Gear - Bugaboo Cameleon

2007-09-04T13:35:00.000+03:00

Best stroller available by far. (this is the color combo we chose for Meer... LOVE IT!) It is SO GREAT I cannot even rant enough to convey it. Imagine! It comes in a multitude of color combinations, and is super easy to clean, has phenomenal suspension, and is SO comfortable for your child – it’s worth every red cent… which is quite a few of them, considering it is kinda pricey! We got our in Dubai for about $1200 usd including all the accessories, travel bag, etc. The ONLY hassle is that to put it in the car, it comes apart in two pieces – super easy, and stuff, but it is a bit more effort than the old graco-collapse-with-one-hand variety… but again – you get what you pay for – incomparable in every other way… it’s like a Bentley or a Hyundai. Basically! And not ot be snotty – I know it is a crazy price and every penny counts, but if there is ANY way you can swing it – I fully encourage you to do so! Yes - clic on the title to go to the bugaboo website - then look at the CAMELEON... beautiful.

Baby Gear - Bumbo Baby Seat

2007-09-04T13:26:00.000+03:00

This is a squishy molded foam seat that gives you a secure place to “plunk” your baby from about 4 months (or when she can hold up her own head) onwards to … 9 months? Around 9 months was when Meer figured out how to get out of it – and so ended the days of immobility! But we used it SO MUCH before then. Even now he likes to figure out how to sit in it by himself – it’s pretty funny. It comes in a bunch of colors… just not in a adult size. DARN!!! There is also one called the Bebepod – which is exactly the same, but not squishy – it’s hard plastic. Oviously squishy is the way to go! The link in the title of this post takes you to where you can by it from the mothercare site... but you can also buy it in lots of other places - check out the color selection - each store has their own "available in two colors".

Baby Gear - Table High Chair

2007-09-04T13:17:00.000+03:00

This is a really good thing to have. We got the exact one in the link above… it is well worth it. The seat is really padded nicely, and it comes off the frame to be washed in the machine – which it does BEAUTIFULLY!! I read one of the reviews on the mothercare site, and a person was saying it wasn’t washable… NOT THE CASE! Wrestle it off the steel frame, and toss it in the machine with a towel. Comes out a treat. Also wipes clean and dries in a SNAP. It is super strong, and super great. Yes - CLIC ON THE LINK TO SEE THE CHAIR AS LISTED ON THE MOTHERCARE WEBSITE...

Things Available Locally

2007-08-31T08:48:00.000+03:00

Photo Albums – hand made with leather and bone, etc. LOVELY. ($20 - $100 depending on size) A definate MUST HAVE.
Scrapbooks – same thing. Pricey, but worth it. ($60 - $120 depending on style and size)
Leather beaded sandals. Pick your color, pick your style! Great, and like $20 a pair.
Kazuri Beads – fab necklaces, etc. www.kazuribeads.co.uk/ (yes – you can go to the factory!!)
Swim Suit Wraps www.kikoy.com (or great fabric in general to make nursery items!!)
Johnson & Johnson Baby Bath Products
Colgate Toothpaste
Oral B Toothbrushes
Shampoo and Conditioner (Pantene, Organix, Sun Silk, etc)
Body Wash & Lotions (Fa, Dove, etc, plus ones from a healthfood store)
Avent Baby Bottles, Soothers, etc… a bit pricey – but good quality.
Normal Pampers - made in Egypt, very absorbent, but with a thin plastic outer shell.
Bath Towels - grocery stores have them for like $6! Not bad.
Baby Spit Rags - very reasonable - 12 for... $4? But you will need to take a taxi into town to get them - we have a street dedicated to sewing supplies and baby stuff! Imagine.
Baby Flannel Blankets - same thing - cheap ($3), but you have to go into town to get them.
Baby Q-Tips - Septona brand. Cheap, and pretty good. Like - $3 per box of 100.
Baby Board Books - the price is about $10 - $20 canadian per book, but easier than packing heavy things, if you ask me!
Baby Baths – plastic kind with a moulded seat.
Plastic Stuff in general – 2 local companies that produce just about everything for cheap
Medications – pharmacies are cheaper here by far – no prescriptions required.
Vitamins and Healthcare Products - we have two healthfood stores, which carry just about everything these days!

Did I miss anything? Just ask!!

Things to Bring with You

2007-08-31T08:35:00.001+03:00

Face Care
House slippers and/or cozy sox’s (It gets cold inside the house at night)
Deodorant - the best kind you can get here is Nivea... it works in a pinch, but, seriously.
Baby’s Clothes & Shoes - you do NOT want to buy ONE THING locally!! FAR too expensive, and the quality is poor.... well - poor-ISH!
Baby Blankets - same thing - best to bring one with you. Fleece ones here are.. $80 ??
Baby Slings (2 – one for the laundry) www.hotslings.com
Hip Seat Carrier - FABULOUS – best for travelling back home! I am wearing mine in the picture on the right - I wear it ALL the time! Saves the shoulders and back - completely. www.hippychick.com
www.hippychick.com/index.cfm/children/Products.List/category_id/65
Concentrated Tylenol Infant Drops I would bring a lot – like 6 or 12 bottles. (they’re small!!)
Fancy Thermometer (IF you have one – no biggie. Normal ones are cheap here.)
Baby Toys… Discovery Toys – Rattles, and “Stacktivities” (they are great and light weight)
Clamp-On High Chair – great for restaurants, and at your apartment or hotel.
Stroller… optional, but you can if you like. I use the hipseat instead. Easier. People carry your shopping for you here – so a stroller can be a bit of a hassle, if you ask me.
Travel cot/playpen/crib combo – might be handy for your child to sleep in, etc.
Car Seat – another pain in the ass. I wouldn’t bother… oops! Not to be a bad mother! But in a dirty taxi, I would rather hold the kid and get in and out faster. It’s up to you, though.
Playtex Baby Bottles - or whatever feeding system you prefer. You can get Avent brand here.
Pampers Active Fit - these are my favorite. Super thin, super absorbent (12 hours plus), and have a breathable fabric feeling outer shell. When you can find them here, they are $30 - $40 per pack of 32. (ouch!!) I use them during the night, and on outings.
Stickers for Scrapbooking – if you are doing the scrapbook thing! Can’t get jack here.

Sigh...

2007-08-29T06:51:00.000+03:00

So I got another call from New Life Home… they wanted us to come over on Tuesday afternoon at 3:00 to select our daughter! How freakin’ HEARTBREAKING to have to DECLINE. I explained that we have an upcoming trip abroad, and have to wait until we come back to select our daughter – so we don’t have to leave her behind. It just sucked. I felt like SUCH a looser. I still do. I dunno. It’s just depressing to be the one responsible for the hold-up…

I’ll babble more when my mood improves… no point whining all over the place!!

Late Night Ponderings...

2007-08-25T22:08:00.003+03:00

Thank you Tracey!!! (She wrote another very nice thing on her blog!)

Anyway - Yes - I am exhaused! Been fiddlign with this blog, and downloading the picaboo software ( www.picaboo.com ) for HOURS - my connection is so slow!! 88% now - had to restart it 5 times so far! (make that SIX...)

Anwyay - I have to admit I am kinda NERVOUS. I mean - it is one thing to get yourself approved, and quite another to have an APPOINTMENT to SELECT your new DAUGHTER!! Ya know? It's overwhelming. Truely. It's like - when they called to say we are approved to adopt achild, they said we were to come on MONDAY to select her... and I mean - MONDAY??? That is like a few HOURS away!! It's shocking. My brain can't wrap itself around it, for some reason.

It's like a hair appointment, or something casual like that!!

And I am really a bit concerned how I can handle both children at night... Meer is still fully dependant - wakes several times per night, and is used to having my full attention... ya know?

Our housegirl - Josaphine - she has just come back to work after having her baby. Her daughter is 4 months old, and living in the staff quarters. I take Meer out to see her everyday (as much as I can really!) and carry her around, etc, just to see if I can do it! So far I have handled both kids for like 15 minutes... twice. ha ha ha!! During the day I am pretty sure I can handle - especially considering I have help if I need it 8am - 5pm Monday to Saturday! But at night... I think it might be rough for a few days until everyone gets a routine down.

I know I am getting ahead of myself - still have to go and "select" our daugher. But now that we CAN... it's so much more real! And the waiting is harder to do, considering WE are the ones dragging our feet... we basically HAVE TO wait until we come back from our trip... and it is almost painful not having definate dates for our trip, etc. And then...

Is our daughter born yet? Is she crying right now? Is she scared? Is she not born yet? Is her birthmother thinking kindly towards her if she isn't born yet? Is she being cared for by someone? Is she safe?

Oh - I could go on. It's a whole new emotional ride to keep my brain and heart busy while we wait...

Lifebooks - Activites for Waiting Parents

2007-08-25T19:54:00.000+03:00

* Prior to your trip, compose a list of questions about your child’s early life.

* Emphasize questions relating to her background, such as when she came to the orphanage or foster home and who took care of her there, rather than her routine (such as her sleep schedule, which will be disrupted anyway).

* Try to anticipate the questions your child may have in the future.

* Talk with other adoptive parents about information they or their children wish they had.

* Exercising cultural sensitivity, gather as much relevant information for your child during your trip as you are able. Is it possible for you to visit your child’s birthfamily, foster parents, people who cared for your child—or your child’s birthplace?

* While traveling, when you’re in between trips to court or to the consulate, awake at night, or waiting for a plane, write it all down!

Lifebooks - What to Include

2007-08-25T18:40:00.000+03:00

What do you imagine your child will wish to know about her earliest days, months, or years? Even though you probably don’t have the answers to all—or even some—of these questions, it’s helpful to keep them in mind.

1. Who gave birth to me?

2. Why couldn’t my birthparents raise me?

3. How and when did I get from my birthparents to the orphanage, foster parents, or other caretakers?

4. Who gave me my name?

5. What type of area or community did I live in?

6. What did my home look like? Did I share a room, crib, or bed?

7. With whom did I live? Who took care of me? What were their names?

8. What was my life like? What was my daily routine? What was my general health? What skills had I developed? Did I have any special friends? What were my favorite toys or foods? Do you know someone who may have photos or additional information about my early life?

9. Why was I not adopted sooner? (Your child was older.)

10. Where and how was my special need diagnosed? What special services or help, if any, did I receive?

11. Is my medical condition common in my country of origin?

12. Do I have biologically related siblings?

13. Did my birthparents die?

For more information, clic on the title of this post, or the following link (it's the same):
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=350

Lifebooks - Martha's Tips

2007-08-25T12:54:00.000+03:00

YES - click on the title of this post to view the original page - and a video of Martha doing these tips herself! (I think... my connection is WAY to sloe for that!!)

Take photos, color-copy them, cut them up, and glue them onto the pages of your scrapbook. You can also glue in all your letters, cards, and even emails from well-wishers.

Another great idea is to take a color photocopy of the front page of the newspaper for the day you're scrapbooking and then shrink it down. On the opposite page, you can write things that were relevant on that day, such as popular songs, world events, popular movies, and trends.

Take your favorite photo, upload it to your computer, and print it out nice and large. Then, paste it into the book. You can paint on one page with a travel watercolor kit, and then paste a picture onthe other page. If you're not an artist, you could just as easily journal on the page. Take pictures horizontal and vertically so you have the option of having it be a single page or a double-page spread.

Glue a Mylar envelope onto a page and tuck in the boarding passes, tickets or other memorabilia.

Included a sleeve with a DVD of the segment.

Another Tip: Take one big picture and embellish it. You can also write your child a postcard and mail it home, and then tuck that into a glassine sleeve.

You can also keep sand and small shells in a smaller envelope (don't forget to close it!) that you tuck inside.

Another trick is, instead of writing on the page of your actual scrapbook, write on a card and paste a picture in the middle, and slip that into an archival sleeve.

Lifebooks - The Time to Start is Now

2007-08-25T10:22:00.000+03:00

Here we go again - click on the title to view the original document I stole (see author info at the end of the post) this from - I think this whole Lifebook thing is just SO important... ;-D

Good news for waiting families: pre-placement is a perfect time to start the lifebook process. Before children arrive, parents will have time - a luxury not often enjoyed once children are at home! Use that time to;

*keep a journal
*pay attention to non-critical information
*maintain alertness to the 'warm fuzzies'
*gather information by examining history and interviewing people involved in the placement.

Keeping a journal, says Massachusetts' ODS Adoption Community of New England, Inc., Executive Director Joan Clark, helps both process your own emotions and record vital pieces of information. Journaling permits us to rely on our experiences instead of our occasionally spotty memories. The adoption process can be lengthy and stressful, not unlike pregnancy. Holding on to an assortment of events, names, and hard and soft facts is next to impossible when you can't remember where you put the car keys some days. If you keep a journal, that journal will always be available for review.

Another way to start is by simply maintaining attentiveness. This is related to keeping a journal, because sometimes connections between events aren't made right away. Parents may receive pieces of information that don't fit neatly together. Only over time, after repeated exposure, do the pieces of the puzzle suggest where they might fit. In addition, synchronicity (unusual coincidence) seems to pop up a great deal in the adoption world. Sometimes these connections just call out, "This is unbelievable!" Reviewing a journal can help facilitate making these connections - but first we have to be sure we're paying attention to the details.

"A couple adopting from Russia was planning to follow their religious tradition of naming their new baby after a grandmother who had passed on... Often people choose either the first name or the first initial, which was M in this instance. When they received the referral papers, the baby's first name already started with M, and she was born the same day that the grandmother died." - as told to ODS Community NE Executive Director Joan Clark, adoptive mother.

These stories contribute to family history and honor a spiritual dimension. They enhance the 'legend' quality of the adoption story, giving children a sense that this was always meant to be. This sense may enhance positive feeling and help with acceptance of adoptive-family values once the teen years arrive!

A third way to start the lifebook process is to maintain alertness to 'warm fuzzies,' which are pieces of personal, family-oriented information that are not typically part of the official record. Waiting parents can be more sensitive to warm fuzzy facts as they engage in such pursuits as travel to birth countries, meetings with birthparents to discuss open adoption, or receipt of foster care placement information. As you move through the adoption process, developing lifebook 'antenna' for cute items and other tidbits will help you collect the stories your child will cherish.

One of the best times to soak up information - the fourth means of beginning a lifebook - is prior to placement. Once placement occurs, then the initial attachment period sets in. Sometimes this period isn't compatible with examining your child's birth history, placement history, or the reason s/he became available for adoption. (This is why it's best for foster children to be placed in adoptive homes with up-to-date lifebooks.) I often find that after placement it takes 12-18 months before the lifebook journey can be resumed.

Before placement occurs, search out those pieces of information that will turn to gold in the teen years, even during young adulthood. As the 'lifebook detective,' see this search as Job #1! The information you uncover will help lay the cornerstones of your new family's foundation.

Often, as a child becomes older, s/he will have numerous questions about the pre-placement period or birth family history. These might be as simple as, "What was the name of my favorite staff member at the orphanage?" or direct and complicated, such as, "Is my birth mother still alive?" During adolescence and early adulthood, adoption information takes on great significance.

Personally, I always hated doctor visits, when I had to say I knew nothing about my medical history. Medical information can be difficult to obtain, yet few things are as necessary to have. Pieces that may be just as vital to track down are nuggets like the birthmother's favorite childhood games. Try to interview people who had contact with birth family members. Treat the orphanage staff as extended birth family. Get quotes about your child, the full name of the person quoted, and photos.

Open adoption? Don't be shy - find out as much as possible about the birthfather, his childhood interests, talents, nationality, personality traits, favorite things. Do the same for the birthmother.

Treat each opportunity as if it were the last, because you simply never know what the future might bring. Lifebook information comes to you via official documents, your recollections and experiences, and the results of paying attention to new types of information.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Beth O'Malley, speaker, and author of "LifeBooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child", "My Foster Care Journey", and "For When I'm Famous: A Teen Foster/Adoption LifeBook", is a former foster baby, and has worked over 18 years as a social worker. She is married and lives on the ocean outside of Boston. She can be reached at 1.800.469.9666 or lifebooks@earthlink.net or her Web site, www.adoptionlifebooks.com.

Lifebooks - Every Adopted Child Needs One

2007-08-25T10:01:00.001+03:00

Yes - Yes - I have CHEATED, and cut and pasted this from a fabulous site on the net! (See Author infor at the end of the post) The link to the site is available by clicking on the title of this post...

And also- I have begun our daughter's lifebook already - with a complete copy of the paperwork, letters, forms, photos, and then a series of letters we wrote to her - kept in matchy-matchy envelopes, and glued into the lifebook for her to open and read when she is older. It is important for me to at least try as hard as I personally can - to make sure ALL our children KNOW they were wanted and loved - even before they were born. I am hoping that starting a Lifebook early will provide the same reassurance that a pregnacy journal does. ANYWAY - enough blabbering from me! Read on...

Information is gold when you are adopted. Every tiny piece is precious, whether it's a photo or quote from the orphanage staff. LifeBooks help put all the information pieces together in a way that helps your child make sense of, and ultimately feel good, about his/her history.

People often ask me, "What is a LifeBook?" I respond, "It's the best gift you can ever give an adopted child. A LifeBook is a record of an adoptee's life that uses words, photos, your child's artwork, computer graphics, and memorabilia."

But it's more than a life story. It is a unique opportunity for parents to honor every minute of their child's life. A LifeBook is an adoption security blanket. It makes talking about adoption feel like everyday conversation. Putting your child's life story on paper is such a simple concept. Who would have guessed that the benefits are countless?

"My daughter's LifeBook only brought us closer and increased her trust in me." - Mary McGuire, adoptive mom of seven- year-old Cassie, adopted from China.

Yes, the concept is simple. Is a LifeBook therefore easy to write? Maybe, maybe not.
The stories and photos abound once a child enters his/her family. (How many boxes of pictures do you have stored away?) But that's not the child's beginning. Imagine a picture of someone that gets cut off at the knees. This is what it feels like not to have or to discuss your history. Adoptees end up with a floating or numb sensation with no roots to attach to. I should know. I spent my first five months in foster care before being adopted. I listened carefully to the silences around adoption during my childhood.

Some families are reluctant to consider a LifeBook. We have no information - how can we write when we know nothing? ¨ There are now a number of creative ways to work with little or no information. Ironically, it becomes even more critical for the child with little biographical data to have a LifeBook. Just because a child doesn't talk about it¨ doesn't mean s/he isn't thinking about the other parts of his/her life. Often it's that pre-photo period that adoptees crave to know more about.

It's that sense of missing pieces that can affect attachment or concentration for adopted children. LifeBooks can fill in the missing pieces with words, artwork, and photos, if available. The words will create pictures when none exist.

"My Mother is a social worker who now uses LifeBooks in her work. I wish LifeBooks were available 22 years ago. Maybe I wouldn't have so many unanswered questions." - Kate, age 22, adult adoptee from Colombia, herself a new social worker.

Adopted children often have secret thoughts about why they were adopted. Many believe that somehow they are responsible for the separation from their birth family. At the age of six I decided that my birth parents died in a plane crash in Africa. I didn't tell a soul. Then I changed the story. It was always death. It's the power of magical thinking. LifeBooks help reduce magical thinking and fantasy. They free up an adoptee to pay better attention in school. Or to be more available to focus on talents and interests. Better for a child to be out playing soccer or painting a picture than to be fantasizing endlessly about what happened.¨

If your child comes from another country, be aware that it's important to discuss the country's conditions and/or rules for adoptions. Often this is the only explanation a child has as to why s/he was placed. LifeBooks are the ultimate teaching tool and they can save hours of therapy later in life.

Remind your children of the ways they are connected to their adoptive family, despite not looking like you. This may be in the form of similar voice patterns, talents, food choices or interests. It took me 45 years to figure out that I got my dry sense of humor from my adoptive father. (OK, so I was a little slow.) Never assume that your child doesn't want to be reminded of these connections often. They bear repeating.

In his/her story, make your child the star and celebrate both their resiliency and survival.
"Sara's Story: What better way to welcome her than by preparing and preserving her history with a LifeBook?" - Mimi Robins, adoptive grandmother of 4 year-old-old Sara, from China.
Help your children to feel proud of their own strengths and the strengths of their birth parents. As Corinne Rayburn, LCSW, LMFT, Co-Director of the Center For Family Connections says, "Birth families are like inlaws: you didn't pick them but have to [accept] them."¨ If you don't have any information, then look to your child's talents and wonder if perhaps they got their artistic talents from that unknown birth father.

The Birthparent Page of a LifeBook really helps out with those tough adolescent years when identity issues begin to peak. The more your child knows, the more that s/he will feel "real".
Some would argue, "Our family is very open and always talks about adoption, so why write it down?" Because a book that you and your child can pick up and hold gives the adoptee control over his/her own story. A child can look at it when the urge hits, without having to ask. It becomes symbolic for adoption discussion.

"Mama read me my LifeBook," or "Where's my LifeBook, I want to show it to my friend." The older a child gets, the more tools a family needs to communicate on adoption issues.
If you are starting to think that LifeBooks are very powerful, you may be wondering where to begin. Here are a few suggestions from Dr. Vera Fahlberg, national adoption expert:

· Start with the child's birth; (Or during the adoption process if you are freaky like me!!)
· Always discuss the birth mother and birth father (even if you know nothing, say that you don't know);
· Talk about the reason for separation from the biological family.

I like to include the original birth certificate (if available). This official record always fascinates children of any age. Court papers or official records will suffice if no birth certificate is available.

Once you have laid the foundation with birth history, then add the fun part, the time when they joined your family. Don't get caught up in creating the "perfect" LifeBook. LifeBooks become worn and torn and more beautiful with age. The only real mistake you can make is never to begin. The ultimate MAGIC to creating a treasured LifeBook is to start it, work on it as a family, and give it your child. Even if it only has five pages, it is tangible proof to your child that s/he is precious enough to deserve this treasure.

See??? Couldn NOT have said it better myself!! Hope you are inspired...
;-D

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Beth O'Malley, speaker, and author of "LifeBooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child", "My Foster Care Journey", and "For When I'm Famous: A Teen Foster/Adoption LifeBook", is a former foster baby, and has worked over 18 years as a social worker. She is married and lives on the ocean outside of Boston. She can be reached at 1.800.469.9666 or lifebooks@earthlink.net or her Web site, www.adoptionlifebooks.com.

Lifebooks - Amazing Resources

2007-08-25T09:47:00.000+03:00

Beth O'Malley's Website:
http://www.adoptionlifebooks.com/ This site, created by Beth O’Malley, author of Lifebooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child (Adoption-Works, 2000), includes articles and tips on creating lifebooks, links to other useful Web sites, a schedule of lifebook workshops and conferences around the country, and a “Lifebook Shoppe” offering workbooks designed for different age groups and situations. Parents of older children, be sure to check out For When I’m Famous, a very hip lifebook designed expressly for teens.

Smile Box:
http://www.smilebox.com/designTypes/scrapbooks.jsp?partner=google&campaign=search_scrapbook This is the coolest thing I have found in... MONTHS! Free scrapbooking software, so you can print cute stuff out on your own printer! Phew! It's like a scrapbooking photoshop. Free for 14 days, and then... $24?? Something like that. LOVE it!!

Picaboo:

http://www.picaboo.com/?cm=gn&ad=ap&amp;cp=NA&md=web&siteID=g9qnrsyyLdQ-udvaHC1_BSAj5qrM4I1mJg This is super cool too! It is a free downloadable program that helps you create a professionally published Lifebook. You write the words, pic the pictures, and the company publishes it for you! Looks super nice. Pricing is $75 for a hardcover (linen) 20 page book. A suede leather cover is an additional $10, and each extra page is $3.

Scrap and Tell:
http://www.scrapandtell.com/ Adoption scrapbook/lifebook supplies and information, wide selection of goodies, samples of actual page layouts, articles etc

Sticker Planet:
http://www.stickerplanet.com/1 800 –557-8678 call for a catalog. Aren’t stickers fun? You can find kid stickers for Multicultural and Caucasian children—they have them all!!

Scrapbook Addicts:
http://www.scrapbookaddict.com/ Excellent one stop website for materials, on-line scrapbooking lessons, chat rooms as well as links to other resources. Readers rate how well they like different albums, books etc.

Life Preserves:
http://www.lifepreserves.com/ Here you’ll find lifebooks as well as memory albums and scrapbooks designed for all sorts of blended families, from adoptive and foster to step-families.

Adopt Shop:
www.adoptshoppe.com/lifebooks.htm Books about lifebooking and albums to help you get started. Don’t miss the Hold on Tight to Your Dream series of memory books customized for children adopted domestically and in various countries abroad.

Caroline’s Collection:
http://www.carolinescollection.com/ Lifebook and scrapbook embellishments with adoption and multicultural themes, handcrafted by a mom who got hooked after creating a lifebook for her son, adopted in Guatemala.

Time Capsule Website:
http://dmarie.com/timecap/step1.asp Discover what happened the day you were born. Headlines, toys, movies, or even famous people born on same date. Free

Day of Birth:
http://www.dayofbirth.co.uk/ Learn what day of the week you were born on. Discover how many days until your next birthday, how many seconds old you are. Plus other links. Free

Behind the Name:
http://www.behindthename.com/ Want to know what a name means? From anywhere in the world? This unique site has articles, tools and links helpful for any family.no charge

Birthday Weather:
http://www.wunderground.com/ Find the weather for any state or country. If you want weather for a historical date i.e. your child’s birthday, Go to that country/city you want, enter that date Free

History Channel: This day in history:
.http://www.historychannel.com/tdih/ Categories include general interest, entertainment, old west, technology. Not all kid friendly but lots of potential. Free

All about Flags:
http://www.crwflags.com/fotw/flags/index.html Excellent site. Information and flags from all over the world.

Interested in finding a map? Google it.
Go to http://www.goggle.com/ and type in“ maps—name of country or state/province” There are many sites which have downloadable maps, geography facts, etc.. Very helpful tool for showing where children are born and where they live now.

Breaking News...

2007-08-24T20:51:00.000+03:00

Kush was home from work “early” today (before 6pm, at least!) so we ate some food with Meer, and then as we were getting ready to take Meer out for one last spin in his car, Kush got a phone call and went into the living room to take it. Meer and I carried on our way out the door. Kush caught up with us within a minute, and had two cereal bars in his hands. He hands me a bar, and tells me to open it – he had good news!

So we both open our bars, and began walking and pushing Meer in his car…

Kush was like, “We’ve been approved.” And I was like – “What? By WHO?” (yes – completely oblivious!), and then he was like, “To adopt a child!”!!!

WhooOooOoOOooOOooOOoo HOOOOOOOOO!

I think it was a phone call from New Life Home orphanage – I saw a missed call from tehm on my phone. But then like – the ORPHANAGE calls to tell us we are approved? Not our social worker??? I am a bit confused about that part. And that we were to go on MONDAY to select a child??? Something like that.

Which has spun us into another dilemma, because Kush has upcoming work abroad, so have to wait a bit before we can actually select a child… once we have found our daughter – we can’t leave her behind!! Ya know? And our daughter cannot leave Kenya until her passport and adoption is finalized… a slight pain in the ass, but nothing unexpected.

So the jist of it, we are waiting until about December or January to go and find our daughter… but somehow now that we are APPROVED, it is more painful to wait. I dunno. It’s hard to explain. But then again – I was giving Meer his bath tonight, and was thinking – I can do this for TWO kids at once??? I can still be a great mom to Meer AND another infant?? Suddenly I can see why parents tend to wait for 2 or 3 years between children!! Maybe it is just a slap of reality hitting me…

Anyway – off to bed! Just had to share the good news as soon as possible!

Many blessings…

The Grass is Always Greener

2007-08-24T06:19:00.000+03:00

Well – THAT might be an over statement, but here is the latest and the greatest… sorta!!

Meer is doing ok… it is Friday, and I have managed to hoard ½ a dose of Infant Tylenol – DHL is expected to arrive tomorrow.

Attempted to sack (FIRE – for all you who don’t speak British English!!) our gardener last night… He started working for us as a night askari (Swahili for guard), and then when we moved to this house and required someone to open the gate in the day, we moved him to days, and he began gardening and tending to the dogs. He is generally a nice guy – happy – but as the past few months have gone on, he has gotten slower and slower – to the point of our yard looking like we don’t have a gardener at ALL! Our grass was long and going to SEED, I was picking up dog shit myself, etc.

Anyway – a couple weeks ago he asked for a RAISE. Seriously. And since he didn’t get one (he was already being paid his askari salary – which is 12 hours a day, 7 days a week – and only working 8 hour days, 6 days a week. Raise enough, if you ask me. But no – he wanted more. Fine – I admire the spirit to ask for what you want… but picking up dog shit so Meer doesn’t fall on it, and Meer tripping on sticks, rocks, bones, and debris on the “lawn” – unacceptable. But whatever – I kept my mouth shut waiting for Kush to come home from work early enough to deal with it.

Until yesterday…

I hear this honking at the gate, and then I see JOSAPHINE (our over-achieving housegirl) running to the gate! I’m like – HUH? It was 4:30pm, meaning our gardener was on duty until 5pm – but no where to be seen.

So Kush’s mom and sister arrive to play with Meer and deliver dinner (GOTTA LOVE IT!). I walk around to the staff quarters, and sure enough – our gardener is all clean and showered – putting on his shoes ready to go home! So basically he spends the last hour of his day getting ready to leave! Anyway – I calmly said in Swahili for him to report to my husband’s office tomorrow, and not to work here. He said “fine.”, and that was that.

Well. When my sister in law was leaving, the gardener complained to her that “because of you I am sacked.” HUH? NO! Because you cannot fulfill your duties at ANYTIME in the day – you are sacked. Can’t pick up dog shit. Can’t cut the grass. And now can’t open the gate. Simple, if you ask me.

In his defense – our hedge that borders our neighbours is always immaculate. He DOES like to trim the hedge where he can speak with the staff next door. And he likes to sweep the driveway WAY up by the gate (we have a super long driveway) for the same reasons. But anywhere BORING – like near the house, or where Meer plays – he doesn’t like working there.

Two weeks ago I made him a daily list of things I wanted done – so he didn’t feel like he has to sweep the Looooooong driveway everyday – do it 3 times a week. Or trim the perfect hedge for 6 hours everyday – not necessary. 3 days a week trim the hedge. 3 days a week cut the grass. I mean – that is TWENTY FOUR HOURS A WEEK to maintain the LAWN. I figure a guy could do that with his TEETH, let alone machinery. Seriously.

Anyway – STILL – nothing is being done around the house. I can hear him yacking away ALL morning – every morning. Then at 2pm he picks up some equipment and wanders out in front of some window to “work” – expecting me to be taking Meer out to play in the afternoons.

Point is – I AM white, but I am NOT stupid. I actually HAVE worked in my life. MacDonald’s was my first job. Safe to say I am fully aware of working your way up the pay scale! Jease. Lazy bugger.

So – as luck would have it, Kush pulled into the driveway like 4 minutes later. Once AGAIN I got “the eye” for sacking someone with Kush or James (our driver/manager/assistant guy) being home. They are concerned that the employee with pull a hairy-kairy and go nuts when I am home alone. I really have a hard time biting my tongue when my freaking HOUSEGIRL is running to the gate during work hours! Like seriously – the woman is fantastic. She has the house pulled together almost singlehandedly by 11am. Then she does anything she can think of to occupy the rest of the hours. ASKARI duty – NOT REQUIRED. Anyway – I flipped. CALMLY, but like seriously. How could I just let THAT one slide?? Freaking SHOWERING during work hours? Please.

Anyway – that was yesterday. And he is outside washing my car this morning, so I guess he wants to work. I have no idea! He certainly won’t be showering, that’s for sure!! Ha ha ha!!

Ugh. I know it sounds all nice to have staff, but somedays it feels like it would be a lot easier to have the appliances to do the work yourself; dishwasher, lawnmower, vacuum cleaner…

OH! And did I meantion that he basically called me a LIAR too? He told Kush I had NEVER picked up dog shit and that I had NEVER told him to do it, or showed him the dog shit. I actually had to go drag my houseman out to confirm that on TWO SEPERATE OCCASIONS I HAD indeed PICKED UP DOG SHIT. Nice one. Kush is concerned that if we fire him "badly", he can bring thugs from the slums to our house to rob us, or what-have-you. Valid point, and everything, but HOW annoying! Anyway - let's see... maybe it will be his own idea to quit sooner than later anyway!

Sigh...

Rationing of the Tylenol...

2007-08-23T15:57:00.000+03:00

So we're here - having a GREAT DAY! No Tylenol usage yet! Yesterday was a 4x day - which put a serious dent on our rationed Infant Tylenol and Panadol supplies! Even had to slip in some local Panadol - imagine the injustice! Poor Meer swallowed it, though. Anyway - nothing so far today! Hoping the DHL supply from my mom arrives by Saturday. We have about 2 doses of the good stuff left, so I am hoarding it for a true teething emergency!

Well - there you have it - another day in the life. I will be back tomorrow with a FULL blabbering of everything juicy and fun! Until then, MUCH love...

;-D

Mrs. MIA...

2007-08-22T14:43:00.003+03:00

Ya - ya - I Know. DAYS since my last post!! To be honest - Meer is cutting in SIX teeth - pretty much all at once, so the poor little guy... welll - he needs me more than average! As luck would have it, we are practically OUT of Infant Tylenol - luckily my mom is sending some DHL! Should be here by Saturday - fingers crossed. Well - here we go again - I can hear him calling me! ;-D

Sunny Sunday

2007-08-19T13:45:00.000+03:00

So we made it to church – for a new record of FOUR Sundays in a ROW!!! Not joking. Meer really likes seeing the other kids in the nursery, and apparently Kush enjoys listening to the sermon! How handy is that?? Shocking, I know.

We go to a church called, “International Christian Fellowship”, which is non-denominational and meets in the theatre of a local private school near the UN. It’s a small gathering – about 100 people, or so. It is a good mix of people – and even about 5 or 6 families that have gone through, or are going through, the adoption process here in Kenya.

Anyway – it is a great way to start the week. Good people. Good feelings. Good times!

I am trying to find a link to the church, but have come up blank! Anyway – if you clic on the title of this post, you will go to the website for Rosslyn Academy...

Sticks and Stones

2007-08-19T12:29:00.000+03:00

So here I am – home alone happily putting down Meer for his nap, when Kasimbi comes in to tell me the landlord is here and wants to talk with me. Now – some background info for those of you who have NOT been to our house – it is a sh*t box. Well – maybe THAT is a bit of an overstatement, but it IS safe to say that it is it is a brand new house that was built like sh*t, and is owned by a wanna-be slumlord. Basically.

So since FEB-RU-ARY we have been living with a big hole in the kitchen wall – where the tiles have actually popped off the wall due to the house settling into a… lagoon??? Pretty much. Then there are the endless issues with hot water – the heaters are usually broken. The jist of it is that the whole house is run on 9 breakers. When my dad comes over, he pops open the breaker box just to have a LAUGH! Seriously. I am not joking.

There is also the 4 foot fence at the front of the property beside the gate – a true joke in land of security and “compound” living.

We have mold growing under the stairs, and under the kitchen sink. (special, huh??) I mean – the house is falling apart.

Literally.

Has anyone seen Lemony Snicket Series of Unfortunate Events?? Remember the scene where the storm breaks apart the house and the children are left standing in the doorway with the rest of the house crumbling behind them? Well – that is our house! And to top it off – the last time I asked the landlord to fix it, we ended up in an ARGUMENT!! Seriously. So imagine my JOY to know I was home alone (without my warrior husband – he is off watching an international cricket match) and the guy was waiting to see me in the driveway. (gag)

So I go out, and after him laughing at me and saying the “home repairs” were up to the tenant to do, and me saying “fine, we’ll move”, we came to an understanding: The house needs to be repaired – he has to pay for it – and that’s that. He likes to pretend he is all worldly, and lives in the States (lie) – so he is too far above us to care about home repairs. Uh… ya. Whatever. Like I give two hoots to pee with the guy. Ya know?? Please. FIX YOUR HOUSE. Joker.

So I made a list of all the things that were broken, and he agreed to get them fixed – even went so far as to act shocked that they weren’t fixed the LAST time I bitched. (sure.) Anyway – we have agreed to get the repairs done ourselves, and deduct the cost from the upcoming rent. Oh – I should also explain that rent is due every three months here in Kenya, and it is due on the 22nd! Hence him actually showing up and pretending to CARE. Ugh. Faker. Anyway – Kush always said it was wrong to do repairs and deduct it from the rent – that is was tacky. But I say – Hell Yeah!!!

Anyway – he is gone. And I can get the house fixed… finally! He wants me to email him the quotes – so lets see how cheap his ass gets when he isn’t looking me in the eye. Hmn.

Well – I am feeling a bit better now – nothing like a good vent to lighten the load! THANKS! Ha ha ha!!!

Whine and Cheese

2007-08-19T12:25:00.000+03:00

Not to harp on and on about the down side of things, but getting PHOTOS uploaded to this blog – is a HUGE pain in my arse! I am talking – like… I try to send one about 30 times throughout the day, and it almost always (except twice so far!) times out and says “Internet Explorer cannot display the Webpage”. UGH!!! See? – It just did it again. Anyway… I will keep on trying, and when you see a super cute little boy on top of my “Adoption – the 1st step” post, you will know I have been successful!! Ha ha ha!! Sigh… one more time – just for the FUN of it…

;-D

This is for the Birds

2007-08-18T13:27:00.001+03:00

Ah – it’s nap time around here again! Phew. Today our project is making Suet and Peanut Butter Bird Food Feeders! Seems birds are Meer’s favorite thing to go and look for around the house (yes – on his circuit!), so we are trying to increase the population. The handy thing is that there are SO MANY birds around, that we can almost ALWAYS see a bird sitting on a power line, or fence post.

Anyway – we went to the butcher this morning and got half kilo of beef suet, and then bird seed from the pet store… The jist of the recipe is to melt the suet, stir in a small jar of crunchy peanut butter, and then add a cup of bird seed, whole wheat flour, cornmeal, sunflower seeds, and oatmeal. It turns into a kinda gloopy mess, but doesn’t smell as bad as it sounds!

So you fill molds – we used a paper milk carton with a stick poking through both sides for a perch - and chill them until they are set. And then cut out little windows on both sides above the stick for the birds to access the suet inside. The leftovers I heaped onto a pie plate, and suspended on the hedge close to where the birds already hang out in the mornings. So far no takers, though… OH! Have two little chirpers sitting on the power lines above the pie plate… should be soon…

;-D

Adoption - Some Inspiration

2007-08-17T13:30:00.000+03:00

Well – deciding to do it is the hardest part. There is a lot of inspiration available – all you have to do is visit an orphanage once, and you will be touched so deeply you will suddenly find adoption in your heart.

Before we went, I had it in my head I would have to adopt an infant - the younger the better. But after visiting with the children, I knew it was in me to adopt a toddler! Who would have thunk it. After speaking with our pediatrician though, we have decided to maintain the birth order for Meer, and will be adopting a child younger than he is. Aparently it is easier for them to bond if the oldest stays the oldest, etc. Makes sense, really.

Anyway - the above picture was taken by my Mom, at an orphanage called New Life Home Trust. (You can check out their web page by clicking on the title of this post.) The home cares for up to 50 babies, all of which were HIV+ and abandoned at birth. When we were there they had 47 babies. The babies are taken in between 0 – 3 months old, and then moved on to other homes when they reach the age of 3. Some are adopted, but as one of the workers told us, only about 10 per year. This is a bit confusing when you compare it to the stats on the website (which says most children are adopted or fostered), so I think that means lots of children become fostered, but not actually adopted. I should also add that 70% of them are HIV negative by the age of about 4 months old.

The orphanage is run in a quite large house – three separate wings/stories for the different ages; 0-1, 1-2, and 2-3. The home is VERY clean, and they have a lot of volunteers from all over the world that come to play with the children, and help with feedings, etc. There is a doctor’s office within the home, where pediatricians come on a volunteer basis to provide healthcare for the children. There is also an isolation nursery where the very young stay when they first arrive. There were 9 newborns there when we visited. They are in isolation to protect them from germs while they fight off the HIV virus.

All in all it is a really good place. I highly recommend you to snoop around their website – they have some stories of the individual babies that are really touching.

Anyway – I hope you are inpired! ;-D